Friday, December 25, 2009

Week 16 Picks

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas. I certainly did...I'm currently bringing this to you via my brand new laptop which, among many other things, help me not even sniff the Crummy Gifts O/U from last week. I echo all of the sentiments in Joe's blog...you guys have made the Shore Sports Report possible and our time hosting it for you has been the greatest gift I've ever been given. As my rough season winds down and the holidays are warm in your hearts...I'd like to ask the fans of teams who either have wrapped up their berth or are scrapping for theirs to take a moment to remember the teams that have gone before you. At this joyous time of the year, turn your thoughts to the Rams, the Bears, the Browns, the Seahawks and all those like him. God Bless Ye Forgotten Teams. I feel your pain.


WEEK 16 PICKS:

CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR:
Chargers (+2) over TITANS

SUNDAY:
PACKERS (-14) over Seahawks
BROWNS (-3) over Raiders
BENGALS (-13.5) over Chiefs
FALCONS (-9) over Bills
DOLPHINS (-3) over Texans
GIANTS (-7) over Panthers
SAINTS (-14) over Buccaneers
PATRIOTS (-8) over Jaguars
STEELERS (-3) over Ravens
Broncos (+7) over EAGLES
Rams (+14) over CARDINALS
49ERS (-13) over Lions
COLTS (-5.5) over Jets
Cowboys (-7) over REDSKINS
BEARS (+6) over Vikings

RECORD SO FAR: 108-110-4

Friday, December 18, 2009

Week 15 Picks

I'm not writing anything witty anymore. Because what's the point. I stink. You know I stink. Time to go through the motions.


THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Colts (-3) over JAGUARS (picked on the show)


SPECIAL SATURDAY NIGHT EDITION OF THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (no, really):
SAINTS (-7.5) over Cowboys


SPECIAL SUNDAY EDITION OF A SPECIAL SATURDAY NIGHT EDITION OF THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:

Falcons (+6) over JETS
STEELERS (-2) over Packers
TITANS (-3) over Dolphins
Patriots (-7) over BILLS
CARDINALS (-12) over Lions
EAGLES (-8.5) over 49ers
Bears (+11) over RAVENS
CHIEFS (-2) over Browns
RAMS (+11) over Texans
CHARGERS (-6.5) over Bengals
BRONCOS (-14) over Raiders
SEAHAWKS (-6.5) over Buccaneers
Vikings (-9) over PANTHERS

FOOTBALL ON MONDAY:
Giants (-3) over REDSKINS



And for the hell of it
O/U on Crummy Gifts I recieve: 1.5

I'm taking the Under. Something's gotta break my way, right? Happy Holidays, my friends.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Week 14 Picks

These were made before the games started. Why would I lie?

GIANTS (-1.5) over Eagles
COLTS (-6.5) over Broncos
Bengals (+6) over VIKINGS
BUCCANEERS (+3.5) over Jets
Bills (-2.5) over CHIEFS
PACKERS (-4) over Bears
Dolphins (+2) over JAGUARS
FALCONS (+10) over Saints
Lions (+14) over RAVENS
PATRIOTS (-12.5) over Panthers
Seahawks (+7) over TEXANS
TITANS (-13) over Rams
Redskins (-2.5) over RAIDERS
Chargers (+3.5) over COWBOYS
Cardinals (-3) over 49ERS

Friday, December 4, 2009

Week 13 Picks: I'm Ashamed

I don't truly know why I'm writing this. I think I proved to the whole wide world last weekend that I don't have an EARTHLY clue what I am talking about. 5-10-1. That is HIDEOUS. My Sunday record was a stellar 3-8-1. Now I've got two ties on my record. That's like two oozing coldsores on my lip. I could have sworn I picked the Bucs, the Bills, and the Redskins. Clearly, a wandering band of gremlins whose only purpose is to embarass Mike Krenek hacked into my account. Those guys have been on my tail for years...and their success rate has been very, very high. If gremlins work on commission, these guys are the Sultans of Brunei to the Goblin Community. I've changed my password and am growing a beard to hopefully throw them off the trail.

Somehow, I'm still above .500 for the season. Consider this week's picks a drowning man's last gasp for air. Sink or swim time.



WEEK 13 PICKS:

Thursday Night:
BUFFALO (+3) over Jets (Oh Joy! 0-1 to start!)


Sunday:
GIANTS (+2) over Cowboys
Broncos (-4.5) over CHIEFS
STEELERS (-14.5) over Raiders
Texans (PK) over JAGUARS
Titans (+6.5) over COLTS
Eagles (-3.5) over FALCONS
BENGALS (-13) over Lions
Saints (-9.5) over REDSKINS
PANTHERS (-6) over Buccaneers
BEARS (-9) over Rams
Chargers (-13) over BROWNS
SEAHAWKS (PK) over 49ers
Patriots (-3) over DOLPHINS
Vikings (-3) over CARDINALS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
PACKERS (-3) over Ravens


I'm feeling pretty confident. This is it. This is the week I show the world that Mike Krenek is not a man to be taken lightly! Mike Krenek is not a joke! Mike Krenek is not a man to be embarassed!!!






OH NO.


RECORD SO FAR: 88-84-2

Monday, November 30, 2009

Cooperstown Bound Part I

Well folks, its that time of year. Thanksgiving has come and gone and Christmas time is here. Its a time of giving, of getting, and of humorous names on the MLB Hall of Fame Ballot. Tell me what die-hard baseball fan didn't get a chuckle out of the mere idea of soft tossin' reliever Mike Jackson's handsome face being etched in gold and hung among the hallowed halls of Cooperstown. Once you dredge through the Ashbys, the Appiers and the Karroses (Karrosi?), you'll find a few names of the 2010 ballot that are probably bound for the Church in Upstate New York. Roberto Alomar? In. Barry Larkin? In. Edgar Martinez? One of the greatest hitters of all time, but may be left out due to his DH-ness. Fred McGriff? An interesting case to say the least. All of this got me thinking...what players in today's game should start writing out their mini-bios for their plaque? With the veil of steroids (perhaps unjustly) hanging over the game today, a lot of guys who would have been locks 20 years ago are "up in the air." But for the purposes of this blog, let's go with the "Oh Well" logic and accept the fact that 'roiding was a very real (if unfortunate) part of the game for the last 20 years or so and that the sportswriters will climb down from their ivory towers and vote these guys in. So without further adieu, I give you...The Active Hall of Famers According to Mike Krenek of The Shore Sports Network (I couldn't think of a catchy name, so sue me.) Today, I'll be touching on the guys who could fall out of bed tomorrow morning, die, and be inducted to the Hall of Fame without ever oiling up their glove again...The No Brainers.






The No-Brainers (Hall of Famers if they retired tomorrow):

Derek Jeter: The guy's got so many rings its no wonder he isn't getting married. Adding another piece of bling to his hands would make him look like a Colombian drug lord. Add his winning ways to 2,747 hits, a career .317 average (.313 postseason), seven Top 10 MVP showings, and being the face of the most famous franchise in sports and you've got yourself a first ballot Hall of Famer.


Ken Griffey Jr: Ahh what could have been. The hands down winner for the "Greatest Player Ever IF" award of this era, The Kid's career has been plauged by injury. But a glance at the sheer numbers will show you that while injuries derailed his "Greatest Ever" status, they far from tarnished his Hall of Fame chances. 630 dingers, 1829 RBIs, and 2,763 hits? Sprinkle in some of the best defensive CF ever played and that's a Hall of Fame cocktail.

Chipper Jones: The third member of the Holy Trinity of "Clean", Chipper has posted some awesome numbers down in Hotlanta. 400+ HRs, 1400+ RBIs, a career batting average of .307 and OBP of .406, a MVP award and being the face of a perpetual winner (with one World Series ring to boot) makes Larry a "Shore Fire" Hall of Famer...and that joke clearly makes me a first ballot Witty Hall of Famer.

Mariano Rivera: I don't need to write anything here. When you are unarguably the greatest ever at your position, you go to the Hall of Fame. That's just the way the world works.

Manny Ramirez: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know all about the steroids. I know all about Manny being Manny and Manny being Tranny. But I also know that he is one of the greatest pure hitters I have ever seen with immense power and an incredible eye to boot. A career .300 plus hitter with 600 plus home runs and two World Series rings? Manny's a Hall of Famer in my book and should be in yours too.

Alex Rodriguez: Ahh the centaur himself. You know him. You hate him. You love to hate him. He's the most polarizing and interesting figure in baseball since Pete Rose. And like Charlie Hustle before him, keeping him from the Hall of Fame is a joke. He might be the best hitter we've ever seen, he has played both the SS and 3B position incredibly well (arguably the greatest to play either position.) when its all said and done he might own nearly every hitting record there is to own, he's won multiple MVP awards and finally got the playoff monkey of his back this fall. Cousin Yuri aside, this man is a Hall of Famer. If he ends up organizing book signings across the street from Cooperstown on induction day, a part of me will die inside.

Pedro Martinez: New York's most famous son, Petey is one of the greatest pitchers of all time. The last few years have altered his statistics a little bit, but we must not forget the amazing ERA numbers (6 sub 2.50 years) he posted in the thick of the longball era, many of them in the vaunted AL East! His stretch from '97-'03 is one of the greatest in baseball history (118-36, 2.20 ERA, .94 WHIP, and 1,761 Ks, 3 Cy Youngs and an MVP award...New York sportswriters be damned). He won't touch 300 wins and many people may forever remember him for calling people his daddy and throwing granddaddys down, but his 3,000+ Ks and 2.93 ERA get him in on my first ballot.

Randy Johnson: The Big Unit was born to be a dominant mound intimidator. Could you imagine that mug sneering down at you and asking if you'd like fries with that? Nightmarish. But it wasn't until he got to the National League that we realized he was also born to be chiseled into Cooperstown lore. Taking into account his half season with the 'Stros and his 4 Cy Young (4!) seasons with the Snakes, he was borderline untouchable in the Senior Circuit. If Johnson doesn't pitch another big league game (which is likely), he'll be walking away with 303 wins, 4,875 Ks, 6 Cy Youngs (with 9 Top 5 finishes), and one bird demolished. He's in the "Sky is Blue, Grass is Green" category of obvious.

Albert Pujols: Call him El Hombre, call him Phat Albert, call him boring...I'll call him the best. He has come into the league like a bat out of hell, mashing 30 HRs, driving in 100 RBIs, batting over .300 and finishing in the Top 10 of MVP balloting (winning a trio) EVERY SINGLE YEAR he's been in the league. 366 HRs and 1717 hits certainly don't look like jaw-dropping numbers but when you consider the furious pace Albert is posting them at, you have to believe this guy is going to climb into the transcendent category of hitters. But if a freak injury were to derail him, I believe he's already done enough to get the call.

John Smoltz: A dominant starter, a dominant closer, and an all around bulldog, Smoltzie is a can't miss Hall of Famer. His win-loss numbers aren't eye popping, but considering he moved to the 'pen for three years, dominated there and then came BACK to being a good front line starter, the "limited" win number (215) isn't surprising. If you take his average season and add it to his win-loss total for the 3 years he was a closer, he's in the neighborhood of 250. Add all that to his big-game acumen and Mr. Smoltz should be bound for the Hall of Fame.

Ichiro Suzuki: I'm not even considering his Japanese statistics, as some journalists (oddly) do. He's been in the league for only 9 seasons and has already achieved 2,000 hits. He is one of only two active big leaguers whose career BA (.333) has him in the top 30 of all time. He's got an MVP award on his resume as well as the single season hits record. He also has been an elite level defender in RF (and CF) during his Mariners tenure. A lot of folks put him in the "a few more years" echelon. I say he's Hall-worthy right now.

Vladimir Guerrero: How he is still underrated I will never truly understand. Just take a gander at the numbers. 407 HRs, 1318 RBIs, 2,249 hits and perhaps the best arm since Clemente. The big knock on Vlad the Impaler is his free-swinging. That reputation is not unwarranted of course, but he's mustered an impressive .321 batting average over his career...that's higher than Jeter, Manny, Chipper, and A-Rod AND higher than more than a few current Hall of Famers, including the aforementioned 'Berto. Slice the cake anyway you want, Vladdy is going to Cooperstown.

