Week 11: The Late Bloomer

After a rough and tumble beginning of the season, the K-Train is starting to roll on into the station. A 10-4 showing last week has me feeling loose and has put me only 5 games behind my esteemed cohost. Is it too little too late? Will I be able to save a season of mediocrity and look like I actually know what I'm talking about? Will my backing of the Bucaneers Express blow up in my face like a ACME Rocket? If last night was any indication, I better have my "well over .500" party this week. The Carolina Panthers not only screwed me here but also in fantasy football. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I'm going to kick John Fox in the genitals.


WEEK 11 PICKS:

GIANTS (-6.5) over Falcons
PATRIOTS (-10.5) over Jets
LIONS (-3.5) over Browns
Bills (+9) over JAGUARS
STEELERS (-10) over Chiefs
Colts (-1) over RAVENS
PACKERS (-6.5) over 49ers
VIKINGS (-10.5) over Seahawks
Redskins (+11) over COWBOYS
BUCCANEERS (+11.5) over Saints
Cardinals (-9) over RAMS
BENGALS (-9.5) over Raiders
Chargers (-1) over BRONCOS
Eagles (-3) over BEARS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Titans (-4.5) over TEXANS


RECORD SO FAR: 75-66-1

Week 10 Picks: Onward and Upward

OH BOY! Christmas come early for this Shore Sports Reporter! An 8-5 record has snapped me out of my funk and propelled me to a studly 65-62-1 record! Major networks have already been calling me non-stop to be their "expert" and I can't even walk down the street without being approached by some layabout hobo who wants gambling advice or a woman who just wants to feel my aura. A winning percentage in the .510s! Now I know how Art Shell feels!!! In honor of Art, I'm picking against the Raiders this week! Take that Al Davis!!!



Looking over my picks, I realize that the Chiefs, the Buccaneers, the Lions, and the Seahawks are all on the left side of the column. I may go from being approached by layabouts asking for advice to approaching layabouts asking for a dollar.





WEEK 10 PICKS:

Lions (+17.5) over VIKINGS
Bucaneers (+10) over DOLPHINS
TITANS (-6.5) over Bills
Saints (-13.5) over RAMS
JETS (-7) over Jaguars
Broncos (-3.5) over REDSKINS
Bengals (+7) over STEELERS
PANTHERS (+1.5) over Falcons
Chiefs (-1.5) over RAIDERS
Seahawks (+8.5) over CARDINALS
CHARGERS (-1.5) over Eagles
PACKERS (+3) over Cowboys
Patriots (+3) over COLTS


MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Ravens (-10.5) over BROWNS


And for the hell of it (sticking with my underdog theme)
Cotto (+225) over Pacquiao

RECORD SO FAR: 65-62-1

Mr. .500

I walk into this week with one of the ugliest possible records...57-57-1. That's just unappealing. I walk into every single week with a little voice in the back of my mind saying "You could go undefeated." Then another one says "You could go winless." The fruits of their battle is my .500 (with a tie) record. Shut up guys.



JAGUARS (-7) over Chiefs
Ravens (-3) over BENGALS
Texans (+7.5) over COLTS
FALCONS (-8.5) over Redskins
Packers (-9.5) over BUCCANEERS
Cardinals (+2) over BEARS
PATRIOTS (-11) over Dolphins
Panthers (+12) over SAINTS
SEAHAWKS (-10.5) over Lions
Titans (+4.5) over 49ERS
GIANTS (-5) over Chargers
Cowboys (+3) over EAGLES

Monday Night Football:
Steelers (-3) over BRONCOS



RECORD SO FAR: 57-57-1

Week 8 Picks: Now with 100% More Ties!

I'm so disgusted. Thanks to the Houston Texans, I have to walk around the rest of the season with the football equivalent of Hester Prynne's Scarlet "A"...the tie. Yes that disgusting extra dash will now be attached to my record the rest of the year. So let's here it for Gary Kubiak, Mike Singletary, and everyone else who made it possible for me to have this extra little "1" to lug around for the next 11 weeks!!! As my intrepid co-host pointed out however, at least everyone who picked the game has to deal with the tie. Its nice to know I'm not suffering alone. Anyway, a red hot start last week propelled me to over .500 once again! It would have been a legendary week, but I had been taking heavy hallucinogens and decided that choosing the Buccaneers and Redskins was the right choice. Luckily, I've cleaned up and am ready to take the jump from "Pretty OK" to "OK".


