Over the past month or so, National League baseball talk has revolved around three stories...Did Torre's Dodgers peak too early? Part in parcel with that, we can't get enough of Jim Tracy's Purple Reign in Colorado. The biggest story around these parts since July however, has been the defending champions. From the moment the Phillies acquired one Clifton Phifer Lee, they've been bathing in anointing oils. "Cliff Lee and Cole Hamels is an unbeatable 1-2 punch!" "No one can shut down this lineup!" "Joe Blanton has 1.12 ERA in night games played in cities with a Republican Senator!" Those points? Completely justified. Cliff Lee has continued the trend of AL to NL dominance, Cole Hamels is still basking in the glow of his superhuman '08 postseason, The back end of the rotation has been excellent and the lineup is the best outside of the Bronx. But the Phillies are not without their warts...While Cole Hamels' postseason was indeed Beckett-esque, his regular season has been more Pavano than anything. 7-8, 4.52 ERA doesn't exactly scream "unbeatable." J-Roll has also been performing well below his expected level...but those two "warts" are the kind on your finger...No big deal, not too embarrassing...manageable warts if you will. But there is one oozy, unsightly wart on this Phillies team...the kind of wart that you have to tell a significant other about before the relationship gets "too serious." The baseball VD that I'm referring to is, of course, Brad Lidge. The reason that the Phillies ended their championship drought in '08 could very well be the reason they begin another one this year. More frightening than his 7+ ERA is the apparent apathy taken towards the constant 9th inning dropping of the pants.
But this blog is not about the Philadelphia Phillies. Its not about the Los Angeles Dodgers, the Colorado Rockies, the San Francisco Giants or the Florida Marlins. Its about the team that I feel has an equal, if not BETTER, chance than any of those clubs to rep the Senior Circuit in the Fall Classic. This blog is about the St. Louis Cardinals. The Cards have quietly climbed to 74-54, putting them within striking distance of the NL's best record. They have quietly built a 9 game cushion on the disappointing Cubbies, which is currently the largest lead in all of baseball. They quietly went out and made a trade that has been just as helpful as the Phils' for Lee. Matt Holliday's star was dwindling in the cellar of the AL West until John Mozeliak made a surprising trade and brought him to The Gateway City. Holliday's response to the move...blistering. Hitting at .386 clip with 6 HRs and 28 RBIs, he has provided the offensive help so richly desired by Albert Pujols. And what of Albert? The very best player in baseball has not disappointed this season. Many have said that El Hombre as reached the hallowed world of "Could Be Every Year MVP", but with the way he's hit this year, that "could" is becoming a "will" as it pertains to 2009. The Cards also have a ton of talent up and down their lineup...Ankiel, Ludwick, DeRosa, Rasmus and Molina might not look like Murderer's Row, but combined with the aforementioned Big Two, its a lineup that can win on any given night.
We know the Cards can hit. We also know that the Phillies can hit better. As good as the St. Louis lineup is, the Phillies lineup could outslug them 9 times out of 10. The Dodgers post a similar lineup that many would argue is just as good as St. Louis'. But say it with me now folks...Pitching Wins Championships. Time and time again, that adage is repeated. The question than becomes...who has the best pitching in the National League? We've heard all about the one-two punch of Lee and Hamels, the young guns Billingsley and Kershaw out in Hollywood, and Lincecum and Cain (Li'l Curt and Randy) in San Fran. I submit for your approval the numbers a one-two punch just as good as the Giants' (in my opinion, the best of the Big Three).
15-7, 2.50 ERA. 14-3, 2.16 ERA.
Those are Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter's numbers respectively. Better than Lee/Hamels, better than Billingsley/Kershaw, and just as good as Lincecum/Cain. The much maligned Joel Pinero, who entered the season as a laughable number 3 starter, has emerged as the best "3rd option" in the National League. In fact, the Pride of Rio Piedras has had better pillar to post numbers than Cole Hamels! The Cards 'pen has also been better than the rest. Ryan Franklin has been the best closer in the National League and winner of the '09 Graeme Lloyd Beauty Pageant Trever Miller has been unreal, what with his sub 1 WHIP and miniscule ERA and I swear, if John Smoltz can continue his shocking success, Dave Duncan should be placed on the MLB's "Banned Substances" list.
The team I am most reminded of when I see this Cards squad is the Diamondbacks of '01. Two Cy Young candidates at the front end, a MVP performer in the lineup, good complimentary players, and a solid bullpen. Except that this Cardinal team is BETTER in 5 crucial spots. Better star. Better lineup. Better pen. Better back of the rotation. Better manager. Its incredible to think that about this unassuming Cards team that many wrote off before the year, but it is, in my opinion, true. And I'm on the radio. So it must be.
Best player in baseball? Check. Red hot sidekick? Check. Good complimentary players? Check. A pair of Cy Young worthy aces? Check. Good back-end rotation help? Check. Lights out pen? Check. Experienced (and Hall of Fame bound) skipper? Check. Looking over my shopping list, it seems that perhaps there is a National League squad set to make this a Red October. But its not the one you thought it was. But keep talking repeat, keep talking Torre vs Girardi, keep talking about the incredible story of the Rockies. The Cardinals would want it that way. They'd prefer to ascend to the top of the league the same way they've been climbing all year. Quietly.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Things Go Better With Coke
As we draw closer to the deadline, a lot of Yankee fans (and fans of “sellers”) are abuzz with talk of the Bombers rotation. Everything seems a-ok in the Bronx right now, but Brian Cashman is ripping out the four hairs he has left as thinks about the upcoming months as it pertains to his rotation. Some may think this is lunacy, as the Yanks are fresh off of an 8 game winning streak and seem to be building up Big Mo (not the Rivera variety) heading into their upcoming series with Boston. C.C. is pitching like an ace, A.J. Burnett is healthy and dealing, Joba seems to have finally put it together as a starter, Andy Pettite is up and down but has scads of pennant race experience, and Sergio Mitre impressed in his first start of the year. In Bullpen Land, things are even better as Big Mo (the Rivera variety) hasn’t lost a beat and Phillip Hughes has transformed into circa ’96 Rivera, giving them they luxury of a 7 inning ball game. Then why the unrest? Two words.
Kei. Igawa.
Currently, the Pride of Oarai is the Yankees technical “6th Starter.” Cashman knows this (I would hope), and as he watches Chamberlain’s much publicized “innings limit” draw closer and closer, sleeping at night becomes more and more difficult. What will happen when Joba hits that magic number? Will the organization cast aside the “Joba Rules” that have plagued the young man throughout his career (and sold a ton of shirts)? It doesn’t seem likely. Then the logical move would be a trip back to the bullpen for the former Sooner. But who then inherits his spot in the rotation? Hughes? Certainly not. The Yanks can’t sacrifice the dominance Hughes has brought to the 8th inning role. “The Acesavior” Alfredo Aceves? No way. He too has flourished in his bullpen role. They both have been valuable cogs in the Yankees’ recent success. The Wanger has been the complete opposite of “reliable” this season, so there’s no reason to even consider him. The top of the farm system is barren…the aforementioned Igawa tops the list of potential call-ups followed by a group of pitchers with little to no experience facing Major League hitters. A trade then? Perhaps the Jay Buhner trading Yanks of old would do such a thing, but the top line starters would cost far too much and the “back end” guys like Aaron Harang and Doug Davis aren’t exactly setting the world on fire. So what to do? I have a suggestion. There’s a guy in the Yankees bullpen right now that has been performing very well. A guy with starting experience. A guy whose production, while a plus, could be easily replaced by a guy like Joba, who we’ve all seen been shut-down out of the ‘pen.
That guy is Phil Coke. So far this season, Coke has been a quality reliever for the Yanks. After some early struggles, he’s settled down to the tune of a 3.67 ERA, a sub 1 WHIP, and K/BB ratio of 34/14. He has not been dominant by any stretch and has seemingly struggled in recent appearances, but has been by no means dreadful. By the same token, he has been far from “invaluable.” As my buddy Doug reminded me today, Coke has never started a game for the “big club”, but has started 77 games in the Yankees minor league system. He was far from “untouchable” as a minor league starter, but was impressive enough that he had been touted as a future part of the Yankees rotation until the team required a left handed reliever. The guy has good, solid stuff and has pitched over 550 innings all total in his professional career. Plus, a Joba/Coke switch allows you to get Chamberlain into the bullpen, where we know he can be dominant (look to his pre-midge 2007 season for proof) without sacrificing Aceves or Hughes. The prospect of an Aceves/Hughes/Joba/Rivera bullpen is quite tantalizing,especially when you consider that Damaso Marte is on his way back to the club. You also do not need to lease prospects like Austin Jackson, Jesus Montero, Zach McAllister etc. to get a guy like Jarrod Washburn from the Seattle Mariners. Washburn has been near-elite this season, but posts a career postseason ERA of 4.91 and for his career against the Red Sox, he is under .500 with a plus 4 earned run average. Many doubt his ability to pitch against the AL’s best and his performances against the Yanks and Angels this season seem to prove that.