Ivan Rodriguez: Another one of the many "steroid" cases on the list, I-Rod's contributions behind the plate cannot be ignored. Arguably the greatest catcher of this generation, Pudge was a very good hitter and an all-world defender. 2,711 hits, 305 HRs, and 1,264 RBIs rank him among the top offensive players at his position and his legendary mitt won him 13 Gold Gloves (the most ever by a catcher), including a stretch in which he won 10 in a row. I've always inexplicably hated him, but even I can't deny that he's worthy.

Jim Thome: Ahh Mr. Thome. A man who inspired a spirited (and obscene) debate on 105.7 The Hawk's "Pregame." My co-host Joe and I were laying out his case for the Hall, a case that was ROUNDLY criticized. But you can't argue with consistency. 564 HRs (I don't care what people say about stat inflation...500 taters is still an impressive number) and a career OBP over .400? Count me among the many who tout the well-traveled Thome as a HOFer.

Gary Sheffield: Another member of the magic numbers club (and the magic Cream/Clear club)...500 HRs is still 500 HRs and last I checked, 509 is a bigger number than 500. He's been very good, not great, in the other big categories....batting .292 with 2,689 hits. He's got far less dingers than Reggie Jackson, who would become his wholly unlikeable slugger compatriot if elected, but was a much, much better hitter all total. If his homer total was say, 15 or so less, he'd be in Part II's category, but again...numbers is numbers.



So there you go folks...15 active players who, in my opinion, should start prepping their speeches. I could have written oodles more on each...compared them to the rest of the Plaques, told you the other players who had achieved the incredible things they did and perhaps even debated what hat will be worn on each plaque (GRIFFEY AS THE FIRST M! THE UNIT AS THE FIRST [AND ONLY] DIAMONDBACK!), but c'mon...I'm already long winded and pompous enough.

Before you Trevor Hoffman fan(s) reading this start leaving me angry comments asking how I could forget him...cool your jets. I didn't forget him. In the next few days, I'll be writing Part II to this series..."The Question Marks." Part III will be "Well On Their Way." Keep an eye for those blogs in the coming days.

I suppose it bears repeating that I have no idea what will be done with the whole steroids angle, which would then put A-Rod, Manny, Sheff, and Pudge in limbo, but I made my opinions on that clear at the outset. It happened. Come off it. Cope. It stinks and it has jaded most fans of my generation, but putting a needle in your butt doesn't magically make you an elite level player. Case in point, at no point did the names Larry Bigbie, Randy Verlarde, or Marvin Bernard enter my head for this column.


Agree? Disagree? Think I don't know what I'm talking about? Comment away...that's the beauty of this stuff. Its all up for debate.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving Day Picks

Happy Thanksgiving one and all! This year I'm thankful for a lot of things...Don Wakamatsu, the Seahawks' two first round picks, Danny Granger, and the fact that the St. Louis Rams are in the NFC West. I'm also thankful for my 8-8 record last week, because my God do I hate 7-9. Its the football equivalent of "I don't want to ruin the friendship." Its a slap in the face. 8-8 is at least "friends with benefits." It isn't a success, but it isn't a total failure either. This week I'm going to try to sneak into the "we'll take it slow" range of 9-7. Wish me luck.


THANKSGIVING DAY PICKS:

Packers (-12) over LIONS
COWBOYS (-13.5) over Raiders
Giants (-6) over BRONCOS


SUNDAY GAMES:
TEXANS (+3.5) over Colts
BENGALS (-14) over Browns
Bears (+11) over VIKINGS
EAGLES (-9) over Redskins
Dolphins (-3) over BILLS
Cardinals (+3) over TITANS
Seahawks (-3) over RAMS
FALCONS (-12) over Buccaneers
Panthers (+3) over JETS
49ERS (-3) over Jaguars
Chiefs (+13.5) over CHARGERS
RAVENS (PK) over Steelers

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Patriots (+1.5) over SAINTS



RECORD SO FAR: 83-74-1

For the record my lovely co-host Joseph has picked Green Bay, Dallas, and New York for today's games.

UPDATE: I received a text from Joe during warm-ups that read "If Stafford is playing change my pick to the Lions getting the points"

Friday, November 20, 2009

Week 11: The Late Bloomer

After a rough and tumble beginning of the season, the K-Train is starting to roll on into the station. A 10-4 showing last week has me feeling loose and has put me only 5 games behind my esteemed cohost. Is it too little too late? Will I be able to save a season of mediocrity and look like I actually know what I'm talking about? Will my backing of the Bucaneers Express blow up in my face like a ACME Rocket? If last night was any indication, I better have my "well over .500" party this week. The Carolina Panthers not only screwed me here but also in fantasy football. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I'm going to kick John Fox in the genitals.


WEEK 11 PICKS:

GIANTS (-6.5) over Falcons
PATRIOTS (-10.5) over Jets
LIONS (-3.5) over Browns
Bills (+9) over JAGUARS
STEELERS (-10) over Chiefs
Colts (-1) over RAVENS
PACKERS (-6.5) over 49ers
VIKINGS (-10.5) over Seahawks
Redskins (+11) over COWBOYS
BUCCANEERS (+11.5) over Saints
Cardinals (-9) over RAMS
BENGALS (-9.5) over Raiders
Chargers (-1) over BRONCOS
Eagles (-3) over BEARS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Titans (-4.5) over TEXANS


RECORD SO FAR: 75-66-1

Friday, November 13, 2009

Week 10 Picks: Onward and Upward

OH BOY! Christmas come early for this Shore Sports Reporter! An 8-5 record has snapped me out of my funk and propelled me to a studly 65-62-1 record! Major networks have already been calling me non-stop to be their "expert" and I can't even walk down the street without being approached by some layabout hobo who wants gambling advice or a woman who just wants to feel my aura. A winning percentage in the .510s! Now I know how Art Shell feels!!! In honor of Art, I'm picking against the Raiders this week! Take that Al Davis!!!



Looking over my picks, I realize that the Chiefs, the Buccaneers, the Lions, and the Seahawks are all on the left side of the column. I may go from being approached by layabouts asking for advice to approaching layabouts asking for a dollar.





WEEK 10 PICKS:

Lions (+17.5) over VIKINGS
Bucaneers (+10) over DOLPHINS
TITANS (-6.5) over Bills
Saints (-13.5) over RAMS
JETS (-7) over Jaguars
Broncos (-3.5) over REDSKINS
Bengals (+7) over STEELERS
PANTHERS (+1.5) over Falcons
Chiefs (-1.5) over RAIDERS
Seahawks (+8.5) over CARDINALS
CHARGERS (-1.5) over Eagles
PACKERS (+3) over Cowboys
Patriots (+3) over COLTS


MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Ravens (-10.5) over BROWNS


And for the hell of it (sticking with my underdog theme)
Cotto (+225) over Pacquiao

RECORD SO FAR: 65-62-1

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Mr. .500

I walk into this week with one of the ugliest possible records...57-57-1. That's just unappealing. I walk into every single week with a little voice in the back of my mind saying "You could go undefeated." Then another one says "You could go winless." The fruits of their battle is my .500 (with a tie) record. Shut up guys.



JAGUARS (-7) over Chiefs
Ravens (-3) over BENGALS
Texans (+7.5) over COLTS
FALCONS (-8.5) over Redskins
Packers (-9.5) over BUCCANEERS
Cardinals (+2) over BEARS
PATRIOTS (-11) over Dolphins
Panthers (+12) over SAINTS
SEAHAWKS (-10.5) over Lions
Titans (+4.5) over 49ERS
GIANTS (-5) over Chargers
Cowboys (+3) over EAGLES

Monday Night Football:
Steelers (-3) over BRONCOS



RECORD SO FAR: 57-57-1

Friday, October 30, 2009

Week 8 Picks: Now with 100% More Ties!

I'm so disgusted. Thanks to the Houston Texans, I have to walk around the rest of the season with the football equivalent of Hester Prynne's Scarlet "A"...the tie. Yes that disgusting extra dash will now be attached to my record the rest of the year. So let's here it for Gary Kubiak, Mike Singletary, and everyone else who made it possible for me to have this extra little "1" to lug around for the next 11 weeks!!! As my intrepid co-host pointed out however, at least everyone who picked the game has to deal with the tie. Its nice to know I'm not suffering alone. Anyway, a red hot start last week propelled me to over .500 once again! It would have been a legendary week, but I had been taking heavy hallucinogens and decided that choosing the Buccaneers and Redskins was the right choice. Luckily, I've cleaned up and am ready to take the jump from "Pretty OK" to "OK".


WEEK 8 PICKS:
Giants (PK) over EAGLES
JETS (-3) over Dolphins
COWBOYS (-9.5) over Seahawks
Texans (-3.5) over BILLS
COLTS (-12) over 49ers
Browns (+13) over BEARS
RAVENS (-3.5) over Broncos
TITANS (-3) over Jaguars
LIONS (-3.5) over Rams
PACKERS (-3) over Vikings
CHARGERS (-16.5) over Raiders
Panthers (+10) over CARDINALS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Falcons (+10) over SAINTS

and for the hell of it
Pettite (-1.5) over HAMELS

RECORD SO FAR:
51-50-1

Friday, October 23, 2009

Week 7: Call Me Wayne

Fontes...Wayne Fontes. That's who I'm feeling like this week, friends. A 7-7 week 6 keeps me sittin' pretty at one game under .500. I feel like Moses...before me sits The Land of Milk and Honey (in my case The Land of A Cut Above Average), but despite my long exodus through the desert, entry is being denied. This week is the week. I'm adjusting my robes, straightening my staff and marchin' into the Promised Land. Just call me the Moses of Mediocrity! Let's do some pickin'!


Chargers (-5) over CHIEFS
Colts (-14) over RAMS
Packers (-9) over BROWNS
STEELERS (-5.5) over Vikings
Tampa Bay (-15) over New England (clearly the matchup I'd send overseas. Gotta get 'em hooked!)
TEXANS (-3) over 49ers
Jets (-6) over RAIDERS
PANTHERS (-7) over Bills
BENGALS (-1) over Bears
Saints (-6.5) over DOLPHINS
Falcons (+4) over COWBOYS
GIANTS (-7) over Cardinals


MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
WASHINGTON (+7) over Philadelphia
(I said I'd never pick Jim Zorn again. I never said anything about Sherm "Bingo" Smith.)


And for the hell of it:
Pettite (-1.5) over Saunders


RECORD SO FAR: 44-45

*all lines courtesy of ScoresAndOdds.com
*all knowledge courtesy of a unwarranted sense of expertise

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Week 6 Picks

When I say these were finished before the games began...well you're just going to have to believe me.


SAINTS (-3) over Giants
Chiefs (+6.5 over REDSKINS
Texans (+3.5) over BENGALS
STEELERS (-14) over Browns
VIKINGS (-3) over Ravens
JAGUARS (-9.5) over Rams
Panthers (-3) over BUCS
PACKERS (-14) over Lions
Eagles (-14.5) over RAIDERS
SEAHAWKS (-3) over Cardinals
JETS (-9.5) over Bills
PATRIOTS (-9) over Titans
FALCONS (-3.5)over Bears

MNF:
CHARGERS (-3.5) over Broncos



Record So Far: 37-38

Friday, October 9, 2009

Week 5 Picks: I'M OVER .500

Yes folks, break out the champagne. Your beloved SSR co-host is FINALLY over .500 after a 9-5 Week 4 showing. There's a part of me that wants to retire before a week from hell sends me back to JauronLand, but I am many things...a quitter is not one of them. Before we begin, I'd like to remind everyone that I am NEVER EVER EVER picking Jim Zorn's Skins to cover. Never ever. Let's see if the good mojo continues into Week 5.



WEEK 5 PICKS
Raiders (+15.5) over GIANTS
Vikings (-10) over RAMS
Cowboys (-8.5) over CHIEFS
PANTHERS (-3.5) over Redskins
EAGLES (-14.5) over Bucs
BILLS (-6) over Browns
RAVENS (-8.5) over Bengals
Steelers (-10.5) over LIONS
49ERS (-2.5) over Falcons
Patriots (-3) over BRONCOS
CARDINALS (-5.5) over Texans
SEAHAWKS (+3) over Jaguars
Colts (-3.5) over TITANS


MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Jets (-1.5) over DOLPHINS



RECORD SO FAR: 32-29

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

This is Beyond Blogging

I'm sure you've all seen those "Beyond Baseball" commercials they've been running all season long to hype up the game and now, the playoffs. They are cheesy. They are typical. They are over dramatic.They are fantastic. I love them. When I see a new one come on, my eyes automatically go to the screen. I'd love to see one about The Shore Sports Report hosts:

*cue piano music* "They know Moises Alou's career on base percentage. While others chatted up girls at parties, they loudly argued over Edgar Martinez's Hall of Fame candidacy with anyone who'd listen. Joe's been known to decline social plans for May Yankee games. Mike plans his whole summer around the Mariners/Yankees series. Their "code words" for "late night activity" with the ladies centered around who was playing what base for their favorite teams at the time. Shockingly, it took a while for "Dan Wilson" to occur.