WEEK 8 PICKS:
Giants (PK) over EAGLES
JETS (-3) over Dolphins
COWBOYS (-9.5) over Seahawks
Texans (-3.5) over BILLS
COLTS (-12) over 49ers
Browns (+13) over BEARS
RAVENS (-3.5) over Broncos
TITANS (-3) over Jaguars
LIONS (-3.5) over Rams
PACKERS (-3) over Vikings
CHARGERS (-16.5) over Raiders
Panthers (+10) over CARDINALS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Falcons (+10) over SAINTS

and for the hell of it
Pettite (-1.5) over HAMELS

RECORD SO FAR:
51-50-1

Week 7: Call Me Wayne

Fontes...Wayne Fontes. That's who I'm feeling like this week, friends. A 7-7 week 6 keeps me sittin' pretty at one game under .500. I feel like Moses...before me sits The Land of Milk and Honey (in my case The Land of A Cut Above Average), but despite my long exodus through the desert, entry is being denied. This week is the week. I'm adjusting my robes, straightening my staff and marchin' into the Promised Land. Just call me the Moses of Mediocrity! Let's do some pickin'!


Chargers (-5) over CHIEFS
Colts (-14) over RAMS
Packers (-9) over BROWNS
STEELERS (-5.5) over Vikings
Tampa Bay (-15) over New England (clearly the matchup I'd send overseas. Gotta get 'em hooked!)
TEXANS (-3) over 49ers
Jets (-6) over RAIDERS
PANTHERS (-7) over Bills
BENGALS (-1) over Bears
Saints (-6.5) over DOLPHINS
Falcons (+4) over COWBOYS
GIANTS (-7) over Cardinals


MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
WASHINGTON (+7) over Philadelphia
(I said I'd never pick Jim Zorn again. I never said anything about Sherm "Bingo" Smith.)


And for the hell of it:
Pettite (-1.5) over Saunders


RECORD SO FAR: 44-45

*all lines courtesy of ScoresAndOdds.com
*all knowledge courtesy of a unwarranted sense of expertise

Week 6 Picks

When I say these were finished before the games began...well you're just going to have to believe me.


SAINTS (-3) over Giants
Chiefs (+6.5 over REDSKINS
Texans (+3.5) over BENGALS
STEELERS (-14) over Browns
VIKINGS (-3) over Ravens
JAGUARS (-9.5) over Rams
Panthers (-3) over BUCS
PACKERS (-14) over Lions
Eagles (-14.5) over RAIDERS
SEAHAWKS (-3) over Cardinals
JETS (-9.5) over Bills
PATRIOTS (-9) over Titans
FALCONS (-3.5)over Bears

MNF:
CHARGERS (-3.5) over Broncos



Record So Far: 37-38

Week 5 Picks: I'M OVER .500

Yes folks, break out the champagne. Your beloved SSR co-host is FINALLY over .500 after a 9-5 Week 4 showing. There's a part of me that wants to retire before a week from hell sends me back to JauronLand, but I am many things...a quitter is not one of them. Before we begin, I'd like to remind everyone that I am NEVER EVER EVER picking Jim Zorn's Skins to cover. Never ever. Let's see if the good mojo continues into Week 5.



WEEK 5 PICKS
Raiders (+15.5) over GIANTS
Vikings (-10) over RAMS
Cowboys (-8.5) over CHIEFS
PANTHERS (-3.5) over Redskins
EAGLES (-14.5) over Bucs
BILLS (-6) over Browns
RAVENS (-8.5) over Bengals
Steelers (-10.5) over LIONS
49ERS (-2.5) over Falcons
Patriots (-3) over BRONCOS
CARDINALS (-5.5) over Texans
SEAHAWKS (+3) over Jaguars
Colts (-3.5) over TITANS


MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Jets (-1.5) over DOLPHINS



RECORD SO FAR: 32-29