I’m not saying that Phil Coke will slide into the rotation and be the second coming of Whitey Ford. But he does provide a “safe”, cost-free option when the magical innings limit is reached by Mr. Chamberlain. The Yanks would probably still have to go out and get a low rent starter (the aforementioned Harang or Davis, perhaps Ian Snell of Pittsburgh who has been lights-out since his demotion due to depression) for the stretch run or to be a postseason fourth starter. The best plan would be to say “Joba Rules be damned! This man is a starter!” But if the Bombers decide to send Joba to the ‘pen, my advice to Brian Cashman and the Steinbrenner boys is to order up a Coke. You know what they say…Things go better with Coke.
Kei. Igawa.
Currently, the Pride of Oarai is the Yankees technical “6th Starter.” Cashman knows this (I would hope), and as he watches Chamberlain’s much publicized “innings limit” draw closer and closer, sleeping at night becomes more and more difficult. What will happen when Joba hits that magic number? Will the organization cast aside the “Joba Rules” that have plagued the young man throughout his career (and sold a ton of shirts)? It doesn’t seem likely. Then the logical move would be a trip back to the bullpen for the former Sooner. But who then inherits his spot in the rotation? Hughes? Certainly not. The Yanks can’t sacrifice the dominance Hughes has brought to the 8th inning role. “The Acesavior” Alfredo Aceves? No way. He too has flourished in his bullpen role. They both have been valuable cogs in the Yankees’ recent success. The Wanger has been the complete opposite of “reliable” this season, so there’s no reason to even consider him. The top of the farm system is barren…the aforementioned Igawa tops the list of potential call-ups followed by a group of pitchers with little to no experience facing Major League hitters. A trade then? Perhaps the Jay Buhner trading Yanks of old would do such a thing, but the top line starters would cost far too much and the “back end” guys like Aaron Harang and Doug Davis aren’t exactly setting the world on fire. So what to do? I have a suggestion. There’s a guy in the Yankees bullpen right now that has been performing very well. A guy with starting experience. A guy whose production, while a plus, could be easily replaced by a guy like Joba, who we’ve all seen been shut-down out of the ‘pen.
That guy is Phil Coke. So far this season, Coke has been a quality reliever for the Yanks. After some early struggles, he’s settled down to the tune of a 3.67 ERA, a sub 1 WHIP, and K/BB ratio of 34/14. He has not been dominant by any stretch and has seemingly struggled in recent appearances, but has been by no means dreadful. By the same token, he has been far from “invaluable.” As my buddy Doug reminded me today, Coke has never started a game for the “big club”, but has started 77 games in the Yankees minor league system. He was far from “untouchable” as a minor league starter, but was impressive enough that he had been touted as a future part of the Yankees rotation until the team required a left handed reliever. The guy has good, solid stuff and has pitched over 550 innings all total in his professional career. Plus, a Joba/Coke switch allows you to get Chamberlain into the bullpen, where we know he can be dominant (look to his pre-midge 2007 season for proof) without sacrificing Aceves or Hughes. The prospect of an Aceves/Hughes/Joba/Rivera bullpen is quite tantalizing,especially when you consider that Damaso Marte is on his way back to the club. You also do not need to lease prospects like Austin Jackson, Jesus Montero, Zach McAllister etc. to get a guy like Jarrod Washburn from the Seattle Mariners. Washburn has been near-elite this season, but posts a career postseason ERA of 4.91 and for his career against the Red Sox, he is under .500 with a plus 4 earned run average. Many doubt his ability to pitch against the AL’s best and his performances against the Yanks and Angels this season seem to prove that.
I’m not saying that Phil Coke will slide into the rotation and be the second coming of Whitey Ford. But he does provide a “safe”, cost-free option when the magical innings limit is reached by Mr. Chamberlain. The Yanks would probably still have to go out and get a low rent starter (the aforementioned Harang or Davis, perhaps Ian Snell of Pittsburgh who has been lights-out since his demotion due to depression) for the stretch run or to be a postseason fourth starter. The best plan would be to say “Joba Rules be damned! This man is a starter!” But if the Bombers decide to send Joba to the ‘pen, my advice to Brian Cashman and the Steinbrenner boys is to order up a Coke. You know what they say…Things go better with Coke.
Friday, July 10, 2009
The Guy Who Pees on His Hands?
Baseball fans love to look at "the old days" through nostalgia colored glasses. Everyone from grandpa right own down to junior loves to talk about the players they saw "growing up" and how much better the game was then. Unfortunately for my generation and younger, the players I saw "growing up" were primarily synthetic...chemically enhanced sluggers with muscles like the Ultimate Warrior and tempers shorter than Lord Littlebrook. I will admit, however, I am guilty of doing just that. Despite the cloud that hangs over "my generation's" ballplayers, I fondly reflect on the days of Junior, Edgar, and The Big Unit. As is always the case, the grass is always green 10 years ago. Despite the fact that (even at the age of 9) I recognized that Cal Ripken Jr. was kind of a jerk, I'll never forget my father calling me downstairs to watch the Iron Man break the Streak on ESPN. I can vividly remember being 10 years old and sitting in awe as the '96 Yankees did the impossible. The only times in my life I woke up early for school was September of 1998, when I would sprint downstairs to the TV to see if McGwire or Sosa had smacked another tater. Yes, the "olden days" were the good ones...a simpler time if you will. But as the celebrated philosopher Joel once said "The Good Ol' Days weren't all that good". Mitchell Reports, Canseco books, and testimonies have cast the shadow of doubt on many of those far-gone days of youth. I desperately cling to the idea that none of my beloved M's were using...I've never seen Griffey, Buhner or Martinez's name on one of those dreaded "LISTS", which helps me sleep at night. However, that does not mean I must destroy my nostalgia glasses. I can still put them on and take a gander at 90s baseball...I just have to look harder to find the special ones. The "clean" ones. The players who I may have not been appreciating at the time...mainly because what 11 year old is thinking about OPS or outfield assists. Just the other day, I slipped ol' frames on and found myself a diamond in the rough. A player whose name isn't exactly rolling off the tongues of baseball fans in '09...perhaps because we haven't seen his name in connection with the Cream or the Clear. No, the only performance enhancer this man was using was his own urine...I'm talking about Moises Alou.
Perhaps you’re saying MOISES ALOU?!? THE GUY WHO PEED ON HIS HANDS?!? THE GUY WHO COULDN'T PLAY 3 GAMES IN THE '08 METS?!? WHO CARES ABOUT HIM!...If you are saying that, I'd ask you to please stop shouting...people probably think you are crazy. If you are indeed shouting, read on. But perhaps you are not yelling these things...perhaps you too remember Felipe's son fondly. If you are one of those, I invite you to take a walk down memory lane with me. Don't forget those glasses though...
Moises Alou was far from a flashy player. At 6'3, 190 pounds, he lacked the imposing Popeye-esque figure we became accustomed to during his era. Despite being picked 2nd overall by Pittsburgh in 1986, he didn't exactly burst onto the scene in a "major market"...called up by the Pirates in 1990 and almost immediately moved to one of the biggest baseball cities of all time, Montreal, as a faceless "player to be named later." It seemed Moises was on his way to being just a blip on the baseball radar...another member of the storied Alou family if nothing else. 2 years later however, the fates converged in Quebec, and Moises was called up to play left field for the Expos and their new manager Felipe Alou (or as Moises called him "Dad"). 341 At-Bats later, Alou finished 2nd in the National League Rookie of the Year voting, after batting .282 with 9 HRs and 56 RBIs. As the years progressed, so too did Moises...getting better and better with each passing year. The 1994 season was particularly noteworthy...an impressive .339 batting average, coupled with 22 HRs and 79 RBIs. Even more impressive than the numbers was the fact that it seemed like FINALLY baseball in Montreal was becoming relevant. The 'Spos were flying high and looking like the team to beat in the National League...until the season came to a screeching halt. The infamous strike left many casualties in its wake, none greater perhaps than the state of baseball at Olympic Stadium. The Expos were left stranded 34 games over .500 and Alou finished 3rd in a tainted MVP ballot. Baseball returned, but the Expos (and Alou) never got the taste of October baseball they were certainly going to have in '94. In the winter of '96, Alou signed a contract with another losing organization...the Florida Marlins. The Marlins had only played 3 seasons with nary a winning record to speak of. At the outset of the '97 season, not many gave the Fish a second thought. But, without warning, the Men in Teal became For Real, in large part due to Alou’s career high in HRs (23) and his first 100 RBI season. The Marlins charged all the way to the World Series, where they shocked the heavily favored Cleveland Indians in 7 games. Alou hit the cover off the ball during the Fall Classic, belting 3 homers and swinging to the tune of a .321 clip. The Marlins were improbable champs and Alou was their improbable star. However, owner Wayne Huizenga did his best Rachel Phelps impression (hopefully Jim Leyland had a nude cardboard cut-out of him in the locker room during the '97 run) and completely gutted the team, auctioning off his stars to the highest bidder...Alou was shipped to Houston in return for future stars Manuel Barrios, Mark J. Johnson, and Oscar Henriquez.