This is beyond virginity. This is beyond Sports Talk Radio."



Brings a tear to my eye, it does. But we are now actually beyond baseball ladies and gents. We are into the 2nd season, the maddening times of ups and downs, sevens and sweeps, walk-offs and blown saves. We are in October. As any baseball fan will tell you, this makes it all worth it. The 162 game season, the sometimes excruciating minutia, trying to get not too high during win streaks and not too low for losing streaks...It all comes down to this. No longer can people like my father say "How 'bout we get to October first?" We're in October, Pops. Its business time.


8 Teams for 1 goal. 7 of those teams join the other 22 on the list of "Failed Seasons." You play those 162 (or 163 in Minnesota's case) to get the opportunity to play AGAIN to get to the World Series. And win that. Then and only then can a team claim they had a successful season. Does it get more dramatic than that? To those of you who are rolling your eyes and saying "baseball is boring". BORING! HORSEFEATHERS my friend...sheer HORSEFEATHERS. Were you not watching when Matt Stairs took Big Bad John Broxton over the right field wall, validating a long, laborious and mediocre career! Did you miss the memo about the lowly Tampa Bay Rays making a miracle run to the World Series? What about the 2004 ALCS? Under a rock for that? Or the 2003 ALCS for that matter! AND THE 1995 ALDS! REFUSE TO LOSE! REFUSE TO LOSE! HOW IS ALL THIS BORING!!!!

And if you did miss all that, do yourself (and me) a favor. Sit your baseball bashing butt down, put on ESPN or the MLB Network or go to some sports website if you're into that sort of thing and watch the highlights of yesterday's one game playoff between the Tigers and Twins. If the thought of baseball entering your eye sockets disgusts you, then just read about it. The "game recap" is more enthralling than anything Dan Brown has ever written. Nothing I say here will do it justice. Just take a break from this blog, go check it out, and come back to me.


Now tell me baseball's boring.


PREDICTIONS:

Yankees over Twins: 3-0

Note to the afforementioned "baseball is boring" guy: Watch any series but this one. I doubt this will be pretty or fun for anyone but Yankee fans. Sure the Twins have Big Mo on their side, but the Yankees have a lineup that would win the World Baseball Classic and a pitching staff that we've seen shut down the best of the best. They also have that other Big Mo, the kind that will automatically quell any chance the Twins have to comeback in the 9th in a dramatic fashion. The bottom of Minny's order is not going to do much and Jack Morris ain't taking the hill. Great run, great game, great story...but not a great team. The Yanks on the other hand, are as good as they've been since '98. God Bless Ya, Minnesota. At least you'll get one more in the Metrodome.


Angels over Red Sox: 3-1

Los Angeles has somehow, someway flown under the radar all season long. Its so strange to see an Angels team slugging their way to victory. It seems...wrong. I feel dirty when I watch it. Repressed memories aside, the Angels can hack with the best of them. Their starting pitching isn't too shabby either...its the 'pen that worries you. On the other side, the Boston Red Sox have been baseball's Jekyll and Hyde this year. For some stretches they have looked very, very good. Others...very, very bad. I expect good Boston to show up, but I just think this Angels team is built for short series success and have waaay too much emotion on their side...Number 34 will be on the hearts and minds of Angels players. Couple that with their hot bats and battle-tested pitching, and you've got yourself a Yanks/Angels ALCS.



Phillies over Rockies: 3-1
I want to believe in Purple Reign. I want to believe in Rocktober. I want to believe in Tracymania. But unfortuantley, I can't. This Philadelphia team seems too rock solid to be shocked in a short series. The starting pitching has been very good and the lineup is outright filthy. I don't see the PHailure that is Brad Lidge factoring heavily into this one, as Philly is going to try to slug their way ahead early. The Rockies are a damn good team, much better than the squad that made the Fall Classic in '07. It would behoove the World Champs to get a good start out of Cole Hamels and sweep the first two at Citizen's Bank. Otherwise, perhaps that Rocktober magic may return.



Cardinals over Dodgers: 3-2
This is going to be a fantastic series. Both of these teams have had great seasons. I almost wish this was the NLCS, so it could go a little longer. The Cards have a clear advantage in the SP department. Two Cy Young candidates at the top, and Joel Pinero (laugh all you want...he's had a fine year and is matching up with Vincente Padilla in Game 2.) The Cards have had trouble hitting lefties all year, making the Dodgers throwing Randy Wolf and Clayton Kershaw in Games 1 and 2 respectively look very good. The Cards might have the edge at the plate, with Albert Pujols and Matt Holliday forming quite the duo but L.A. is loaded with young, underrated players looking to make an impact on a national stage. Manny Ramirez also looms large, but at this point, he's become more of an abstract idea than a hitter. "If Manny gets hot", "We've seen Manny do it before", "Manny is the X-Factor." Manny's hitting .219 in September. But...if he gets hot, we've seen him do it before and that makes him the X-Factor. Expect this one to go back and forth...maybe even some extra inning affairs. Ryan Franklin has been shaky in September and Big Bad John might still be seeing Matt Stairs stride up to the plate in his nightmares...in summnation, expect some heart pounding 9th innings. Ultimately, I see the Cards Big 2 of Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright being able to lead the team to the neccessary three wins...but it ain't gonna be easy.





I hate Halloween. Columbus Day means nothing to me. And my sister has reached the age where he birthday doesn't really excite anyone (26? Call me when you're 30, Jess.) All I've got this October is playoff baseball. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Expect the next few weeks of the Shore Sports Report to be jam-packed with everything you need for October baseball. Expect arguments. Expect analysis. Expect everyone under the sun to give their two cents. Because this is beyond sports talk radio...


This is playoff baseball.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Week 4: The Holy Grail Draws Near(er)

Here we are folks...After making the cardinal mistake of putting faith in both Jim Zorn AND Seneca Wallace in one week (its a wonder I get paid to talk sports), my 9-7 record puts me at a season record of 23-24. I'm no math wizard, but that puts me at one measely game under .500. As it stands, The Shore Sports Report Standings look like this.

Joe: 27-20, with a winning percentage just a few percentage points ahead of Bill Parcells

Mike: 23-24, with a winning percentage just a few percentage points ahead of Dave Wannstedt.


Hmmm. Guess we know who the SSR expert is.

But I only trail by four games, and had I not backed the Wallace/Zorn express, I'd be over .500 and feel like a real man.

Also, just as an FYI, IF the Skins do not cover this week, I will never, ever pick the Redskins to cover again. Ever.

THIS IS THE WEEK! WE BELIEVE! OVER .500! IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING! WE ARE ALL WITNESSESS!


WEEK 4 PICKS:
Giants (-8.5) OVER CHIEFS
Titans (-3) OVER JAGUARS
PATRIOTS (-2) over Ravens
Bengals (-5.5) OVER BROWNS
REDSKINS (-7) OVER Buccaneers
TEXANS (-9) over Raiders
BEARS (-10) over Lions
COLTS (-10.5) over Seahawks
DOLPHINS (+2) over Bills
49ERS (-9.5) over Rams
Cowboys (-3) over BRONCOS
SAINTS (-7) over Jets
Chargers (+6.5) over STEELERS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
VIKINGS (-3.5) over Packers

Friday, September 25, 2009

The Quest for .500

Despite reaching the illustrious 8-8 mark last week, I remain 14-17 on the season. I'm slowly but surely starting to feel like Dick Jauron. And it doesn't feel good...here's hoping for a big week so I can un-Dick myself. That sounds completely awful.


WEEK 3 PICKS:
GIANTS (-6.5) over Bucs
Titans (+2.5) over JETS
TEXANS (-4) over Jaguars
EAGLES (-9) over Chiefs
RAVENS (-13.5) over Browns
Redskins (-6.5) over LIONS
Packers (-6.5) over RAMS
49ers (+7) over VIKINGS
PATRIOTS (-4) over Falcons
SEAHAWKS (+2) over Bears
Saints (-6) over BILLS
CHARGERS (-6) over Dolphins
BENGALS (+4) over Steelers
RAIDERS (+1.5) over Broncos
CARDINALS (-2.5) over Colts

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Panthers (+9) over COWBOYS
Over/Under: References to Size of Jerry-Tron: 5.5

I'm taking the over. The waaaay over.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Week 2 Picks

After a humiliating 6-9 showing in Week 1, its time to bounce back and stop treading on these sub .500 waters. Lets see what happens here...

WEEK 2 PICKS:
KANSAS CITY (-3) over Oakland
Houston (+7) over TENNESSEE
New England (-3.5) over NEW YORK
GREEN BAY (-9) over Cincinnati
DETROIT (+10) over Minnesota
New Orleans (-2) over PHILADELPHIA
ATLANTA (-6) over Carolina
WASHINGTON (-9.5) over St. Louis
Arizona (+3) over JACKSONVILLE
SAN FRANCISCO (-1) over Seattle
BUFFALO (-4.5) over Tampa Bay
Cleveland (+3) over DENVER
SAN DIEGO (-3) over Baltimore
Pittsburgh (-3) over CHICAGO
New York (+3) over DALLAS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Indianapolis (-3) over MIAMI

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Week One Picks

They may not be Goldielocks...But here are my Picks for Week 1.

TEXANS (-4) over Jets
GIANTS (-6.5) over Skins
FALCONS (-4) over Dolphins
RAVENS (-13) over Chiefs
PANTHERS (-2.5) over Eagles
BENGALS (-4.5) over Broncos
Vikings (-4) over BROWNS
COLTS (-7) over Jags
SAINTS (-13.5) over Lions
Cowboys (-5.5) over BUCS
CARDS (-6) over 49ERS
Rams (-8) over SEAHAWKS
PACKERS (-4) over Bears
PATS (-10.5) over Bills
Chargers (-9.5) over RAIDERS

Saturday, September 12, 2009

NFC PREVIEW (abridged)

Sorry devoted fan, but this one is going to be quick and dirty. The life of a blogger/radio host never stops, so unfortunately I don't have time to type out long winded and error-filled explanations for my probably incorrect predictions. I guess you'll just have to get by.


NFC EAST:
1. NEW YORK GIANTS
Take away any teams number 1 wideout late in the year and they are going to struggle. Doesn't matter if its Plaxico Burress, Larry Fitzgerald or Phil McConkey. Eli is going to elevate his WRs, the offensive line is the best in football, and the running game is elite...Ahmad Bradshaw is a better back than Derrick Ward. They have a second unit defensive line that would start on plenty of NFL teams. They may not have the best record, but this is the best team in football.

PREDICTION:
12-4

2. DALLAS COWBOYS
I was all over this team last for a lack of heart and fire. The window on the Romo/Phillips era is closing and I think the team is going to respond well. The defense should remain status quo but I feel the offense is going to really boom. With no T.O. or Jessica Simpson in his ear, Tony Romo will deliver his best season as a pro. Felix Jones' return means less carries for Marion Barber, but a far more explosive run game. You may not believe in Roy E. Williams as a primary wideout, but with Jason Witten and Martellus Bennett, Romo is going to have a unique blend of targets. Good Ol' Wade gets one more shot at the Lombardi Trophy.

PREDICTION:
11-5

3. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
Everyone and their grandmother is all over this team. I am not (I don't about my Grammie though). Their offense is chock full of weapons, but Westbrook can't stay on the field, Jeremy Maclin seemed to get lost at times in the preseason, and I don't know what to expect from Shady McCoy. The line will be able to keep Donovan McNabb upright, but the looming presence of Mike Vick and the fans (stupid) propensity to turn on him at the drop of a can of Chunky soup is going to mess with his head. The defense lacks the leadership its had over the past years with B-Dawk in Denver and the tragic loss of Jim Johnson. I'm not drinking the Eagles Kool-Aid.

