NBA MOCK DRAFT 2009 BONANZA HOEDOWN PARTY

Oh its time folks. Its time for the annual hootnanny of "upside", "wingspan", and goofy bowties...The NBA Draft. I can't lie, I LOVE the NBA Draft. I love ESPN's coverage of it too. I love the push (and subsequently failure of) of making Jay Bilas the basketball Mel Kiper. I love watching Jalen Rose talk like he's the measuring stick all potential NBA players need to measure up to. I love Stu Scott attempting to interview a kid who is clearly upset about where he's headed. The whole thing gives me a thrill. One thing I do not like, however, is trying to predict who will go where in this thing. Everyone trades up. Everyone trades down. People sell picks. They trade draft rights. Its almost as if they should do the thing without any cameras and two days later, print a list of who actually went where. Half the time, the team who picks a player has no intention of actually having the player on their team. It begs the question "Why not take a guy you actually want?" but what do I know. I'm not on mind-altering narcotics.

ANYWAY, like the NFL Draft before, my intrepid co-host has challenged me to a "Mock-Off." After an 8-8 tie in our NFL contest, the time has come to earn myself some bragging rights (and a sandwich.) I've been pouring over mock drafts since September, trying to find out exactly which one I wanted to rip off. But then I realized...what's so fun about a mock draft? What about my mock draft makes it a. entertaining or b. worth reading. Clearly, I do not know nearly enough to make it either, so I've decided to rely on cheap gimmicks. I've included a link in the names of each team...the links lead to a treasure trove of different photographs...Each of the players were drafted by said team...Each of the players made fools of the fans, owners, general managers, and basketball in general. Try and guess who they are!!!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU...


MIKE KRENEK'S NBA MOCK(ERY) DRAFT 2009

1. Los Angeles Clippers (Who can take a franchise? Ruin it for good?): Blake Griffin, PF, OU

2. Memphis Grizzlies (Laugh it up, Drew): Hasheem Thabeet, C, UCONN

3. OKC Thunder (From "Possible High School Shooter" to Pro): Ricky Rubio, PG, Spain

4. Sacramento Kings (The Artist Formerly Known as Oliver): Tyreke Evans, PG/SG, Memphis

5. Minnesota Timberwolves (Are you kidding me, Felton?) : Stephen Curry, PG, Davidson

6. Minnesota Timberwolves (No witty caption. He just stunk): James Harden, SG, Arizona St.

7. GS Warriors (He's a better poet than center. His poems stink.): Jrue Holliday, PG, UCLA

8. New York Knicks (Hint: He's the dunkee. Not the dunker): Jordy Hill, PF, Arizona

9. Toronto Raptors (What's with the pose, man?): DeMar DeRozan, SG, USC

10. Milwaukee Bucks (I'd trade him for Dirk too): Jonny Flynn, PG, Syracuse

11. New Jersey Nets (RIP): Terrance Williams, SG, Louisville

12. Charlotte Bobcats (The Face of a Champion) : Gerald Henderson, SG, Duke

13. Indiana Pacers (Fun to say. Bad to play): Brandon Jennings, PG, Europe

14. Phoenix Suns (And I don't mean Barbosa): James Johnson, F, Wake

15. Detroit Pistons (Chill out, man): BJ Mullens, C, Ohio State

16. Chicago Bulls (Making sure you're paying attention): DeJuan Blair, PF, Pittsburgh

17. Philadelphia 76ers (Prediction? Payne...for the fans) Tywon Lawson, PG, UNC

18. Minnesota Timberwolves (Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Ebi?): Earl Clark, F, Louisville

19. Atlanta Hawks (No pro should look this surprised to have the ball): Eric Maynor, PG, VCU

20. Utah Jazz (Odds Quince just did something wrong?) Tyler Hansborough, PF, UNC

21. New Orleans Hornets: (Why the Old Man Halloween Mask, George?): Sam Young, SF, Pitt

22. Portland Trailblazers (Qyntel. One vowel. Less talent.): Chase Buddinger, SF, Arizona

23. Sacramento Kings (Nerdy white guy quota? Filled.): Omri Casspi, SF, Isreal

24. Dallas Mavericks (I'm actually wearing this at my wedding): Jeff Teague, PG, Wake

25. Oklahoma City Thunder (This will haunt my dreams.): Wayne Ellington, SG, UNG

26. Chicago Bulls (I'd be sad too, Marcus.): Austin Daye, SF, Gonzaga

27. Memphis Grizzlies (Here's a doughy fellow.): DaJuan Summers, SF, Georgetown

28. Minnesota Timberwolves (Let's give them a break this time): Derek Brown, SF, Xavier

29. Los Angeles Lakers (The face that blocked 1,000 trades): Patty Mills, PG, St. Mary's

30. Cleveland Cavaliers (Mihm's the word. In bad picks) Toney Douglas, G/F, FSU



Bet I got about 3 right.