Alou's stint in Houston had its high highs and low lows...The highest of highs came in his debut season as a 'Stro. The 1998 Astros club is destined to forever be on a "Prime 9" of "Best Teams to Never Win a World Series." Stocked top to bottom with All-Star level talent (even before the 11th hour trade for Randy Johnson),Houston, racked up 102 victories. Our hero had an incredible season, posting an average of .321 to go with his 38 HRs and 124 RBIs. His season has been largely overlooked by history, thanks to the Baseball Saving Maris Chase presented by BALCO. Unfortunately for Houston (and everyone really) the San Diego Padres improbably blew them away in the ALDS (in large part because neither Alou, Bagwell, nor Biggio batted over .200...just saving you the trouble of bringing that up in the comments section.)
'99 however, was marred by a treadmill accident unlike any since the Saget-Era America's Funniest Home Videos. Alou tore his ACL and missed the whole season. He'd return for the final 2 years of his contract with Houston and didn't miss a beat...two Top 20 MVP finishes, a .342 average, 57 HRs, and 222 RBIs (combined, he had the type of season Alex Rodriguez used to have on my MLB '99 game for Playstation.)
His next stop was Chicago for three seasons, where, despite injuries, he was able to put forth an average of 25 dingers, 86 ribbies and a .283 clip. Admittedly a step down from his days in Texas (an All-Star appearance and a Top 15 MVP finish notwithstanding) but, as is always the case, his team enjoyed success, coming one Steve Bartman error away from the Fall Classic.
Alou's career was clearly winding down at this point. He headed to the Giants to play for his father one more time, but injuries and a crummy team made the stint largely forgettable. So just to refresh your memory...he hit over .300 both years and was selected to his 6th All-Star game in 2006.
When the 40 year old Alou left San Fran for Shea, many thought his career had reached that embarrassing "Jerry Rice the Seahawk, Gaylord Perry the Mariner" stage. He came out of the gate strong however in 2007, batting .318 in his first month. A torn quad muscle knocked him out til August, and it seemed Alou's career had ended. However, someone apparently forgot to inform Moises, as he returned in August better than he had been in years. A .345 batting average and a 30 game hitting streak (the longest ever for a 40+ year old player) later, it seemed the Mets were bound to give the A-Man one more crack at his 2nd ring...but, like in Montreal, a work stoppage ended the Mets season and denied the Flushing Faithful a chance at October baseball....just ask any Met fan. Unfortunately, Alou's career ended with a whimper after the roar. An injury while rehabbing at Double A Binghamton spelled the end for our hero.
And so ends The Ballad of Moises Alou. He leaves a legacy of .303, 332, 1287, 2134, 6 Top 20 MVP finishes, 6 All-Star games, 4 Postseason Trips and a World Series ring. Then why do we remember him as the injury prone guy who peed on his hands? I didn't write this article to suggest the man deserves a plaque in Cooperstown. He was hurt too much, didn't hit in the playoffs enough, and was never a player pitchers quaked at the thought of facing. No no, I wrote this article to celebrate the career of a consummate professional, a winning player, a steroid era star with no asterisks. I wrote it because I wanted to remind people that there were pure ballplayers in the 1990s. I wrote it because I wanted to reminisce about a childhood favorite and a man I've always respected.
I'll never forget a bet I made with a bitter Mets fan in '07. As he whined about Alou's injury issues and called him a "waste", I bet him a beer that my boy would hit at least 10 HRs that season. He laughed, shook my hand and said "I can't wait for that beer."
I've never had a better tasting Coors Lite.
Perhaps you’re saying MOISES ALOU?!? THE GUY WHO PEED ON HIS HANDS?!? THE GUY WHO COULDN'T PLAY 3 GAMES IN THE '08 METS?!? WHO CARES ABOUT HIM!...If you are saying that, I'd ask you to please stop shouting...people probably think you are crazy. If you are indeed shouting, read on. But perhaps you are not yelling these things...perhaps you too remember Felipe's son fondly. If you are one of those, I invite you to take a walk down memory lane with me. Don't forget those glasses though...
Moises Alou was far from a flashy player. At 6'3, 190 pounds, he lacked the imposing Popeye-esque figure we became accustomed to during his era. Despite being picked 2nd overall by Pittsburgh in 1986, he didn't exactly burst onto the scene in a "major market"...called up by the Pirates in 1990 and almost immediately moved to one of the biggest baseball cities of all time, Montreal, as a faceless "player to be named later." It seemed Moises was on his way to being just a blip on the baseball radar...another member of the storied Alou family if nothing else. 2 years later however, the fates converged in Quebec, and Moises was called up to play left field for the Expos and their new manager Felipe Alou (or as Moises called him "Dad"). 341 At-Bats later, Alou finished 2nd in the National League Rookie of the Year voting, after batting .282 with 9 HRs and 56 RBIs. As the years progressed, so too did Moises...getting better and better with each passing year. The 1994 season was particularly noteworthy...an impressive .339 batting average, coupled with 22 HRs and 79 RBIs. Even more impressive than the numbers was the fact that it seemed like FINALLY baseball in Montreal was becoming relevant. The 'Spos were flying high and looking like the team to beat in the National League...until the season came to a screeching halt. The infamous strike left many casualties in its wake, none greater perhaps than the state of baseball at Olympic Stadium. The Expos were left stranded 34 games over .500 and Alou finished 3rd in a tainted MVP ballot. Baseball returned, but the Expos (and Alou) never got the taste of October baseball they were certainly going to have in '94. In the winter of '96, Alou signed a contract with another losing organization...the Florida Marlins. The Marlins had only played 3 seasons with nary a winning record to speak of. At the outset of the '97 season, not many gave the Fish a second thought. But, without warning, the Men in Teal became For Real, in large part due to Alou’s career high in HRs (23) and his first 100 RBI season. The Marlins charged all the way to the World Series, where they shocked the heavily favored Cleveland Indians in 7 games. Alou hit the cover off the ball during the Fall Classic, belting 3 homers and swinging to the tune of a .321 clip. The Marlins were improbable champs and Alou was their improbable star. However, owner Wayne Huizenga did his best Rachel Phelps impression (hopefully Jim Leyland had a nude cardboard cut-out of him in the locker room during the '97 run) and completely gutted the team, auctioning off his stars to the highest bidder...Alou was shipped to Houston in return for future stars Manuel Barrios, Mark J. Johnson, and Oscar Henriquez.
Alou's stint in Houston had its high highs and low lows...The highest of highs came in his debut season as a 'Stro. The 1998 Astros club is destined to forever be on a "Prime 9" of "Best Teams to Never Win a World Series." Stocked top to bottom with All-Star level talent (even before the 11th hour trade for Randy Johnson),Houston, racked up 102 victories. Our hero had an incredible season, posting an average of .321 to go with his 38 HRs and 124 RBIs. His season has been largely overlooked by history, thanks to the Baseball Saving Maris Chase presented by BALCO. Unfortunately for Houston (and everyone really) the San Diego Padres improbably blew them away in the ALDS (in large part because neither Alou, Bagwell, nor Biggio batted over .200...just saving you the trouble of bringing that up in the comments section.)
'99 however, was marred by a treadmill accident unlike any since the Saget-Era America's Funniest Home Videos. Alou tore his ACL and missed the whole season. He'd return for the final 2 years of his contract with Houston and didn't miss a beat...two Top 20 MVP finishes, a .342 average, 57 HRs, and 222 RBIs (combined, he had the type of season Alex Rodriguez used to have on my MLB '99 game for Playstation.)
His next stop was Chicago for three seasons, where, despite injuries, he was able to put forth an average of 25 dingers, 86 ribbies and a .283 clip. Admittedly a step down from his days in Texas (an All-Star appearance and a Top 15 MVP finish notwithstanding) but, as is always the case, his team enjoyed success, coming one Steve Bartman error away from the Fall Classic.
Alou's career was clearly winding down at this point. He headed to the Giants to play for his father one more time, but injuries and a crummy team made the stint largely forgettable. So just to refresh your memory...he hit over .300 both years and was selected to his 6th All-Star game in 2006.
When the 40 year old Alou left San Fran for Shea, many thought his career had reached that embarrassing "Jerry Rice the Seahawk, Gaylord Perry the Mariner" stage. He came out of the gate strong however in 2007, batting .318 in his first month. A torn quad muscle knocked him out til August, and it seemed Alou's career had ended. However, someone apparently forgot to inform Moises, as he returned in August better than he had been in years. A .345 batting average and a 30 game hitting streak (the longest ever for a 40+ year old player) later, it seemed the Mets were bound to give the A-Man one more crack at his 2nd ring...but, like in Montreal, a work stoppage ended the Mets season and denied the Flushing Faithful a chance at October baseball....just ask any Met fan. Unfortunately, Alou's career ended with a whimper after the roar. An injury while rehabbing at Double A Binghamton spelled the end for our hero.