PREDICTION:
9-7

4. WASHINGTON REDSKINS:
Ahh the Skins. I love what they did with their defense (adding Fat Albert and Brian Orakpo) and I'm not as down on Jason Campbell as everyone seems to be. Still, I don't believe Goofy Jim and his Fun Bunch will be a real factor in the NFC East. But THREE CHEERS FOR THEM FOR TRYING! HIP HIP HOORAY!

PREDICTION:
7-9


NFC NORTH
1. GREEN BAY PACKERS:
I AM drinking this Kool-Aid. I love Aaron Rodgers and he has quite the targets to throw to. I'm not a big fan of Ryan Grant, but with the nagging hamstring injury healed, added reliance on the passing game, and intriguing spell options (Brandon Jackson/Kregg Lumpkin), he should be alright. The real story is the defense. Bringing in Dom Capers to transition to the 3-4 was a brilliant move. The team seemed to adjust seamlessly in the offseason. The big reason the secondary was so awful last year was a lack of pressure by the front seven. If the 3-4 move helps that wound, Charlie Woodson and Al Harris will return to form. The offense is going to score a lot and the defense is going to be vastly improved. If Rodgers can lead some game-winning drives this year, this team is scary.

PREDICTION: 11-5

2. CHICAGO BEARS:
Jay Cutler's got a big mouth, but a bigger arm. The Windy City's favorite diabetic is going to help this offense immensely. The team will be able to lighten impressive rookie Matt Forte's load, which lowers the BUST risk on him quite a bit. The receivers may not look like much right now, but keep an eye on Cutler's old Vandy teammate Earl Bennett...plus safety blankets like the aforementioned Forte and emerging star Greg Olsen will make Cutler's life easier. The defense may not be like the Bears of old, but with a high powered for the first time in oh...ever, Da Bears are looking like a playoff team.

PREDICTION: 10-6

3. MINNESOTA VIKINGS:
The elephant in the room here is Brett Favre (i feel that's been said many, many times over the past few years). Its going to be surreal to see him in that lovely purple hue of the Vikings, but if its the healthy, motivated Favre Jets fans fell in love with, I think Minnesota fans will adjust just fine. The defense is tough and they have the best player in football in Adrian Peterson. Unfortunately for Vikes fans, Big Brett is already making excuses about his health before even taking a regular season snap. Except a Jekyll and Hyde season from Mr. Jekyll and Hyde himself.

PREDICTION: 10-6

4. DETROIT LIONS:
Love what they've done with the place. There's just so much unproven product here that they are nearly impossible to handicap. I like Stafford, love Megatron, and think Brandon Pettigrew is a dark horse ROTY candidate. Defensively, they added some talent with Julian Peterson and 2nd round steal Louis Delmas. Al Harris thinks they can win 8...Al's got his dreads tied too tight, but an improvement will be infinitely better than last season. And that's not hyperbole. Win 1 game, and its a mathematically infinite improvement.

PREDICTION: 3-13


NFC SOUTH:
1. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS:
The addition of Gregg Williams is going to work wonders for this defense. They still ain't the '85 Bears, but he will dial up aggressive and exotic defenses to help hide the fact that they don't have the greatest personnel. The offense is going to be scary good...Drew Brees is turning into Dan Fouts 2.0, with Sean Payton filling the Don Coryell role nicely. I don't buy the defense as a Super Bowl contending one, but I expect the Saints to improve enough on that side of the ball to win the division.

PREDICTION: 11-5

2. CAROLINA PANTHERS:
If this team had a man at QB, they'd be a Super Bowl contender. Great coaching, tough defense, excellent ground game, and a playmaker like Steve Smith running downfield. But the curious decision to extend the contract of noted bedwetter Jake Delhomme blows my mind and blows their shot at true contention.

PREDICTION: 9-7

3. ATLANTA FALCONS:
This is not any kind of indictment on Matty Ice (who I love...great poise, great arm, better nickname), but moreso on those around him. The passing game will be improved with the addition of Tony Gonzalez to go with Roddy White, but I expect a big decline from Mike Turner. A ton of carries last year may lead to some growing pains...he reminds me very much of former Falcs back (and dancer extraordinaire) Jamal Anderson. Outta nowhere huge year before settling back into relative "OK"-ness. Defensively, they are just too soft. I think this team is going in the right direction for the future, but they are about to hit a speed bump.

PREDICTION: 7-9

4. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS:
I know it won't happen, but I went through their schedule and couldn't find one victory. This team is going to be tragic. No one is even acknowledging the fact that Josh Freeman was taken in the first round. The story of Cadillac Williams' return is nice, but other than that. Yikes.

PREDICTION:
0-16 (I know it won't happen. But I'm illustrating a point here.)



NFC WEST:
1. ARIZONA CARDINALS:
Jeez! Have we ever seen a Super Bowl runner up more universally detested by the general public? The offense will continue to be high-powered and whether you like Beanie Wells or not, he's a better option than the Edge James we saw last year and former Richmond Spider Timmy Hightower. Ken Whisenhunt is going to try to lean more on the ground game, in hopes of keeping Kurt Warner from burning out. The defensive plain isn't good, but neither is any team in this division (yes, even my Seahawks.) There's too much talent here for a losing season, provided Kurt stays upright for 16 games.

PREDICTION: 10-6

2. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS:
I appreciate all of you folks picking them to the playoffs. Really, I do. Its sweet. Fact of the matter is...it probably won't happen. The Hassel-Back (clever) looks to be 100%, but one hit is all it will take for "The Troubles" to start again. With Walter Jones banged up and the rest of the line in a flux, that one hit is a-coming. Defensively, its hard not to like their LB corps. All talented, all under 26. Aside from that though, things aren't looking too hot. Marcus Trufant is starting the season on the PUP list and no other corner has really stepped up. Lawyer Milloy was added to bolster the safety corp, so there that is. The defensive line has nice young players (Brandon Mebane, Larry Jackson), but also some veterans who are either injury-prone or underachievers (Pat Kearney and Corey Redding respectively). I love their WRs this year...but my goodness does this run game stink. I'll tell you...if Greg Knapp gets them near the top of the league in rushing, bronze him and send him to Canton. Julius Jones might be the worst feature back in the league, Edge James' best days are behind him, and Justin Forsett is an unproven commodity. The 'Hawks are trending upwards, but don't shoot too high with them.

PREDICTION:
8-8

3. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS:
This team is a QB away. I like Mike Singletary's passion (and mooning abilities), Frank Gore and Glenn Coffee will form a nice RB1/RB2 combo, and if and when Michael Crabtree signs, he's going to be a stud WR in this league. On the other side, they have the best MLB in football (P-Willy) and are starting to surround him with capable help. Their QB situation is a mess though. Shaun Hill has the highest win percentage of any starting QB in the NFC, but you can shove that. Alex Smith is a bigger bust than Lendale's. Had this team gotten Kurt Warner, they and the Cards might have flip flopped spots. Keep your eye on them, but until they get a capable signal-caller, they aren't a real threat.

PREDICTION:
8-8

4. ST. LOUIS RAMS:
Ugh. 5 wins in the last 2 years. That's all you need to know. Marc Bulger looked terrible last year and the offensive line only got worse...so expect plenty of sacks, fumbles, and picks from Mr. Bulger. Steven Jackson seems poised for a bounce back year however, so they might not have to rely on Marcy Marc too much. Defensively, they have been a mess for a looong time, but new coach Steve Spaganulo aims to change that. They won't be good, but they'll nearly match their win total from the last two years combined.

PREDICTION:
4-12



PLAYOFFS:
3. GREEN BAY over 6. CHICAGO
5. DALLAS over 4. ARIZONA

DIVISIONAL ROUND:
3. GREEN BAY over 2. NEW ORLEANS
1. NEW YORK over 5. DALLAS

NFC TITLE GAME
1. NEW YORK over 3. GREEN BAY

SUPERBOWL:
NEW YORK over NEW ENGLAND


AWARDS:
MVP: Tom Brady, QB, New England
OPOTY: Drew Brees, QB, New Orleans
DPOTY: DeMeco Ryans, MLB, Houston
OROTY: Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Detroit
DROTY: Aaron Curry, OLB, Seattle
COTY: Mike McCarthy, Green Bay



There you have it folks. For the first time in about 24 years, I didn't pick San Diego/Seattle. That's a big step for me. Enjoy the football and don't forget about The Shore Sports Report, every M-F from 3-6pm on Fox Sports 1310/WOBM AM 1160.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

NFL Preview Blowout! Everything Must Go! PART 1

Everyone has that one thing that, in their mind, officially kicks off a certain time of year. The first time I hear "Feliz Navidad", its Christmas. The first time my father waxes melancholic about chocolate crosses, its Easter. The first time my Grammie calls my mother to review the pie list, its Thanksgiving (this also applies to the second time she calls, and the third, and the fourth, all separated by about 35 seconds). Tonight, I heard yet another one of those sounds that warms my heart...

That's right folks...announcers have referred to Pittsburgh QB Ben Roethlisberger as if he was an old drinking buddy or the titular rat of Michael Jackson ballad. "BEN" has taken the field...its football time.

Before we get into the full scale preview (and believe me...WE WILL.), here's a few quick hits on tonight's game.

-Roethlisberger is the shiftiest fat guy since Ernst Blofeld.
-I can't decide what's worse...The run game of the Steelers or the pass defense of the Titans.
-Hines Ward can't have in-between emotions. He's either smiling or crying. There is no middle ground with this man.
-Pittsburgh offensive line is going to be an issue. I, of course, said the same thing last year. So what do I know.
-The final score of the first NFL game of Joe and I's professional broadcasting career? 13 10. Coincidence? I think not.


With five quick hits, I have given you folks more from this game than Willie Parker and Rashard Mendenhall gave their fantasy owners combined, so I feel I've done my due diligence. Now its time to give you what you came for. I sense that look in your eye. You pretend you want to read about football. But you don't. You want a smoldering picture of the sexiest signal caller in New York football history. Don't lie. Its what you want. What you crave. What you desire. What you need. And who I am to deny you that?



My. Oh. My.


Goodness gracious. I am comfortably heterosexual but there is no denying the magnetism in that photo. But collect yourself, clean the fog off your computer screen and relax. Its business time.



MIKE KRENEK'S 2009 NFL PREVIEW PART I (The AFC Edition)
aka Where to Turn When You've Read ESPN, SI, Fox Sports and The Shore Sports Scoop and decided they just weren't inaccurate enough.


AFC EAST

1. New England Patriots
I know about Brady's knee injury. I know about the losses of key defensive components. I know they have running backs who are far more fun to talk about then to actually watch (Try saying BenJarvusGreenEllis three times fast). But I also know that Bill Belichick is on a mission. And so is Mr. Brady. When those two guys want something, they usually get it. I'd question any other team's ability to bounce back from such a big shift on the defensive side of the ball, but I respect the Man behind the Curtain far too much. This team is going to score a zillion points and while their defense will be nowhere near the league's best, the young guard (Jerrod Mayo, Brandon Meriweather and rookies Patrick Chung and Ron Brace) will blend well with the older guys (Ty Warren, Adalius Thomas, Shawn Springs) and do just enough on the defensive side of the ball. A big key to their defensive success however, will be Vince Wilfork. With Richard Seymour out of the picture, the big fella has to be the glue that keeps this thing together. Couple that with the fact that he's due for a big money contract in 2010, and you've got one hungry 300 pounder. Although I imagine a man of his proportions is oft hungry.

PREDICTION: 13-3


2. NEW YORK JETS:
Ah the Jets. Its been quite the rocky ride over the last few seasons for fans of Gang Green. I'm sure Gotham area hospitals have treated plenty of Jet fan whiplash over the past few winters. From "HE'S THE MAN-GENIUS! THIS IS THE GREATEST HIRE IN THE HISTORY OF ORGANIZED SPORTS! to "I HATE HIM! HE'S A MORON! WHAT AN ARROGANT BLOWHARD!" And who could forget Broadway Jett Favre's transformation from Savior to Stinker. But its all in the past now and a brand new day has begun in Jet land. A loud, brash, cocky, polarizing, and dangerously handsome day (which of those adjectives are meant for Mark Sanchez and which are for Rex Ryan...I'll let you decide). The Jets have their coach and quarterback and in my opinion, made the best choices in both cases. Love him or hate him, the players have taken to Rex Ryan and the man is a defensive genius. You may not love Mark Sanchez, but he has won over the coaches, the locker room, and suddenly confused 40 year male Jet fans. The Jets also have a potentially potent rushing game (provided everyone is happy) with Thomas Jones, Leon Washington and Shonn Greene. While Jones was the NFL's leading rusher last year, look for both Washington and Greene to get serious reps as the Jets feel like that twosome is the future of the ground game. The O-Line is very good and while the defense is far from complete, they do have a strong foundation for Ryan to build around. The two true keys here are the guys everyone is falling all over themselves for...Ryan and Sanchez. Did all the teams (Baltimore included) that passed on Ryan as their head coach see something the Jets did not or is he going to find the same measure of success as he did as a coordinator? Will the highly touted rook be able to handle the pressures of the quarterback position, the New York media, and playing the quarterback position in front of the New York media? He'll have to do it without a ton of downfield playmakers...after Jerricho Cotchery, TE Dustin Keller is the steadiest target Sanchez will have. A rough beginning of the schedule equals a worse record than last season but much more confidence in what's to come.

PREDICTION: 7-9


3. BUFFALO BILLS:
Someone please explain to me how Dick Jauron still has this job. Seriously. The man has gone 7-9 for the past 3,400 seasons. When did that become OK? The man started off 5-1 and proceeded to finish with a losing record. You know how many times that's happened in the history of the 16 game schedule. 3. In 31 years. 90% of people who voted in a poll for a Buffalo newspaper wanted him fired. Someone needs to put this guy away for elder abuse, because he is taking advantage of Ralph Wilson. Nevertheless, Tricky Dick's Bills added America's Sweetheart Terrell Owens in the off-season if for no other reason to make them relevant outside of Chris Berman's warped mind. Despite the addition of Mr. VH1, nothing about this Bills team stands out. Trent Edwards? He's ok. Their offensive line? Lost Jason Peters, but the unit isn't tragic. Marshawn Lynch is a dynamic and powerful back, but he's going to miss the first four games of the year, including road games at New England and Miami and the Saints coming into Orchid Park. Their pass rush was putrid last year and I'm not sure Aaron Maybin is the antidote. However...year in and year out, their return game is among the best in football! If that doesn't sum it up, nothing does.

PREDICTION: 7-9 (Breaking News: The sky is blue)



4. MIAMI DOLPHINS:
There seems to be a strong backlash against surprise playoff teams from last year. Pundits are clipping the wings of the Cards and Falcons and throwing those plastic six pack holders at the Phins. Count me among the litterbugs. Chad Pennington has never had back to back healthy, productive seasons and this team goes as Big Red goes. His incredible resurgence helped the Dolphins produce a historic turnaround from 1-15 to 11-5. It also masked the fact that as a whole, this team is staggeringly average. I think even the Tuna was surprised by the team's success. It seemed Pennington was added to keep the radio helmet warm until Chad Henne was ready to take over (also, is this the first QB combination both named Chad in NFL history. Maybe that's why I don't like this team.) Henne's ascension to the starting position may still take place on schedule. A much tougher slate plus the fact that the entire NFL will not look past them again equals a letdown for Phins fans. There are some nice pieces here...Ronnie Brown is a uniquely talented running back, Jake Long is a great offensive line anchor, and defensive end Kendall Langford opened some eyes last year. Other than that, I'm not sold on Miami's ability to be a serious AFC contender, East Division or otherwise.

PREDICTION: 6-10



AFC NORTH:
1. PITTSBURGH STEELERS:
I love the way this team goes about their business. Coaching stability, good drafts, strong defense. The Steelers have long been a pinnacle of the NFL and to me, deserve the mantle of "America's Team." That being said, they are the reason for a serious epidemic in the NFL...Unproven Coachitis. When they brought Mike Tomlin in as the 3rd head coach in franchise history, there were more arched eyebrows than a Dwayne Johnson impersonation contest. However, his tremendous success with the job has encouraged the rest of the league to take a flyer on coaches who are younger than many of their players. Check out Number 4 in Joe Giglio's excellent preview blog for a further investigation. What can be expected on the NFL's version on Patient Zero this year? Having watched them play one game, I'll steal a phrase I've heard from many a young lass in my life time...I like them, but I don't LIKE LIKE them. Big Ben is a fantastic QB, statistics aside. Proven winner, tremendous leader, good arm, good feet, good vision etc. The defense is always among the league's best and this year will be no different. However, they are sorely lacking in the trenches on the offensive side of the ball and lack elite playmakers at the RB position. While their schedule is markedly easier than last season, there are a few toughies. That said, I expect Roethlisberger to improve statistically this year as Bruce Arians realizes he flat out can't dial up run plays in big spots and the defense to do enough to keep them among the league's elite.

PREDICTION: 11-5

2. BALTIMORE RAVENS:
A real shocker to everyone outside of The Charm City last season, Beltway Joe and the Ravens won't be sneaking up on anyone more. But chances are they won't have to. We all know about the defense. Haloti Ngata is about to become the world's most difficult to pronounce household name, they have two Hall of Fame caliber players wreaking havoc (Ed Reed and Ray Lewis) and also feature tons of other frightening forces on the defensive side of the ball. Provided Greg Mattison uses his personnel as similar to Rex Ryan as he can, this defense will be yield less points that an average O's pitcher in a lot of games. (RIM SHOT) Nothing about their offense will change from last season...Willis McGahee's days as a feature back are gone, but Ray Rice's are just beginning. They also have punishing chubster LeRon McClain to add another dimension to their backfield. I also love the addition of center Matt Birk to this team. The average age of the O-Line (Birk aside) is 23.5 years old, so his presence will be helpful both on and off the field. If the running game does have success, Flacco can again enjoy another season of "game managing". That's kind of become a dirty word in some circles, but we've seen Super Bowls won with such behavior...just ask the Dilf. Truthfully, Flacco really reminds me of his division rival Big Ben. Similar players with similarly run orginazations. If Flacco can also find that late game magic like his fellow AFC Northerner, he will also have similar finger jewelry very very soon.

PREDICTION: 10-6


3. CINCINNATI BENGALS:
After discussing two of the classiest, best run orginizations in football...its unfortunately time to talk about the opposite....I'M JUST KIDDING BENGALS FANS! You know I love ya! Actually, you don't know that. You can't know that. Because I didn't sell out my comment box, this blog is blacked out in your area. Sorry guys. But seriously folks, this Bengals team has got to be on of the colossal disappointments of the past 5 years. When they captured the AFC North title in 2005, folks in Ohio were ready for a return to the glory of the Ickey Woods/Boomer Esiason/Stanley Wilson/Stanley Wilson's bathtub days. Unfortunately, it all went to hell when Carson Palmer tore up his knee. Marvin Lewis returns AGAIN and is keeping his entire staff in tact, including an offensive coordinator whose unit ranked last in total offense. That number will change with the (hopeful) return of Carson Palmer and the expanded role of Cedric Benson. However, the receiving corp took a serious blow with T.J. Houshmandzadeh's depature to Seattle. Chad Ochenta y Cinco seems more focused on Tweeting than he is preparing for Sundays and their number two receiver once fired a gun while wearing his own jersey outside a club. Bengals football ladies and gents! The offensive line is also a big time sore spot, especially with the injury to first round pick Andre Smith. The defensive line is a consistent disappointment and the secondary isn't much better. I do like their young LB corps...Keith Rivers and Rey Maualuga are certainly building blocks and nice compliments to Dhani Jones and his snappy bowties. Their offense is going to be pretty good, but their defense will struggle.

EDIT: Its been brought to my attention that I failed to mention the addition of Lavernaues Coles. This is a large oversight. He adds veteran leadership. He adds a strong possession recievers element. He also adds no wins. Sorry Mr. Hudson.

PREDICTION:
6-10


4. CLEVELAND BROWNS:
I have only informed my family of my in-depth preview of the Cleveland Browns. I feel it gives me a competitive edge over other bloggers. Sorry, Browns fans...but I'm just worlds smarter and more talented then every other blogger in the world, despite the fact that I have nothing to show for it except an entire city that despises me.

PREDICTION:
4-12


AFC SOUTH
1.INDIANAPOLIS COLTS:
Plenty of doom and gloom surrounds this club. There's questions on the offensive line, questions on the defensive side of the ball, and the great Tony Dungy has rode off into the sunset. All of these factors have lead plenty of people to get way down on the Colts. They all seem to be forgetting one factor...one of the greatest quarterbacks (and five heads) of all time...Peyton Manning. They also seem to have forgotten that he has a better offense than he did last year (a 12-4 MVP season). Proud RBC grad Donnie Brown is going to be a marvelous addition to this team, helping to spell the lackluster Joseph Addai in the run game. While Marvin Harrison won't be around, their wide recievers may very well be better than they were last year too. Reggie Wayne is an elite level talent, Anthony Gonzalez is going to have a break out season, Dallas Clark is so underrated he's borderline overrated and I'm expecting a solid contribution from 4th rounder Austin Collie in the slot. Their O-Line will be much improved with both Jeff Saturday and Ryan Lilja back full-time. LT Tony Ugoh has another year under his belt and his consistency will improve. I also think they are underrated defensively...If Marlin Jackson returns to form, he and Kelvin Hayden are a great cornerback pair, Bob Sanders might be the best defensive player in the NFL when he's on the field, and while their defensive line and linebackers are shaky, I think the added beef and return of Gary Brackett respectively will help them very much. If Jimbo Caldwell just uses the ssme blueprint as Tony Dungy, we could very well be talking about the Colts becoming the second team to win a Super Bowl in Year 1 of the Post-Dungy era.

PREDICTION: 12-4

2. HOUSTON TEXANS
The sexiest of sexy picks. Everyone and their brother is all over these team...except my brother. But I guess that's beside the point. This team is LOADED talent wise. Defensively, they are the most underrated unit in the NFL. DeMeco Ryans and Mario Williams are All-Pro talents. When Brian Cushing gets healthy, he looks to be a serious impact player and many within the organization believe Amobi Okoye will have a bounce back year. Offensively, they are super powered. Matt Schaub is a potential 4,000 yard passer and he has quite the crew to throw to...the 2nd best WR in game Andre Johnson, the suddenly emergent Kevin Walter and solid TE Owen Daniels. Their much maligned offensive line is finally beginning to improve...Coach Gary Kubiak was able to start the same five offensive linemen for an entire season for the first time in franchise history and with another year of the zone blocking system, the unit should improve their run blocking for dynamic sophomore playmaker Steve Slaton. They are not without their flaws however...the secondary is shaky at best and while Schaub is a potential 4,000 yard passer, he needs to keep his rear end on the field, especially because their backup this year is Ol' Back of the End Zone Danny Orlovsky. If Schaub can actually play in 16 games this year (I'll even take 15 Matty), this is a playoff team.

PREDICTION: 10-6

3. TENNESSEE TITANS:
Loved 'em last year. Not so much this year. Even though they kept Pittsburgh bottled up, we saw the impact of Albert Haynesworth's absence on Thursday night. Their pass rush was non existent in big spots even against Pittsburgh's shoddy o-line. They still are fairly solid defensively with key contributors with Hall of Famer Keith Bulluck heading up a linebacking group that also includes Stephen Tulloch and David Thorton. Their secondary is excellent...Cortland Finnegan is always a threat to make a big play and few teams have a safety combination as good as Chris Hope and Michael Griffin. Depth is an issue however...there is no experience outside of the starting trio in the linebacker corps, and their sub-package players are shaky at best. Offensively, their fate lies in the hands of Kerry Collins...The Titans gave the veteran QB a two year extension after his conservative style boded well for the former Oilers. His backup, Vince Young, is still one of the most intriguing players in the NFL. Will he ever find his Longhorn form? Will he be passed on the depth chart by Patrick Ramsey? Will he have anymore midnight, loaded gun drives or should I say "trips to his buddy's house for wings?" Who knows? Barring an injury, Kerry is their guy this year. If first round pick Kenny Britt can develop, the Titans have their first go-to guy in a long, long time. Their run game is quite potent, with speedster/star of District 9 and Land-Whale Lendale (my pick for a breakout year...big guy wants a contract...but word of warning to the team that signs him...Break out the elastic waists and lock up the China Buffets.) I just don't see Kerry Collins being able to replicate last season's essentially mistake free season despite a great offensive line. Add that to a non-existant pass rush and a bust warning on the running game (Potential sophomore slump for Johnson and well...Lendale White's bust.)