And so ends The Ballad of Moises Alou. He leaves a legacy of .303, 332, 1287, 2134, 6 Top 20 MVP finishes, 6 All-Star games, 4 Postseason Trips and a World Series ring. Then why do we remember him as the injury prone guy who peed on his hands? I didn't write this article to suggest the man deserves a plaque in Cooperstown. He was hurt too much, didn't hit in the playoffs enough, and was never a player pitchers quaked at the thought of facing. No no, I wrote this article to celebrate the career of a consummate professional, a winning player, a steroid era star with no asterisks. I wrote it because I wanted to remind people that there were pure ballplayers in the 1990s. I wrote it because I wanted to reminisce about a childhood favorite and a man I've always respected.
I'll never forget a bet I made with a bitter Mets fan in '07. As he whined about Alou's injury issues and called him a "waste", I bet him a beer that my boy would hit at least 10 HRs that season. He laughed, shook my hand and said "I can't wait for that beer."
I've never had a better tasting Coors Lite.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Overachievers Anonymous
Like Rod Serling before me, tonight I submit something from your approval. I will present to you the pure statistics of two Major League Baseball teams, side by side (or on top of one another...but format is semantics at this point). I'll strip the names from the uniform and heck, I'll strip the uniforms in general (I'll also strip the players from beneath the uniform, because if you're looking for a column about nude baseball players, you sir are in the wrong place.) I'll then ask you, the loyal reader, to make a judgment call about the two squads. The lineups are the most recently "regular" lineups posted by the teams...let's call them, "Team A" and "Team B" (creativity, thy name is Mike)
TEAM A:
C: 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, .267 BA .321 OBP
1B: 11 HRs, 55 RBIs, .262 BA, .330 OBP
2B: 8 HRs, 40 RBIs, .274 BA, .340 OBP
SS: .1 HR, 13 RBIs, .260 BA, .293 OBP
3B: 2 HRs, 23 RBIs, .261 BA, .321 OBP
LF: 17 HRs, 50 RBIs, .304 BA, .386 OBP
CF: 12 HRs, 47 RBIs, .308 BA, .362 OBP
RF: 8 HRs, 56 RBIs, .290 BA, .350 OBP
TEAM B:
C: 4 HRs, 23 RBIs, .262 BA, .297 OBP
1B: 5 HRs, 26 RBIs, .246 BA, .313 OBP
2B: 0 HR, 17 RBIs, .276 BA, .374 OBP
SS: 0 HR, 11 RBIs, ..251 BA, .345 OBP
3B: 5 HRs, 43 RBIs, .325 BA, .413 OBP
LF: 10 HRs, 31 RBIs, .277 BA, .387 OBP
CF: 1 HR, 8 RBIs, .176 BA, .242 OBP
RF: 2 HRs, 21 RBIs, .285 BA, .337 OBP
Woo! I smell World Series!!! But seriously, take a look at these two clubs. Neither of them is particularly good. Team A has some nice pieces, but seems to have as many holes as a WWE storyline. Team B, however, looks like the away box score for a Triple A game. Here's another statistic. One of these teams is 38-47 and 13.5 games behind their division leader. The other is 40-43 and 4.5 behind their division leader. Neither of these teams are "good" by definition. One of these teams doesn't have a playoff prayer. One of these teams is in a race.
Give up? Team A is the Baltimore Orioles. Team B is the official whipping boys of the Gotham media, the biggest disappointment since The Phantom Menace, the biggest New York tragedy since Bernie Madoff made a few withdrawals...Ladies and gentlemen, your New York Metropolitans.
Let me follow this little prologue with a disclaimer...I know I have at least one rabid and open Oriole fan who will read this (and another who is so far in the closet, Tom Cruise is ashamed of him...but I won't name names)...I was simply using the O's as a reference point. I don't think they are a joke. They are probably the best last place team in the majors (aka the tallest midgets), they have very nice young building blocks, and Dave Trembley is a ruggedly handsome man. So PLEASE click unsend on the hate mail.
This, unfortunately, is not a column on those lovable Birds. This is an investigation into baseball's biggest paradox this season...Los Mets. Let's get one thing out of the way...I am not a Mets fan. I am not a Yankee fan. I am not a Phillie fan. I am (sadly) a Mariners fan. That *SHOULD* make me unbiased, but alas I am not. As long as its all on the table, I'll readily admit to you that I don't particularly care for the Mets. Never have, never will. Don't ask me why...
That being said, we in the tri-state area have become so inundated with columns/articles/monologues/cave paintings on how tragically bad the Mets have been in 2009. The back page of the New York Post screams it. The hosts and callers on (non Shore Sports Report) talk radio preach it. Opposing fans revel in it. The misfortune of the Mets has become something of a Thanksgiving feast for the sports media...everyone's got their forks out, ready to dig into a delicious Omar appetizer, a succulent entree of Jerry, and a tantalizing David desert (all served with a side of Ollie). The whole thing got me thinking...is the feast really there? Or are we fattening up on a spread of wax vittles?
Fred Wilpon famously said at the end of the 2008 season that he believed his team, fresh off their second consecutive humiliating collapse, had "overachieved" that season. Wilpon was roundly mocked (and justifiably so) for this...With two legitimate MVP candidates, the best all-around center fielder in baseball and arguably the most talented leadoff man in baseball, the Mets lineup looked like a championship contender. The pitching rotation, which shouldered the blame for the '07 collapse, was anchored by the newly acquired Johan Santana and he did not disappoint, finishing 3rd in Cy Young voting. Of course, their bullpen featured such luminaries as Luis Ayala, Jorge Sosa, and everyone's favorite Met...Aaron Heilman. Lead after lead was blown by this bullpen and everyone from the press to the peanut vendors screamed "SAVE US OMAR!" Save them, he did not. The season, as it had the year prior, ended with the Mets choking away the playoffs yet again on the last day of the year. Mets fans braced themselves for the backlash and New York Post headlines writers were drooling at the wealth of puns that was to come. But it never came....Fred Wilpon came out, called the team overachievers, announced that both manager Jerry Manuel and general manager Omar Minaya's jobs were safe, and then left the press conference to go drop off another check at Bernie Madoff's office. As Citi Field was being constructed, Minaya went to work on constructing the team that was to play there...in his mind, a championship team. He did not dissolve the young core that had played in NLCS two years prior as some called for. Instead, he plugged the holes in 'pen, adding the best reliever on the market and a top 5 closer in the game Francisco Rodriguez for what many considered a bargain. He added another former All-Star closer in J.J. Putz to be the set-up man via trade. With the bullpen un-sucktified, he turned an eye to the lineup. With Wright, Reyes, Delgado and Beltran, he figured he had a championship offense and instead chose to build up a bench adding utility man and Peter Gammons text buddy Alex Cora, everyone's favorite paranoid Gary Sheffield and utility outfielder Jeremy Reed. With his lineup, bullpen, and rotation (with the questionably newly minted Oliver Perez) set, O-O-O-Omar and Metssss (apologies to Sir Elton) were ready to rock. Fans were excited and various publications were predicting the Metropolitans to christen Citi Field with a World Series trip. But, as is usually the norm with New York's red-headed step child, it didn't go exactly as planned.
If you've been following baseball this year, you know exactly what happened. As the season began, it became apparent that the architects behind Citi Field had used Petco Park as their template. "Fine then!" said the boys in blue and orange, "We'll win with pitching and defense!" A lovely idea, but a seemingly impossible one, as Oliver Perez turned into circa October 2000 Rick Ankiel and the defense (specifically "Murphy's Law" Danny Murphy) turned into a Buster Keaton film. Injuries piled up and with them came misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis by the Mets medical team of Doctors Howard, Fine, and Howard. Suddenly, it was June and folks who looked at a box score the morning after a Met game were treated to the Triple A lineup we have grown to love...Where was Jose Reyes? Carlos Delgado? Carlos Beltran? Daryl Strawberry? Mets fans would have even been happy to see George Foster's name in the lineup...at least he had some power! In the words of the grand philosopher Michael Ray Richardson..."the ship be sinking." There was more gnashing of teeth and beating of breasts in Queens than in the Old Testament...things were bad for the Mets and there were only getting worse and worse each passing day. But a funny thing happened...they never went away. They never had that 12 game losing streak that buried them. Perhaps its an indictment on the top of the division (I'm looking at you, champs), but the Mets never fell out of contention. Despite all the injuries, all the laughable failures, and all the apparent apathy from the front office, the New York Mets have kept one foot out of the grave. Don't get me wrong...the other foot is indeed in the grave and sinking. As the offense continues its silent protest against violence on baseballs and the pitching staff continues to struggle, the Mets come closer and closer to their appointment at Willoughby Funeral Home. But it hasn't come yet. Yes somehow the Metsises have remained psuedo-competitive despite a lineup that features has-beens, never-wases, and David Wright. I've always been a big proponent of Bill Parcells' credo..."pass the rolls." I also enjoy his other credo..."You are what your record says you are." That is absolutely true. Right now, the Mets are sub .500 team. 5 games under, to be exact. But if I told you at the outset of the year that a team was going to run Alex Cora, Gary Sheffield, Fernando Tatis and a slew of minor leaguers onto the field every day and on any given day could have the names "T. Redding", "L. Hernandez" or "F. Nieve" in the pitching form, what would you have predicted their record as? I'll answer that for you...ATROCIOUS. Refer back to the top of this post. On most nights, the Baltimore Orioles run out a team that, aside from David Wright, would not have a starting spot for ANYONE currently in the Mets starting lineup. The O's are 13 games out of 1st place. The Mets are 5.5. Perhaps that is misleading, as the Birdies in Black play in the best division in baseball, while the Mets play in the worst. So here's another one for you..."Tale of the Tape" wise, there are four positions that the putrid Washington Nationals have an everyday advantage over the Mets in (some might even argue five...the Wright/Zimmerman debate is going to be the DiMaggio/Williams of the '10s!)
The Mets are not a good team. The Mets are a bad team. That's why they are under .500. But they are not a TRAGIC team. At 4 games under .500, by the grace of God, they are still in the race for the National League East. If someone had told me in March that that was going to be the state of affairs in Queens, I would have (after chuckling) shook my head and said "How is that even possible?" So yes, where the Mets sit right now is disappointing. That being said, if someone had told me in March that the Mets were going to lose Carlos Delgado, Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, Brian Schneider, Ryan Church, Oliver Perez, and J.J. Putz to moderate to long DL stints before the All-Star Game, I would have (after chuckling) made the sign of the cross and given last rites to a team that would CERTAINLY (in my simple mind) have been 10-15 games off the division lead and d-e-a-d.
Perhaps the Mets will only sink further and further into the grave, ala the last few years of Zsa Zsa Gabor's life. Perhaps, like Godot before them, the reinforcements will never arrive. Perhaps the season is indeed lost. For the record, my gun to the head prediction would be that this team doesn't sniff the postseason. However...the Mets (provided they do not get swept by the Reds this weekend) sit in a position wherein if the reinforcements DO come back and Omar actually DOES get off his kiester and make a trade...perhaps we won't have to fire up the Chopin's Sonata No. 2. Perhaps the Song of Shea this year will be a refrain of early season collapse with a crescendo of late season run. Yes, you aren't going crazy....a New York/New Jersey sports guy is writing a POSITIVE column about the Mets. Kudos to Jerry Manuel for not letting the ship go entirely under. Kudos to Omar Minaya for building a championship bench (he can get a few more kudos if he actually...oh I don't know, DOES SOMETHING before its too late). Kudos to David Wright for doing his damnedest to keep the team afloat. And kudos to guys like our buddy Pete from Howell for never giving hope on this rag-tag team of minor leaguers. As they say in the Shawshank Redemption...."Hope is a good thing...maybe the best of things...and no good thing ever dies."
Its a long season folks.
TEAM A:
C: 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, .267 BA .321 OBP
1B: 11 HRs, 55 RBIs, .262 BA, .330 OBP
2B: 8 HRs, 40 RBIs, .274 BA, .340 OBP
SS: .1 HR, 13 RBIs, .260 BA, .293 OBP
3B: 2 HRs, 23 RBIs, .261 BA, .321 OBP
LF: 17 HRs, 50 RBIs, .304 BA, .386 OBP
CF: 12 HRs, 47 RBIs, .308 BA, .362 OBP
RF: 8 HRs, 56 RBIs, .290 BA, .350 OBP
TEAM B:
C: 4 HRs, 23 RBIs, .262 BA, .297 OBP
1B: 5 HRs, 26 RBIs, .246 BA, .313 OBP
2B: 0 HR, 17 RBIs, .276 BA, .374 OBP
SS: 0 HR, 11 RBIs, ..251 BA, .345 OBP
3B: 5 HRs, 43 RBIs, .325 BA, .413 OBP
LF: 10 HRs, 31 RBIs, .277 BA, .387 OBP
CF: 1 HR, 8 RBIs, .176 BA, .242 OBP
RF: 2 HRs, 21 RBIs, .285 BA, .337 OBP
Woo! I smell World Series!!! But seriously, take a look at these two clubs. Neither of them is particularly good. Team A has some nice pieces, but seems to have as many holes as a WWE storyline. Team B, however, looks like the away box score for a Triple A game. Here's another statistic. One of these teams is 38-47 and 13.5 games behind their division leader. The other is 40-43 and 4.5 behind their division leader. Neither of these teams are "good" by definition. One of these teams doesn't have a playoff prayer. One of these teams is in a race.
Give up? Team A is the Baltimore Orioles. Team B is the official whipping boys of the Gotham media, the biggest disappointment since The Phantom Menace, the biggest New York tragedy since Bernie Madoff made a few withdrawals...Ladies and gentlemen, your New York Metropolitans.
Let me follow this little prologue with a disclaimer...I know I have at least one rabid and open Oriole fan who will read this (and another who is so far in the closet, Tom Cruise is ashamed of him...but I won't name names)...I was simply using the O's as a reference point. I don't think they are a joke. They are probably the best last place team in the majors (aka the tallest midgets), they have very nice young building blocks, and Dave Trembley is a ruggedly handsome man. So PLEASE click unsend on the hate mail.
This, unfortunately, is not a column on those lovable Birds. This is an investigation into baseball's biggest paradox this season...Los Mets. Let's get one thing out of the way...I am not a Mets fan. I am not a Yankee fan. I am not a Phillie fan. I am (sadly) a Mariners fan. That *SHOULD* make me unbiased, but alas I am not. As long as its all on the table, I'll readily admit to you that I don't particularly care for the Mets. Never have, never will. Don't ask me why...
That being said, we in the tri-state area have become so inundated with columns/articles/monologues/cave paintings on how tragically bad the Mets have been in 2009. The back page of the New York Post screams it. The hosts and callers on (non Shore Sports Report) talk radio preach it. Opposing fans revel in it. The misfortune of the Mets has become something of a Thanksgiving feast for the sports media...everyone's got their forks out, ready to dig into a delicious Omar appetizer, a succulent entree of Jerry, and a tantalizing David desert (all served with a side of Ollie). The whole thing got me thinking...is the feast really there? Or are we fattening up on a spread of wax vittles?
Fred Wilpon famously said at the end of the 2008 season that he believed his team, fresh off their second consecutive humiliating collapse, had "overachieved" that season. Wilpon was roundly mocked (and justifiably so) for this...With two legitimate MVP candidates, the best all-around center fielder in baseball and arguably the most talented leadoff man in baseball, the Mets lineup looked like a championship contender. The pitching rotation, which shouldered the blame for the '07 collapse, was anchored by the newly acquired Johan Santana and he did not disappoint, finishing 3rd in Cy Young voting. Of course, their bullpen featured such luminaries as Luis Ayala, Jorge Sosa, and everyone's favorite Met...Aaron Heilman. Lead after lead was blown by this bullpen and everyone from the press to the peanut vendors screamed "SAVE US OMAR!" Save them, he did not. The season, as it had the year prior, ended with the Mets choking away the playoffs yet again on the last day of the year. Mets fans braced themselves for the backlash and New York Post headlines writers were drooling at the wealth of puns that was to come. But it never came....Fred Wilpon came out, called the team overachievers, announced that both manager Jerry Manuel and general manager Omar Minaya's jobs were safe, and then left the press conference to go drop off another check at Bernie Madoff's office. As Citi Field was being constructed, Minaya went to work on constructing the team that was to play there...in his mind, a championship team. He did not dissolve the young core that had played in NLCS two years prior as some called for. Instead, he plugged the holes in 'pen, adding the best reliever on the market and a top 5 closer in the game Francisco Rodriguez for what many considered a bargain. He added another former All-Star closer in J.J. Putz to be the set-up man via trade. With the bullpen un-sucktified, he turned an eye to the lineup. With Wright, Reyes, Delgado and Beltran, he figured he had a championship offense and instead chose to build up a bench adding utility man and Peter Gammons text buddy Alex Cora, everyone's favorite paranoid Gary Sheffield and utility outfielder Jeremy Reed. With his lineup, bullpen, and rotation (with the questionably newly minted Oliver Perez) set, O-O-O-Omar and Metssss (apologies to Sir Elton) were ready to rock. Fans were excited and various publications were predicting the Metropolitans to christen Citi Field with a World Series trip. But, as is usually the norm with New York's red-headed step child, it didn't go exactly as planned.