PREDICTON: 8-8

4. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
We've come to the bastard child on the National Football League. No one wants to go to their games. No one wants to play for their team. Honestly, who thought this was a good idea? Jacksonville was granted a franchise before Baltimore, St. Louis, Memphis, Los Angeles, Toronto, London, Mexico City, Toms River, and Venus. All of these would be more viable markets. Nevertheless, they exist and I am forced to write about them. Offensively...well they're the Jaguars. I'm not feeling the same Mo-Jo mojo as many others, but the little fella is certainly a weapon on the offensive side of the ball. I worry how he will hold up with a full workload. Fragile Fred Taylor has packed his bags and gone to a relevant team, so unless 7th rounder Rashad Jennings can step up, Jones-Drew will be hanging a ton of carries on his small frame. It will be a heavy burden for him...the offensive line is either A. inexperienced (Eugene Monore, Eben Britton), old (Tra Thomas), or plain mediocre (Mo Williams) and the passing game will continue to be nonexistent. The team made a mistake giving David Garrard the contract they did and his giant step backwards last season is definitely starching the collars of the 16 Jaguars fans left. They attempted to bolster the WR corps, but Torry Holt is past his prime and the rookies (Mike Thomas, Jarret Dillard, Tiquan Underwood) might not be ready for prime time. The have built a team in the image of the Steelers and the Ravens...except for the fact that their defense stinks. John Henderson struggled without Marcus Stroud by his side and the young defense ends they invested so much into (Derrick Harvey and Quentin Groves) looked like they flat out can't hack it. The linebackers are in a state of flux and besides Rashean Manthis there isn't anyone who stands out in the secondary. The pressure on Jack Del Rio is heavier than my co-host's man crush on him. Both will be over this time next year. When he's unemployed.

PREDICTION: 5-11


AFC WEST
1. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
The only team worth a damn in this division. San Diego had an abysmal beginning of the season but behind Philip Rivers and the humiliating collapse on the Denver Broncos, the Super Chargers made a great playoff run. They also are anticipating the return of Shawne "Lights Out" "Three's Company Four's Better" Merriman. His return will not only mean a pass rushing force in Ron Rivera's defense but also the elevation of every one around him. Love him, hate him, strip and threaten to sleep with one of his entourage, Merriman is a big time player and if his knee is healthy, watch out. Their offense is also incredibly potent. Ol' Norv has one of the best offensive minds in the game and he's working with one of the best quarterbacks in Rivers. I sense a resurgence on the ground from this team. If LaDaninan Tomlinson can find the gas for one more good year, it will not only help the team tremendously, it will also allow Darren Sproles to return to his waterbugging ways. Like MJD in Jacksonville, Sproles is not an every down type of back, but can be a weapon if used correctly. Vincent Jackson has his toe in the pool of greatness, but needs to have a bust out season. Antonio Gates is fully healthy and playing for a contract. In short, this offense is good. Its damn good. Their biggest issue is the secondary...they posted the 31st ranked passing defense in the NFL. If Antonio Cromartie's struggles last season were really due to an injury, his health will certain help matters. With Rivera at the helm, this defense will find a way to accenuate its strengths and hide its weaknesses. The same can be said for the offense under Turner. For all the hell I give him, Norvie's won 2 AFC West crowns and gone 3-2 in the playoffs during his tenure. Time to get over the hump, Norval.

PREDICTION: 14-2

2. OAKLAND RAIDERS
I can't believe I just typed that. Is that a testament to the weakness of the division or the Raiders being actually competitive. You decide. I think its a little bit of both. I think the Raiders running game is going to be pretty good. Darren McFadden is the real deal, and with Michael Bush and Justin Fargas to spell him, he might be this year's Michael Turner. JaMarcus Russell continues to be a big enigma. He's got a hell of an arm, but can he develop into a solid, consistent QB? He has speedy options in Johnnie Lee Higgens and rookie reach Darius Heyward Bey and a TE with good hands and size in Zach Miller. In the trenches, this team has become surprisingly apt over the years. Robert Gallery, long labeled a bust, is emerging as one of the top interior linemen in the game. The rest of the line is not going to make anyone forget about the Giants, but will hold their own enough to open slight holes for the lightning quick McFadden and Fargas. And what of the defense? Frankly...its not very good. Talented running backs carve them up, hence the trade for Richard Seymour. The Raiders view him as the catalyst for a drastic improvement for the ground defense. Unfortunately, no one told Big Rich that and he still has not reported to Oak Town. Seymour or otherwise, this team will struggle to stop the run. The linebackers don't provide much help with the run game either...Kirk Morrison and Thomas Howard are very talented in pass coverage, but aren't exactly top of the line run blitzers. They also possess the very best corner in the NFL and the man I will name my first son after (Nnamdi Asomugha Krenek has a lovely ring). In fact, The As-Man is so talented, no one even throws his way. That puts a lot of pressure on the corner 2 position, which was filled surprisingly well by Chris Johnson. They have a big time question mark at safety the man who made Mel Kiper Jr. cry in April, Mike Mitchell. He's a big hitter, but is ready for the speed of the NFL? That remains to be seen. A man who clearly has adjusted to the speed of the NFl is head coach Tom Cable. Sometimes he's more uncomfortable to watch then Jim Carrey's version, but The Cable Guy certainly has a passion (and a vicious right hook.) The team has more question marks then the Riddler's jumpsuit (We're just a "Truman Show" reference away from the triple threat.) but there is enough talent to make Raider fans believe...even with the omnipresent Al Davis looming large. He's Oakland's very own version of Christof (Bingo!)

PREDICTION: 7-9


3. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS
Oh boy, now its getting fun. The basement of this division is more frightening than John Wayne Gacy's. The Chiefs gave the heave-ho to Herm and welcomed in Todd Haley after a horrific 2008 season. I must admit I like the direction of this club. They brought in New England GM Scott Pioli to be the architect of what they hope to be a competitive team. If wishes were fishes, the whole world would be an ocean, Chief fans. Honestly though, I think Pioli is going to build them into a legit team in the next few years. Pioli added three veterans to the linebacker squad in Mike Vrabel, Monty Beisel and Zach Thomas, in hope that they would not only produce on the field, but also motivate the youngsters. While there are some young pieces to get pumped about (Glenn Dorsey, Tyson Jackson) by and large this defense is not going to be very good. Offensively, they are intriguing. Haley was the offense coordinator for a team that was able to make up for a swiss cheese defense for a Super Bowl run. He also had Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin. I do like his agressiveness as a play caller and think he was the right choice for KC. They have to be patient though. Patient with Matt Cassel, whose 11-5 record as a starter may be a product of the Foxboro Factory. Patient with Dwayne Bowe, who is a star in the making but may suffer some growing pains. Patient with Haley, whose firey shtick wears thin on some veterans. Patient with Pioli/the defense, as he tries to get the right guys for the right system. And patient with me, for writing sentences about them with out subjects.

PREDICTION: 4-12

4. DENVER BRONCOS
Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. What can be said about this team? Josh McDaniels is the new egomaniacal branch on the Belichick tree. Kyle Orton is not the answer at QB. The defense stinks. Brandon Marshall would rather practice punting than practice WR. As much as I love Knowshawn Moreno, he's not going to have much to work with. Take everything I wrote about Kansas City and reverse it. Because I have not liked ONE MOVE this team made this offseason. From hiring McDaniels, to trading Cutler, to trading this year's first round pick to Seattle, and now potentially giving an extension to the next headliner on VH1's Divas Live! God bless you Champ Bailey. You deserve better then this.

PREDICTION:
3-13



AFC PLAYOFFS:
3. Indianapolis OVER 6. Houston

5. Baltimore OVER 4. Pittsburgh

DIVISIONAL ROUND:
1. San Diego OVER 5. Baltimore
2. New England OVER 3. Indianapolis

AFC TITLE GAME:
2. New England OVER 1. San Diego

AFC CHAMPION:
New England


I honestly wrote this thing out with every single different team, save for Houston, winning the AFC. Its going to boil down to matchups. Ultimately, New England's passing offense will be too much for both Indianapolis and San Diego to handle. Expect both of those games to be shootouts. But if New England were to draw, say Baltimore...the Ravens might be able to pull off the upset. I'm just so confused and near tears over who to pick in the AFC. I need a break.


Keep your eyes peeled for the NFC preview, which will be out tonight. Or don't. Whatever man. Its your call.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Hunt for Red October

Over the past month or so, National League baseball talk has revolved around three stories...Did Torre's Dodgers peak too early? Part in parcel with that, we can't get enough of Jim Tracy's Purple Reign in Colorado. The biggest story around these parts since July however, has been the defending champions. From the moment the Phillies acquired one Clifton Phifer Lee, they've been bathing in anointing oils. "Cliff Lee and Cole Hamels is an unbeatable 1-2 punch!" "No one can shut down this lineup!" "Joe Blanton has 1.12 ERA in night games played in cities with a Republican Senator!" Those points? Completely justified. Cliff Lee has continued the trend of AL to NL dominance, Cole Hamels is still basking in the glow of his superhuman '08 postseason, The back end of the rotation has been excellent and the lineup is the best outside of the Bronx. But the Phillies are not without their warts...While Cole Hamels' postseason was indeed Beckett-esque, his regular season has been more Pavano than anything. 7-8, 4.52 ERA doesn't exactly scream "unbeatable." J-Roll has also been performing well below his expected level...but those two "warts" are the kind on your finger...No big deal, not too embarrassing...manageable warts if you will. But there is one oozy, unsightly wart on this Phillies team...the kind of wart that you have to tell a significant other about before the relationship gets "too serious." The baseball VD that I'm referring to is, of course, Brad Lidge. The reason that the Phillies ended their championship drought in '08 could very well be the reason they begin another one this year. More frightening than his 7+ ERA is the apparent apathy taken towards the constant 9th inning dropping of the pants.

But this blog is not about the Philadelphia Phillies. Its not about the Los Angeles Dodgers, the Colorado Rockies, the San Francisco Giants or the Florida Marlins. Its about the team that I feel has an equal, if not BETTER, chance than any of those clubs to rep the Senior Circuit in the Fall Classic. This blog is about the St. Louis Cardinals. The Cards have quietly climbed to 74-54, putting them within striking distance of the NL's best record. They have quietly built a 9 game cushion on the disappointing Cubbies, which is currently the largest lead in all of baseball. They quietly went out and made a trade that has been just as helpful as the Phils' for Lee. Matt Holliday's star was dwindling in the cellar of the AL West until John Mozeliak made a surprising trade and brought him to The Gateway City. Holliday's response to the move...blistering. Hitting at .386 clip with 6 HRs and 28 RBIs, he has provided the offensive help so richly desired by Albert Pujols. And what of Albert? The very best player in baseball has not disappointed this season. Many have said that El Hombre as reached the hallowed world of "Could Be Every Year MVP", but with the way he's hit this year, that "could" is becoming a "will" as it pertains to 2009. The Cards also have a ton of talent up and down their lineup...Ankiel, Ludwick, DeRosa, Rasmus and Molina might not look like Murderer's Row, but combined with the aforementioned Big Two, its a lineup that can win on any given night.

We know the Cards can hit. We also know that the Phillies can hit better. As good as the St. Louis lineup is, the Phillies lineup could outslug them 9 times out of 10. The Dodgers post a similar lineup that many would argue is just as good as St. Louis'. But say it with me now folks...Pitching Wins Championships. Time and time again, that adage is repeated. The question than becomes...who has the best pitching in the National League? We've heard all about the one-two punch of Lee and Hamels, the young guns Billingsley and Kershaw out in Hollywood, and Lincecum and Cain (Li'l Curt and Randy) in San Fran. I submit for your approval the numbers a one-two punch just as good as the Giants' (in my opinion, the best of the Big Three).

15-7, 2.50 ERA. 14-3, 2.16 ERA.

Those are Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter's numbers respectively. Better than Lee/Hamels, better than Billingsley/Kershaw, and just as good as Lincecum/Cain. The much maligned Joel Pinero, who entered the season as a laughable number 3 starter, has emerged as the best "3rd option" in the National League. In fact, the Pride of Rio Piedras has had better pillar to post numbers than Cole Hamels! The Cards 'pen has also been better than the rest. Ryan Franklin has been the best closer in the National League and winner of the '09 Graeme Lloyd Beauty Pageant Trever Miller has been unreal, what with his sub 1 WHIP and miniscule ERA and I swear, if John Smoltz can continue his shocking success, Dave Duncan should be placed on the MLB's "Banned Substances" list.