If you've been following baseball this year, you know exactly what happened. As the season began, it became apparent that the architects behind Citi Field had used Petco Park as their template. "Fine then!" said the boys in blue and orange, "We'll win with pitching and defense!" A lovely idea, but a seemingly impossible one, as Oliver Perez turned into circa October 2000 Rick Ankiel and the defense (specifically "Murphy's Law" Danny Murphy) turned into a Buster Keaton film. Injuries piled up and with them came misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis by the Mets medical team of Doctors Howard, Fine, and Howard. Suddenly, it was June and folks who looked at a box score the morning after a Met game were treated to the Triple A lineup we have grown to love...Where was Jose Reyes? Carlos Delgado? Carlos Beltran? Daryl Strawberry? Mets fans would have even been happy to see George Foster's name in the lineup...at least he had some power! In the words of the grand philosopher Michael Ray Richardson..."the ship be sinking." There was more gnashing of teeth and beating of breasts in Queens than in the Old Testament...things were bad for the Mets and there were only getting worse and worse each passing day. But a funny thing happened...they never went away. They never had that 12 game losing streak that buried them. Perhaps its an indictment on the top of the division (I'm looking at you, champs), but the Mets never fell out of contention. Despite all the injuries, all the laughable failures, and all the apparent apathy from the front office, the New York Mets have kept one foot out of the grave. Don't get me wrong...the other foot is indeed in the grave and sinking. As the offense continues its silent protest against violence on baseballs and the pitching staff continues to struggle, the Mets come closer and closer to their appointment at Willoughby Funeral Home. But it hasn't come yet. Yes somehow the Metsises have remained psuedo-competitive despite a lineup that features has-beens, never-wases, and David Wright. I've always been a big proponent of Bill Parcells' credo..."pass the rolls." I also enjoy his other credo..."You are what your record says you are." That is absolutely true. Right now, the Mets are sub .500 team. 5 games under, to be exact. But if I told you at the outset of the year that a team was going to run Alex Cora, Gary Sheffield, Fernando Tatis and a slew of minor leaguers onto the field every day and on any given day could have the names "T. Redding", "L. Hernandez" or "F. Nieve" in the pitching form, what would you have predicted their record as? I'll answer that for you...ATROCIOUS. Refer back to the top of this post. On most nights, the Baltimore Orioles run out a team that, aside from David Wright, would not have a starting spot for ANYONE currently in the Mets starting lineup. The O's are 13 games out of 1st place. The Mets are 5.5. Perhaps that is misleading, as the Birdies in Black play in the best division in baseball, while the Mets play in the worst. So here's another one for you..."Tale of the Tape" wise, there are four positions that the putrid Washington Nationals have an everyday advantage over the Mets in (some might even argue five...the Wright/Zimmerman debate is going to be the DiMaggio/Williams of the '10s!)
The Mets are not a good team. The Mets are a bad team. That's why they are under .500. But they are not a TRAGIC team. At 4 games under .500, by the grace of God, they are still in the race for the National League East. If someone had told me in March that that was going to be the state of affairs in Queens, I would have (after chuckling) shook my head and said "How is that even possible?" So yes, where the Mets sit right now is disappointing. That being said, if someone had told me in March that the Mets were going to lose Carlos Delgado, Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, Brian Schneider, Ryan Church, Oliver Perez, and J.J. Putz to moderate to long DL stints before the All-Star Game, I would have (after chuckling) made the sign of the cross and given last rites to a team that would CERTAINLY (in my simple mind) have been 10-15 games off the division lead and d-e-a-d.
Perhaps the Mets will only sink further and further into the grave, ala the last few years of Zsa Zsa Gabor's life. Perhaps, like Godot before them, the reinforcements will never arrive. Perhaps the season is indeed lost. For the record, my gun to the head prediction would be that this team doesn't sniff the postseason. However...the Mets (provided they do not get swept by the Reds this weekend) sit in a position wherein if the reinforcements DO come back and Omar actually DOES get off his kiester and make a trade...perhaps we won't have to fire up the Chopin's Sonata No. 2. Perhaps the Song of Shea this year will be a refrain of early season collapse with a crescendo of late season run. Yes, you aren't going crazy....a New York/New Jersey sports guy is writing a POSITIVE column about the Mets. Kudos to Jerry Manuel for not letting the ship go entirely under. Kudos to Omar Minaya for building a championship bench (he can get a few more kudos if he actually...oh I don't know, DOES SOMETHING before its too late). Kudos to David Wright for doing his damnedest to keep the team afloat. And kudos to guys like our buddy Pete from Howell for never giving hope on this rag-tag team of minor leaguers. As they say in the Shawshank Redemption...."Hope is a good thing...maybe the best of things...and no good thing ever dies."
Its a long season folks.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
NBA MOCK DRAFT 2009 BONANZA HOEDOWN PARTY
Oh its time folks. Its time for the annual hootnanny of "upside", "wingspan", and goofy bowties...The NBA Draft. I can't lie, I LOVE the NBA Draft. I love ESPN's coverage of it too. I love the push (and subsequently failure of) of making Jay Bilas the basketball Mel Kiper. I love watching Jalen Rose talk like he's the measuring stick all potential NBA players need to measure up to. I love Stu Scott attempting to interview a kid who is clearly upset about where he's headed. The whole thing gives me a thrill. One thing I do not like, however, is trying to predict who will go where in this thing. Everyone trades up. Everyone trades down. People sell picks. They trade draft rights. Its almost as if they should do the thing without any cameras and two days later, print a list of who actually went where. Half the time, the team who picks a player has no intention of actually having the player on their team. It begs the question "Why not take a guy you actually want?" but what do I know. I'm not on mind-altering narcotics.
ANYWAY, like the NFL Draft before, my intrepid co-host has challenged me to a "Mock-Off." After an 8-8 tie in our NFL contest, the time has come to earn myself some bragging rights (and a sandwich.) I've been pouring over mock drafts since September, trying to find out exactly which one I wanted to rip off. But then I realized...what's so fun about a mock draft? What about my mock draft makes it a. entertaining or b. worth reading. Clearly, I do not know nearly enough to make it either, so I've decided to rely on cheap gimmicks. I've included a link in the names of each team...the links lead to a treasure trove of different photographs...Each of the players were drafted by said team...Each of the players made fools of the fans, owners, general managers, and basketball in general. Try and guess who they are!!!
WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU...
MIKE KRENEK'S NBA MOCK(ERY) DRAFT 2009
2. Memphis Grizzlies (Laugh it up, Drew): Hasheem Thabeet, C, UCONN
3. OKC Thunder (From "Possible High School Shooter" to Pro): Ricky Rubio, PG, Spain
4. Sacramento Kings (The Artist Formerly Known as Oliver): Tyreke Evans, PG/SG, Memphis
5. Minnesota Timberwolves (Are you kidding me, Felton?) : Stephen Curry, PG, Davidson
6. Minnesota Timberwolves (No witty caption. He just stunk): James Harden, SG, Arizona St.
7. GS Warriors (He's a better poet than center. His poems stink.): Jrue Holliday, PG, UCLA
8. New York Knicks (Hint: He's the dunkee. Not the dunker): Jordy Hill, PF, Arizona
9. Toronto Raptors (What's with the pose, man?): DeMar DeRozan, SG, USC
10. Milwaukee Bucks (I'd trade him for Dirk too): Jonny Flynn, PG, Syracuse
11. New Jersey Nets (RIP): Terrance Williams, SG, Louisville
12. Charlotte Bobcats (The Face of a Champion) : Gerald Henderson, SG, Duke
13. Indiana Pacers (Fun to say. Bad to play): Brandon Jennings, PG, Europe
14. Phoenix Suns (And I don't mean Barbosa): James Johnson, F, Wake
15. Detroit Pistons (Chill out, man): BJ Mullens, C, Ohio State
16. Chicago Bulls (Making sure you're paying attention): DeJuan Blair, PF, Pittsburgh
17. Philadelphia 76ers (Prediction? Payne...for the fans) Tywon Lawson, PG, UNC
18. Minnesota Timberwolves (Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Ebi?): Earl Clark, F, Louisville
19. Atlanta Hawks (No pro should look this surprised to have the ball): Eric Maynor, PG, VCU
20. Utah Jazz (Odds Quince just did something wrong?) Tyler Hansborough, PF, UNC
21. New Orleans Hornets: (Why the Old Man Halloween Mask, George?): Sam Young, SF, Pitt
22. Portland Trailblazers (Qyntel. One vowel. Less talent.): Chase Buddinger, SF, Arizona
23. Sacramento Kings (Nerdy white guy quota? Filled.): Omri Casspi, SF, Isreal
24. Dallas Mavericks (I'm actually wearing this at my wedding): Jeff Teague, PG, Wake
25. Oklahoma City Thunder (This will haunt my dreams.): Wayne Ellington, SG, UNG
26. Chicago Bulls (I'd be sad too, Marcus.): Austin Daye, SF, Gonzaga
27. Memphis Grizzlies (Here's a doughy fellow.): DaJuan Summers, SF, Georgetown
28. Minnesota Timberwolves (Let's give them a break this time): Derek Brown, SF, Xavier
29. Los Angeles Lakers (The face that blocked 1,000 trades): Patty Mills, PG, St. Mary's
30. Cleveland Cavaliers (Mihm's the word. In bad picks) Toney Douglas, G/F, FSU
Bet I got about 3 right.
ANYWAY, like the NFL Draft before, my intrepid co-host has challenged me to a "Mock-Off." After an 8-8 tie in our NFL contest, the time has come to earn myself some bragging rights (and a sandwich.) I've been pouring over mock drafts since September, trying to find out exactly which one I wanted to rip off. But then I realized...what's so fun about a mock draft? What about my mock draft makes it a. entertaining or b. worth reading. Clearly, I do not know nearly enough to make it either, so I've decided to rely on cheap gimmicks. I've included a link in the names of each team...the links lead to a treasure trove of different photographs...Each of the players were drafted by said team...Each of the players made fools of the fans, owners, general managers, and basketball in general. Try and guess who they are!!!
WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU...
MIKE KRENEK'S NBA MOCK(ERY) DRAFT 2009
1. Los Angeles Clippers (Who can take a franchise? Ruin it for good?): Blake Griffin, PF, OU
2. Memphis Grizzlies (Laugh it up, Drew): Hasheem Thabeet, C, UCONN
3. OKC Thunder (From "Possible High School Shooter" to Pro): Ricky Rubio, PG, Spain
4. Sacramento Kings (The Artist Formerly Known as Oliver): Tyreke Evans, PG/SG, Memphis
5. Minnesota Timberwolves (Are you kidding me, Felton?) : Stephen Curry, PG, Davidson
6. Minnesota Timberwolves (No witty caption. He just stunk): James Harden, SG, Arizona St.
7. GS Warriors (He's a better poet than center. His poems stink.): Jrue Holliday, PG, UCLA
8. New York Knicks (Hint: He's the dunkee. Not the dunker): Jordy Hill, PF, Arizona
9. Toronto Raptors (What's with the pose, man?): DeMar DeRozan, SG, USC
10. Milwaukee Bucks (I'd trade him for Dirk too): Jonny Flynn, PG, Syracuse
11. New Jersey Nets (RIP): Terrance Williams, SG, Louisville
12. Charlotte Bobcats (The Face of a Champion) : Gerald Henderson, SG, Duke
13. Indiana Pacers (Fun to say. Bad to play): Brandon Jennings, PG, Europe
14. Phoenix Suns (And I don't mean Barbosa): James Johnson, F, Wake
15. Detroit Pistons (Chill out, man): BJ Mullens, C, Ohio State
16. Chicago Bulls (Making sure you're paying attention): DeJuan Blair, PF, Pittsburgh
17. Philadelphia 76ers (Prediction? Payne...for the fans) Tywon Lawson, PG, UNC
18. Minnesota Timberwolves (Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Ebi?): Earl Clark, F, Louisville
19. Atlanta Hawks (No pro should look this surprised to have the ball): Eric Maynor, PG, VCU
20. Utah Jazz (Odds Quince just did something wrong?) Tyler Hansborough, PF, UNC
21. New Orleans Hornets: (Why the Old Man Halloween Mask, George?): Sam Young, SF, Pitt
22. Portland Trailblazers (Qyntel. One vowel. Less talent.): Chase Buddinger, SF, Arizona
23. Sacramento Kings (Nerdy white guy quota? Filled.): Omri Casspi, SF, Isreal
24. Dallas Mavericks (I'm actually wearing this at my wedding): Jeff Teague, PG, Wake
25. Oklahoma City Thunder (This will haunt my dreams.): Wayne Ellington, SG, UNG
26. Chicago Bulls (I'd be sad too, Marcus.): Austin Daye, SF, Gonzaga
27. Memphis Grizzlies (Here's a doughy fellow.): DaJuan Summers, SF, Georgetown
28. Minnesota Timberwolves (Let's give them a break this time): Derek Brown, SF, Xavier
29. Los Angeles Lakers (The face that blocked 1,000 trades): Patty Mills, PG, St. Mary's
30. Cleveland Cavaliers (Mihm's the word. In bad picks) Toney Douglas, G/F, FSU
Bet I got about 3 right.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Finals Fever
I'll come right out and say it. I am a diehard NBA fan. My walls are painted Indiana Pacers colors. The NBA on NBC theme is among my "Most Played" on ITunes. If you through my "Profile Pictures" album on Facebook, you'll find photos of Buck Williams, Anthony Mason, and the mid 90s Charlotte Hornets. I was the "I" in the "I Love This Game" ad campaign. I love baseball, adore football and tolerate hockey. But my soul is orange with black lining. So therefore, you'll excuse me for getting fired up when the "NBA is rigged" talk starts flaring up like a veneral disease. It fries my biscuts to say the very least. Yes, I know all about Tim Donaghy (who was just brutalized in prison...probably by a Suns fan.) but, by my estimation, David Stern (that adorable spitfire) cleaned up that mess and has restored order to the Roundball Kingdom. All we heard about this season was that the NBA "wanted" a Kobe/Lebron Finals and Stern would do everything in his tiny little power to make that happen. Please. Its a sport folks, not the WWE. Perhaps if Mike Brown had DDTed Stan Van Gundy or commisoned Ted DiBiase to pay off Rashard Lewis, I'd be singing a different tune. But conspiracy theorists be damned, the fact of the matter is the Finals matchup is between the Magic of Orlando and The Los Angeles Lakers.
Or at least it was until last night.
Trust me, the texts came in. "NBA's rigged!" "Stern must die!" "F**k this, I'm bringing back the ABA!". While I may like that last suggestion, let's get down to brass tax folks. Did the officials miss an offensive foul on Kobe Bryant during the extra period? Indeed they did. Bryant's elbow caught Jameer Nelson square in the chin and knocked him the ground, allowing The Fish to hit his second clutch three of the evening. But Magic fans must have their nerulyzers on full blast, because they seem to forget a play from earlier in which Nelson took something ELSE on the chin. With seconds remaining on the clock, a seemingly curious inbound call by Phil Jackson turned into something special for the Lake Show. Jackson decided to inbound the ball in the backcourt, a desicion that Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy questioned. However, two beautiful passes by Bryant and Trevor Ariza led to Derek Fisher being able to spot up and stroke a three that my father could have hit. It didn't have to be that way however. Jameer Nelson (whose presence on the floor is a different story altogether) decided to defend the much older, much slower, and much shinier Fisher inside the three point line. The Fish, as he's been doing his whole career, made Nelson pay and tied the ball game with 4.6 remaining. (On a side note, Derek Fisher told a reporter after the game that faith, confidence, family, and friends are what helps him be so clutch. I've got all four. Yet I couldn't make an NBA three pointer if you spotted me 2 points. What gives Derek?) As the great Grecian philospher Mark Jackson once said..."Hand down, Man down son." Jameer's gotta get right up in the gills of Fisher there.
HOWEVER...Nelson would have never been in the position to be out of position if Big Dwight Howard didn't clank two free throws on the possession before. Look guys, I love the big goof. He's the most dominant defensive center since Mt. Mutumbo and his ceiling is much higher. But his offensive game is far from polished. He doesn't have a go-to move and tries to rely on pure strength way too often. In the New York Post today, Kareem Abdul Jabbar (master of the go-to move and portraying goat-men in Gatorade commericals) shares my point of view on this. I've heard many people say they'd take Dwight Howard first overall in a "Entire NBA Fantasy Draft." I'm not doubting the big man's talent, but before I bust out the anoiting oils, I'd like to see him develop an offensive game other than crowdpleasing slams. I've heard a lot of folks (I'm looking at you Whitlock) who won't hang the goat's horns on Dwight for the missed free throws because "he's only 23" or "Free throws aren't his game", yet go on to compare him to Bill Russell in the same paragraph....
HOLD THE PHONE. You can't have it both ways. Either he's a 23 year old unpolished center or you have Bill Russell. You can't have your cake and eat it too (although in Whitlock's case, it seems he's been doing a bit of both.) The praise that is heaped on Dwight Howard galvanizes the truth. We are dealing with a guy who just isn't ready enough or complete enough to be the "star" on a championship team. Turning the ball over 7 times and leaving 8 points (including the afforementioned crucial pair) at the line is not going to get it done. Superman is fun to watch, he's got a million killowatt smile and a billion gigawatt jams, but he just don't have the complete game to be a championship caliber superstar now.
Fact of the matter is, the Magic aren't a championship team yet. I'm of the belief that the kick-it-out, run n' run, yell like a cracked out Grover style that SVG runs is not going to win a title. The 7 Seconds or Less Suns didn't win. This Magic team won't either. If Lebron hooks up with D'Antoni, I might be singing a different tune. But what Orlando is is a jump shooting team who can't put it away at the end. They turn the ball over (19 times) and can't convert at the stripe (59.5%). They lack the killer instinct that Kobe, Fish, Gasol, and Jackson have. They lack the experience. They lack closer mentality. And they lack a snappy rap song about their star.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5iXjWb3egQ
Lakers in 5.