The team I am most reminded of when I see this Cards squad is the Diamondbacks of '01. Two Cy Young candidates at the front end, a MVP performer in the lineup, good complimentary players, and a solid bullpen. Except that this Cardinal team is BETTER in 5 crucial spots. Better star. Better lineup. Better pen. Better back of the rotation. Better manager. Its incredible to think that about this unassuming Cards team that many wrote off before the year, but it is, in my opinion, true. And I'm on the radio. So it must be.

Best player in baseball? Check. Red hot sidekick? Check. Good complimentary players? Check. A pair of Cy Young worthy aces? Check. Good back-end rotation help? Check. Lights out pen? Check. Experienced (and Hall of Fame bound) skipper? Check. Looking over my shopping list, it seems that perhaps there is a National League squad set to make this a Red October. But its not the one you thought it was. But keep talking repeat, keep talking Torre vs Girardi, keep talking about the incredible story of the Rockies. The Cardinals would want it that way. They'd prefer to ascend to the top of the league the same way they've been climbing all year. Quietly.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Things Go Better With Coke

As we draw closer to the deadline, a lot of Yankee fans (and fans of “sellers”) are abuzz with talk of the Bombers rotation. Everything seems a-ok in the Bronx right now, but Brian Cashman is ripping out the four hairs he has left as thinks about the upcoming months as it pertains to his rotation. Some may think this is lunacy, as the Yanks are fresh off of an 8 game winning streak and seem to be building up Big Mo (not the Rivera variety) heading into their upcoming series with Boston. C.C. is pitching like an ace, A.J. Burnett is healthy and dealing, Joba seems to have finally put it together as a starter, Andy Pettite is up and down but has scads of pennant race experience, and Sergio Mitre impressed in his first start of the year. In Bullpen Land, things are even better as Big Mo (the Rivera variety) hasn’t lost a beat and Phillip Hughes has transformed into circa ’96 Rivera, giving them they luxury of a 7 inning ball game. Then why the unrest? Two words.

Kei. Igawa.

Currently, the Pride of Oarai is the Yankees technical “6th Starter.” Cashman knows this (I would hope), and as he watches Chamberlain’s much publicized “innings limit” draw closer and closer, sleeping at night becomes more and more difficult. What will happen when Joba hits that magic number? Will the organization cast aside the “Joba Rules” that have plagued the young man throughout his career (and sold a ton of shirts)? It doesn’t seem likely. Then the logical move would be a trip back to the bullpen for the former Sooner. But who then inherits his spot in the rotation? Hughes? Certainly not. The Yanks can’t sacrifice the dominance Hughes has brought to the 8th inning role. “The Acesavior” Alfredo Aceves? No way. He too has flourished in his bullpen role. They both have been valuable cogs in the Yankees’ recent success. The Wanger has been the complete opposite of “reliable” this season, so there’s no reason to even consider him. The top of the farm system is barren…the aforementioned Igawa tops the list of potential call-ups followed by a group of pitchers with little to no experience facing Major League hitters. A trade then? Perhaps the Jay Buhner trading Yanks of old would do such a thing, but the top line starters would cost far too much and the “back end” guys like Aaron Harang and Doug Davis aren’t exactly setting the world on fire. So what to do? I have a suggestion. There’s a guy in the Yankees bullpen right now that has been performing very well. A guy with starting experience. A guy whose production, while a plus, could be easily replaced by a guy like Joba, who we’ve all seen been shut-down out of the ‘pen.

That guy is Phil Coke. So far this season, Coke has been a quality reliever for the Yanks. After some early struggles, he’s settled down to the tune of a 3.67 ERA, a sub 1 WHIP, and K/BB ratio of 34/14. He has not been dominant by any stretch and has seemingly struggled in recent appearances, but has been by no means dreadful. By the same token, he has been far from “invaluable.” As my buddy Doug reminded me today, Coke has never started a game for the “big club”, but has started 77 games in the Yankees minor league system. He was far from “untouchable” as a minor league starter, but was impressive enough that he had been touted as a future part of the Yankees rotation until the team required a left handed reliever. The guy has good, solid stuff and has pitched over 550 innings all total in his professional career. Plus, a Joba/Coke switch allows you to get Chamberlain into the bullpen, where we know he can be dominant (look to his pre-midge 2007 season for proof) without sacrificing Aceves or Hughes. The prospect of an Aceves/Hughes/Joba/Rivera bullpen is quite tantalizing,especially when you consider that Damaso Marte is on his way back to the club. You also do not need to lease prospects like Austin Jackson, Jesus Montero, Zach McAllister etc. to get a guy like Jarrod Washburn from the Seattle Mariners. Washburn has been near-elite this season, but posts a career postseason ERA of 4.91 and for his career against the Red Sox, he is under .500 with a plus 4 earned run average. Many doubt his ability to pitch against the AL’s best and his performances against the Yanks and Angels this season seem to prove that.

I’m not saying that Phil Coke will slide into the rotation and be the second coming of Whitey Ford. But he does provide a “safe”, cost-free option when the magical innings limit is reached by Mr. Chamberlain. The Yanks would probably still have to go out and get a low rent starter (the aforementioned Harang or Davis, perhaps Ian Snell of Pittsburgh who has been lights-out since his demotion due to depression) for the stretch run or to be a postseason fourth starter. The best plan would be to say “Joba Rules be damned! This man is a starter!” But if the Bombers decide to send Joba to the ‘pen, my advice to Brian Cashman and the Steinbrenner boys is to order up a Coke. You know what they say…Things go better with Coke.

Friday, July 10, 2009

The Guy Who Pees on His Hands?

Baseball fans love to look at "the old days" through nostalgia colored glasses. Everyone from grandpa right own down to junior loves to talk about the players they saw "growing up" and how much better the game was then. Unfortunately for my generation and younger, the players I saw "growing up" were primarily synthetic...chemically enhanced sluggers with muscles like the Ultimate Warrior and tempers shorter than Lord Littlebrook. I will admit, however, I am guilty of doing just that. Despite the cloud that hangs over "my generation's" ballplayers, I fondly reflect on the days of Junior, Edgar, and The Big Unit. As is always the case, the grass is always green 10 years ago. Despite the fact that (even at the age of 9) I recognized that Cal Ripken Jr. was kind of a jerk, I'll never forget my father calling me downstairs to watch the Iron Man break the Streak on ESPN. I can vividly remember being 10 years old and sitting in awe as the '96 Yankees did the impossible. The only times in my life I woke up early for school was September of 1998, when I would sprint downstairs to the TV to see if McGwire or Sosa had smacked another tater. Yes, the "olden days" were the good ones...a simpler time if you will. But as the celebrated philosopher Joel once said "The Good Ol' Days weren't all that good". Mitchell Reports, Canseco books, and testimonies have cast the shadow of doubt on many of those far-gone days of youth. I desperately cling to the idea that none of my beloved M's were using...I've never seen Griffey, Buhner or Martinez's name on one of those dreaded "LISTS", which helps me sleep at night. However, that does not mean I must destroy my nostalgia glasses. I can still put them on and take a gander at 90s baseball...I just have to look harder to find the special ones. The "clean" ones. The players who I may have not been appreciating at the time...mainly because what 11 year old is thinking about OPS or outfield assists. Just the other day, I slipped ol' frames on and found myself a diamond in the rough. A player whose name isn't exactly rolling off the tongues of baseball fans in '09...perhaps because we haven't seen his name in connection with the Cream or the Clear. No, the only performance enhancer this man was using was his own urine...I'm talking about Moises Alou.

Perhaps you’re saying MOISES ALOU?!? THE GUY WHO PEED ON HIS HANDS?!? THE GUY WHO COULDN'T PLAY 3 GAMES IN THE '08 METS?!? WHO CARES ABOUT HIM!...If you are saying that, I'd ask you to please stop shouting...people probably think you are crazy. If you are indeed shouting, read on. But perhaps you are not yelling these things...perhaps you too remember Felipe's son fondly. If you are one of those, I invite you to take a walk down memory lane with me. Don't forget those glasses though...

Moises Alou was far from a flashy player. At 6'3, 190 pounds, he lacked the imposing Popeye-esque figure we became accustomed to during his era. Despite being picked 2nd overall by Pittsburgh in 1986, he didn't exactly burst onto the scene in a "major market"...called up by the Pirates in 1990 and almost immediately moved to one of the biggest baseball cities of all time, Montreal, as a faceless "player to be named later." It seemed Moises was on his way to being just a blip on the baseball radar...another member of the storied Alou family if nothing else. 2 years later however, the fates converged in Quebec, and Moises was called up to play left field for the Expos and their new manager Felipe Alou (or as Moises called him "Dad"). 341 At-Bats later, Alou finished 2nd in the National League Rookie of the Year voting, after batting .282 with 9 HRs and 56 RBIs. As the years progressed, so too did Moises...getting better and better with each passing year. The 1994 season was particularly noteworthy...an impressive .339 batting average, coupled with 22 HRs and 79 RBIs. Even more impressive than the numbers was the fact that it seemed like FINALLY baseball in Montreal was becoming relevant. The 'Spos were flying high and looking like the team to beat in the National League...until the season came to a screeching halt. The infamous strike left many casualties in its wake, none greater perhaps than the state of baseball at Olympic Stadium. The Expos were left stranded 34 games over .500 and Alou finished 3rd in a tainted MVP ballot. Baseball returned, but the Expos (and Alou) never got the taste of October baseball they were certainly going to have in '94. In the winter of '96, Alou signed a contract with another losing organization...the Florida Marlins. The Marlins had only played 3 seasons with nary a winning record to speak of. At the outset of the '97 season, not many gave the Fish a second thought. But, without warning, the Men in Teal became For Real, in large part due to Alou’s career high in HRs (23) and his first 100 RBI season. The Marlins charged all the way to the World Series, where they shocked the heavily favored Cleveland Indians in 7 games. Alou hit the cover off the ball during the Fall Classic, belting 3 homers and swinging to the tune of a .321 clip. The Marlins were improbable champs and Alou was their improbable star. However, owner Wayne Huizenga did his best Rachel Phelps impression (hopefully Jim Leyland had a nude cardboard cut-out of him in the locker room during the '97 run) and completely gutted the team, auctioning off his stars to the highest bidder...Alou was shipped to Houston in return for future stars Manuel Barrios, Mark J. Johnson, and Oscar Henriquez.

Alou's stint in Houston had its high highs and low lows...The highest of highs came in his debut season as a 'Stro. The 1998 Astros club is destined to forever be on a "Prime 9" of "Best Teams to Never Win a World Series." Stocked top to bottom with All-Star level talent (even before the 11th hour trade for Randy Johnson),Houston, racked up 102 victories. Our hero had an incredible season, posting an average of .321 to go with his 38 HRs and 124 RBIs. His season has been largely overlooked by history, thanks to the Baseball Saving Maris Chase presented by BALCO. Unfortunately for Houston (and everyone really) the San Diego Padres improbably blew them away in the ALDS (in large part because neither Alou, Bagwell, nor Biggio batted over .200...just saving you the trouble of bringing that up in the comments section.)

'99 however, was marred by a treadmill accident unlike any since the Saget-Era America's Funniest Home Videos. Alou tore his ACL and missed the whole season. He'd return for the final 2 years of his contract with Houston and didn't miss a beat...two Top 20 MVP finishes, a .342 average, 57 HRs, and 222 RBIs (combined, he had the type of season Alex Rodriguez used to have on my MLB '99 game for Playstation.)

His next stop was Chicago for three seasons, where, despite injuries, he was able to put forth an average of 25 dingers, 86 ribbies and a .283 clip. Admittedly a step down from his days in Texas (an All-Star appearance and a Top 15 MVP finish notwithstanding) but, as is always the case, his team enjoyed success, coming one Steve Bartman error away from the Fall Classic.

Alou's career was clearly winding down at this point. He headed to the Giants to play for his father one more time, but injuries and a crummy team made the stint largely forgettable. So just to refresh your memory...he hit over .300 both years and was selected to his 6th All-Star game in 2006.