Or at least it was until last night.
Trust me, the texts came in. "NBA's rigged!" "Stern must die!" "F**k this, I'm bringing back the ABA!". While I may like that last suggestion, let's get down to brass tax folks. Did the officials miss an offensive foul on Kobe Bryant during the extra period? Indeed they did. Bryant's elbow caught Jameer Nelson square in the chin and knocked him the ground, allowing The Fish to hit his second clutch three of the evening. But Magic fans must have their nerulyzers on full blast, because they seem to forget a play from earlier in which Nelson took something ELSE on the chin. With seconds remaining on the clock, a seemingly curious inbound call by Phil Jackson turned into something special for the Lake Show. Jackson decided to inbound the ball in the backcourt, a desicion that Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy questioned. However, two beautiful passes by Bryant and Trevor Ariza led to Derek Fisher being able to spot up and stroke a three that my father could have hit. It didn't have to be that way however. Jameer Nelson (whose presence on the floor is a different story altogether) decided to defend the much older, much slower, and much shinier Fisher inside the three point line. The Fish, as he's been doing his whole career, made Nelson pay and tied the ball game with 4.6 remaining. (On a side note, Derek Fisher told a reporter after the game that faith, confidence, family, and friends are what helps him be so clutch. I've got all four. Yet I couldn't make an NBA three pointer if you spotted me 2 points. What gives Derek?) As the great Grecian philospher Mark Jackson once said..."Hand down, Man down son." Jameer's gotta get right up in the gills of Fisher there.
HOWEVER...Nelson would have never been in the position to be out of position if Big Dwight Howard didn't clank two free throws on the possession before. Look guys, I love the big goof. He's the most dominant defensive center since Mt. Mutumbo and his ceiling is much higher. But his offensive game is far from polished. He doesn't have a go-to move and tries to rely on pure strength way too often. In the New York Post today, Kareem Abdul Jabbar (master of the go-to move and portraying goat-men in Gatorade commericals) shares my point of view on this. I've heard many people say they'd take Dwight Howard first overall in a "Entire NBA Fantasy Draft." I'm not doubting the big man's talent, but before I bust out the anoiting oils, I'd like to see him develop an offensive game other than crowdpleasing slams. I've heard a lot of folks (I'm looking at you Whitlock) who won't hang the goat's horns on Dwight for the missed free throws because "he's only 23" or "Free throws aren't his game", yet go on to compare him to Bill Russell in the same paragraph....
HOLD THE PHONE. You can't have it both ways. Either he's a 23 year old unpolished center or you have Bill Russell. You can't have your cake and eat it too (although in Whitlock's case, it seems he's been doing a bit of both.) The praise that is heaped on Dwight Howard galvanizes the truth. We are dealing with a guy who just isn't ready enough or complete enough to be the "star" on a championship team. Turning the ball over 7 times and leaving 8 points (including the afforementioned crucial pair) at the line is not going to get it done. Superman is fun to watch, he's got a million killowatt smile and a billion gigawatt jams, but he just don't have the complete game to be a championship caliber superstar now.
Fact of the matter is, the Magic aren't a championship team yet. I'm of the belief that the kick-it-out, run n' run, yell like a cracked out Grover style that SVG runs is not going to win a title. The 7 Seconds or Less Suns didn't win. This Magic team won't either. If Lebron hooks up with D'Antoni, I might be singing a different tune. But what Orlando is is a jump shooting team who can't put it away at the end. They turn the ball over (19 times) and can't convert at the stripe (59.5%). They lack the killer instinct that Kobe, Fish, Gasol, and Jackson have. They lack the experience. They lack closer mentality. And they lack a snappy rap song about their star.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5iXjWb3egQ
Lakers in 5.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Its Just like Christmas! If I got 300+ pound men in ill-fitting suits for Christmas!
Ahh yes...Its draft time ladies and gentlemen. Time for fans all over the league to sit and reminisce about all of the superstars they landed with their coveted first round pick...Seahawks fans like me hope we go QB again! Our track record is spotless! Dan McGwire! Rick Mirer! Ahhh! And Giants fans, all of your recent draft success has not gone unnoticed! All mock drafters around the nation like to discuss how the Giants have become the gold standard for drafting, and it is indeed true. However, Jerry Reese didn't have much to measure up to. Who can forget such lumanaries as Ron Dayne! William Joseph! The Immortal Cedric Jones! Yes folks, its draft day...the day Jets fans sit around and talk about the wonderful day when the entire Garden was chanting "We Want Warren! We Want Warren!" as Hall of Fame D-Tackle Warren Sapp eagerly waited to recieve his Jets jersey and the adulation that came with being the face of the Jets faceless franchise! And Paul Taliguabue read those famous words..."With the 9th Pick in the NFL Draft, the New York Jets select...Kyle Brady!"
Without further adieu, what I've been promising you on the air for days on end, the first ever edition of MICHAEL KRENEK'S SHOREFIRE (BUT 90% INCORRECT) MOCK DRAFT!!! COMPLETE WITH TRADES!
1. Detroit Lions-Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia (I think I nailed this one!)
2. St. Louis Rams-Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
3. Kansas City Chiefs-Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU
4. Washington Redskins (TRADE)-My Worst Enemy, QB, USC
5. Cleveland Browns-Aaron Curry, LB, Wake Forest
6. Cincinnati Bengals-Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia
7. Oakland Raiders-Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
8. Jacksonville Jaguars-B.J. Rajii, DT, Boston College
9. Green Bay Packers-Brian Orakapo, LB/DE, Texas
10. San Francisco 49ers-Andre Smith, OT, Alabama
11. Buffalo Bills-Aaron Maybin, LB/DE, Penn State
12. Denver Broncos-Rey Maualuga, LB, USC
13. Seattle Seahawks (TRADE)-Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio State
14. New Orleans Saints-Brian Cushing, OLB, USC
15. Houston Texans-Clay Matthews, OLB, USC
16. San Diego Chargers-Michael Oher, OT, Ole Miss
17. New York Jets-Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State
18. Denver Broncos-Robert Ayers, LB/DE, Tennessee
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois
20. Detroit Lions-Eben Britton, OT, Arizona
21. Philadelphia Eagles-Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State
22. Minnesota Vikings-William Beatty, OT, UConn
23. New England Patriots-Larry English, DE/LB, Northern Illinois
24. Atlanta Falcons-Peria Jerry, DT, Ole Miss
25. Miami Dolphins-Darius Butler, CB, UConn
26. Baltimore Ravens-Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland
27. Indianapolis Colts-Evander "Ziggy" Hood, DT, Missouri
28. Buffalo Bills-Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
29. New York Giants-Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina
30. Tennessee Titans-Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
31. Arizona Cardinals-Donald Brown, RB, UConn
32. Pittsburgh Steelers-Alex Mack, C, Cal
Without further adieu, what I've been promising you on the air for days on end, the first ever edition of MICHAEL KRENEK'S SHOREFIRE (BUT 90% INCORRECT) MOCK DRAFT!!! COMPLETE WITH TRADES!
1. Detroit Lions-Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia (I think I nailed this one!)
2. St. Louis Rams-Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
3. Kansas City Chiefs-Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU
4. Washington Redskins (TRADE)-My Worst Enemy, QB, USC
5. Cleveland Browns-Aaron Curry, LB, Wake Forest
6. Cincinnati Bengals-Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia
7. Oakland Raiders-Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
8. Jacksonville Jaguars-B.J. Rajii, DT, Boston College
9. Green Bay Packers-Brian Orakapo, LB/DE, Texas
10. San Francisco 49ers-Andre Smith, OT, Alabama
11. Buffalo Bills-Aaron Maybin, LB/DE, Penn State
12. Denver Broncos-Rey Maualuga, LB, USC
13. Seattle Seahawks (TRADE)-Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio State
14. New Orleans Saints-Brian Cushing, OLB, USC
15. Houston Texans-Clay Matthews, OLB, USC
16. San Diego Chargers-Michael Oher, OT, Ole Miss
17. New York Jets-Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State
18. Denver Broncos-Robert Ayers, LB/DE, Tennessee
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois
20. Detroit Lions-Eben Britton, OT, Arizona
21. Philadelphia Eagles-Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State
22. Minnesota Vikings-William Beatty, OT, UConn
23. New England Patriots-Larry English, DE/LB, Northern Illinois
24. Atlanta Falcons-Peria Jerry, DT, Ole Miss
25. Miami Dolphins-Darius Butler, CB, UConn
26. Baltimore Ravens-Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland
27. Indianapolis Colts-Evander "Ziggy" Hood, DT, Missouri
28. Buffalo Bills-Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
29. New York Giants-Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina
30. Tennessee Titans-Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
31. Arizona Cardinals-Donald Brown, RB, UConn
32. Pittsburgh Steelers-Alex Mack, C, Cal
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