When the 40 year old Alou left San Fran for Shea, many thought his career had reached that embarrassing "Jerry Rice the Seahawk, Gaylord Perry the Mariner" stage. He came out of the gate strong however in 2007, batting .318 in his first month. A torn quad muscle knocked him out til August, and it seemed Alou's career had ended. However, someone apparently forgot to inform Moises, as he returned in August better than he had been in years. A .345 batting average and a 30 game hitting streak (the longest ever for a 40+ year old player) later, it seemed the Mets were bound to give the A-Man one more crack at his 2nd ring...but, like in Montreal, a work stoppage ended the Mets season and denied the Flushing Faithful a chance at October baseball....just ask any Met fan. Unfortunately, Alou's career ended with a whimper after the roar. An injury while rehabbing at Double A Binghamton spelled the end for our hero.

And so ends The Ballad of Moises Alou. He leaves a legacy of .303, 332, 1287, 2134, 6 Top 20 MVP finishes, 6 All-Star games, 4 Postseason Trips and a World Series ring. Then why do we remember him as the injury prone guy who peed on his hands? I didn't write this article to suggest the man deserves a plaque in Cooperstown. He was hurt too much, didn't hit in the playoffs enough, and was never a player pitchers quaked at the thought of facing. No no, I wrote this article to celebrate the career of a consummate professional, a winning player, a steroid era star with no asterisks. I wrote it because I wanted to remind people that there were pure ballplayers in the 1990s. I wrote it because I wanted to reminisce about a childhood favorite and a man I've always respected.

I'll never forget a bet I made with a bitter Mets fan in '07. As he whined about Alou's injury issues and called him a "waste", I bet him a beer that my boy would hit at least 10 HRs that season. He laughed, shook my hand and said "I can't wait for that beer."

I've never had a better tasting Coors Lite.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Overachievers Anonymous

Like Rod Serling before me, tonight I submit something from your approval. I will present to you the pure statistics of two Major League Baseball teams, side by side (or on top of one another...but format is semantics at this point). I'll strip the names from the uniform and heck, I'll strip the uniforms in general (I'll also strip the players from beneath the uniform, because if you're looking for a column about nude baseball players, you sir are in the wrong place.) I'll then ask you, the loyal reader, to make a judgment call about the two squads. The lineups are the most recently "regular" lineups posted by the teams...let's call them, "Team A" and "Team B" (creativity, thy name is Mike)


TEAM A:
C: 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, .267 BA .321 OBP
1B: 11 HRs, 55 RBIs, .262 BA, .330 OBP
2B: 8 HRs, 40 RBIs, .274 BA, .340 OBP
SS: .1 HR, 13 RBIs, .260 BA, .293 OBP
3B: 2 HRs, 23 RBIs, .261 BA, .321 OBP
LF: 17 HRs, 50 RBIs, .304 BA, .386 OBP
CF: 12 HRs, 47 RBIs, .308 BA, .362 OBP
RF: 8 HRs, 56 RBIs, .290 BA, .350 OBP

TEAM B:
C: 4 HRs, 23 RBIs, .262 BA, .297 OBP
1B: 5 HRs, 26 RBIs, .246 BA, .313 OBP
2B: 0 HR, 17 RBIs, .276 BA, .374 OBP
SS: 0 HR, 11 RBIs, ..251 BA, .345 OBP
3B: 5 HRs, 43 RBIs, .325 BA, .413 OBP
LF: 10 HRs, 31 RBIs, .277 BA, .387 OBP
CF: 1 HR, 8 RBIs, .176 BA, .242 OBP
RF: 2 HRs, 21 RBIs, .285 BA, .337 OBP


Woo! I smell World Series!!! But seriously, take a look at these two clubs. Neither of them is particularly good. Team A has some nice pieces, but seems to have as many holes as a WWE storyline. Team B, however, looks like the away box score for a Triple A game. Here's another statistic. One of these teams is 38-47 and 13.5 games behind their division leader. The other is 40-43 and 4.5 behind their division leader. Neither of these teams are "good" by definition. One of these teams doesn't have a playoff prayer. One of these teams is in a race.

Give up? Team A is the Baltimore Orioles. Team B is the official whipping boys of the Gotham media, the biggest disappointment since The Phantom Menace, the biggest New York tragedy since Bernie Madoff made a few withdrawals...Ladies and gentlemen, your New York Metropolitans.


Let me follow this little prologue with a disclaimer...I know I have at least one rabid and open Oriole fan who will read this (and another who is so far in the closet, Tom Cruise is ashamed of him...but I won't name names)...I was simply using the O's as a reference point. I don't think they are a joke. They are probably the best last place team in the majors (aka the tallest midgets), they have very nice young building blocks, and Dave Trembley is a ruggedly handsome man. So PLEASE click unsend on the hate mail.


This, unfortunately, is not a column on those lovable Birds. This is an investigation into baseball's biggest paradox this season...Los Mets. Let's get one thing out of the way...I am not a Mets fan. I am not a Yankee fan. I am not a Phillie fan. I am (sadly) a Mariners fan. That *SHOULD* make me unbiased, but alas I am not. As long as its all on the table, I'll readily admit to you that I don't particularly care for the Mets. Never have, never will. Don't ask me why...

That being said, we in the tri-state area have become so inundated with columns/articles/monologues/cave paintings on how tragically bad the Mets have been in 2009. The back page of the New York Post screams it. The hosts and callers on (non Shore Sports Report) talk radio preach it. Opposing fans revel in it. The misfortune of the Mets has become something of a Thanksgiving feast for the sports media...everyone's got their forks out, ready to dig into a delicious Omar appetizer, a succulent entree of Jerry, and a tantalizing David desert (all served with a side of Ollie). The whole thing got me thinking...is the feast really there? Or are we fattening up on a spread of wax vittles?

Fred Wilpon famously said at the end of the 2008 season that he believed his team, fresh off their second consecutive humiliating collapse, had "overachieved" that season. Wilpon was roundly mocked (and justifiably so) for this...With two legitimate MVP candidates, the best all-around center fielder in baseball and arguably the most talented leadoff man in baseball, the Mets lineup looked like a championship contender. The pitching rotation, which shouldered the blame for the '07 collapse, was anchored by the newly acquired Johan Santana and he did not disappoint, finishing 3rd in Cy Young voting. Of course, their bullpen featured such luminaries as Luis Ayala, Jorge Sosa, and everyone's favorite Met...Aaron Heilman. Lead after lead was blown by this bullpen and everyone from the press to the peanut vendors screamed "SAVE US OMAR!" Save them, he did not. The season, as it had the year prior, ended with the Mets choking away the playoffs yet again on the last day of the year. Mets fans braced themselves for the backlash and New York Post headlines writers were drooling at the wealth of puns that was to come. But it never came....Fred Wilpon came out, called the team overachievers, announced that both manager Jerry Manuel and general manager Omar Minaya's jobs were safe, and then left the press conference to go drop off another check at Bernie Madoff's office. As Citi Field was being constructed, Minaya went to work on constructing the team that was to play there...in his mind, a championship team. He did not dissolve the young core that had played in NLCS two years prior as some called for. Instead, he plugged the holes in 'pen, adding the best reliever on the market and a top 5 closer in the game Francisco Rodriguez for what many considered a bargain. He added another former All-Star closer in J.J. Putz to be the set-up man via trade. With the bullpen un-sucktified, he turned an eye to the lineup. With Wright, Reyes, Delgado and Beltran, he figured he had a championship offense and instead chose to build up a bench adding utility man and Peter Gammons text buddy Alex Cora, everyone's favorite paranoid Gary Sheffield and utility outfielder Jeremy Reed. With his lineup, bullpen, and rotation (with the questionably newly minted Oliver Perez) set, O-O-O-Omar and Metssss (apologies to Sir Elton) were ready to rock. Fans were excited and various publications were predicting the Metropolitans to christen Citi Field with a World Series trip. But, as is usually the norm with New York's red-headed step child, it didn't go exactly as planned.

If you've been following baseball this year, you know exactly what happened. As the season began, it became apparent that the architects behind Citi Field had used Petco Park as their template. "Fine then!" said the boys in blue and orange, "We'll win with pitching and defense!" A lovely idea, but a seemingly impossible one, as Oliver Perez turned into circa October 2000 Rick Ankiel and the defense (specifically "Murphy's Law" Danny Murphy) turned into a Buster Keaton film. Injuries piled up and with them came misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis by the Mets medical team of Doctors Howard, Fine, and Howard. Suddenly, it was June and folks who looked at a box score the morning after a Met game were treated to the Triple A lineup we have grown to love...Where was Jose Reyes? Carlos Delgado? Carlos Beltran? Daryl Strawberry? Mets fans would have even been happy to see George Foster's name in the lineup...at least he had some power! In the words of the grand philosopher Michael Ray Richardson..."the ship be sinking." There was more gnashing of teeth and beating of breasts in Queens than in the Old Testament...things were bad for the Mets and there were only getting worse and worse each passing day. But a funny thing happened...they never went away. They never had that 12 game losing streak that buried them. Perhaps its an indictment on the top of the division (I'm looking at you, champs), but the Mets never fell out of contention. Despite all the injuries, all the laughable failures, and all the apparent apathy from the front office, the New York Mets have kept one foot out of the grave. Don't get me wrong...the other foot is indeed in the grave and sinking. As the offense continues its silent protest against violence on baseballs and the pitching staff continues to struggle, the Mets come closer and closer to their appointment at Willoughby Funeral Home. But it hasn't come yet. Yes somehow the Metsises have remained psuedo-competitive despite a lineup that features has-beens, never-wases, and David Wright. I've always been a big proponent of Bill Parcells' credo..."pass the rolls." I also enjoy his other credo..."You are what your record says you are." That is absolutely true. Right now, the Mets are sub .500 team. 5 games under, to be exact. But if I told you at the outset of the year that a team was going to run Alex Cora, Gary Sheffield, Fernando Tatis and a slew of minor leaguers onto the field every day and on any given day could have the names "T. Redding", "L. Hernandez" or "F. Nieve" in the pitching form, what would you have predicted their record as? I'll answer that for you...ATROCIOUS. Refer back to the top of this post. On most nights, the Baltimore Orioles run out a team that, aside from David Wright, would not have a starting spot for ANYONE currently in the Mets starting lineup. The O's are 13 games out of 1st place. The Mets are 5.5. Perhaps that is misleading, as the Birdies in Black play in the best division in baseball, while the Mets play in the worst. So here's another one for you..."Tale of the Tape" wise, there are four positions that the putrid Washington Nationals have an everyday advantage over the Mets in (some might even argue five...the Wright/Zimmerman debate is going to be the DiMaggio/Williams of the '10s!)

The Mets are not a good team. The Mets are a bad team. That's why they are under .500. But they are not a TRAGIC team. At 4 games under .500, by the grace of God, they are still in the race for the National League East. If someone had told me in March that that was going to be the state of affairs in Queens, I would have (after chuckling) shook my head and said "How is that even possible?" So yes, where the Mets sit right now is disappointing. That being said, if someone had told me in March that the Mets were going to lose Carlos Delgado, Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, Brian Schneider, Ryan Church, Oliver Perez, and J.J. Putz to moderate to long DL stints before the All-Star Game, I would have (after chuckling) made the sign of the cross and given last rites to a team that would CERTAINLY (in my simple mind) have been 10-15 games off the division lead and d-e-a-d.

Perhaps the Mets will only sink further and further into the grave, ala the last few years of Zsa Zsa Gabor's life. Perhaps, like Godot before them, the reinforcements will never arrive. Perhaps the season is indeed lost. For the record, my gun to the head prediction would be that this team doesn't sniff the postseason. However...the Mets (provided they do not get swept by the Reds this weekend) sit in a position wherein if the reinforcements DO come back and Omar actually DOES get off his kiester and make a trade...perhaps we won't have to fire up the Chopin's Sonata No. 2. Perhaps the Song of Shea this year will be a refrain of early season collapse with a crescendo of late season run. Yes, you aren't going crazy....a New York/New Jersey sports guy is writing a POSITIVE column about the Mets. Kudos to Jerry Manuel for not letting the ship go entirely under. Kudos to Omar Minaya for building a championship bench (he can get a few more kudos if he actually...oh I don't know, DOES SOMETHING before its too late). Kudos to David Wright for doing his damnedest to keep the team afloat. And kudos to guys like our buddy Pete from Howell for never giving hope on this rag-tag team of minor leaguers. As they say in the Shawshank Redemption...."Hope is a good thing...maybe the best of things...and no good thing ever dies."

Its a long season folks.