Friday, October 30, 2009

Week 8 Picks: Now with 100% More Ties!

I'm so disgusted. Thanks to the Houston Texans, I have to walk around the rest of the season with the football equivalent of Hester Prynne's Scarlet "A"...the tie. Yes that disgusting extra dash will now be attached to my record the rest of the year. So let's here it for Gary Kubiak, Mike Singletary, and everyone else who made it possible for me to have this extra little "1" to lug around for the next 11 weeks!!! As my intrepid co-host pointed out however, at least everyone who picked the game has to deal with the tie. Its nice to know I'm not suffering alone. Anyway, a red hot start last week propelled me to over .500 once again! It would have been a legendary week, but I had been taking heavy hallucinogens and decided that choosing the Buccaneers and Redskins was the right choice. Luckily, I've cleaned up and am ready to take the jump from "Pretty OK" to "OK".


WEEK 8 PICKS:
Giants (PK) over EAGLES
JETS (-3) over Dolphins
COWBOYS (-9.5) over Seahawks
Texans (-3.5) over BILLS
COLTS (-12) over 49ers
Browns (+13) over BEARS
RAVENS (-3.5) over Broncos
TITANS (-3) over Jaguars
LIONS (-3.5) over Rams
PACKERS (-3) over Vikings
CHARGERS (-16.5) over Raiders
Panthers (+10) over CARDINALS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Falcons (+10) over SAINTS

and for the hell of it
Pettite (-1.5) over HAMELS

RECORD SO FAR:
51-50-1

Friday, October 23, 2009

Week 7: Call Me Wayne

Fontes...Wayne Fontes. That's who I'm feeling like this week, friends. A 7-7 week 6 keeps me sittin' pretty at one game under .500. I feel like Moses...before me sits The Land of Milk and Honey (in my case The Land of A Cut Above Average), but despite my long exodus through the desert, entry is being denied. This week is the week. I'm adjusting my robes, straightening my staff and marchin' into the Promised Land. Just call me the Moses of Mediocrity! Let's do some pickin'!


Chargers (-5) over CHIEFS
Colts (-14) over RAMS
Packers (-9) over BROWNS
STEELERS (-5.5) over Vikings
Tampa Bay (-15) over New England (clearly the matchup I'd send overseas. Gotta get 'em hooked!)
TEXANS (-3) over 49ers
Jets (-6) over RAIDERS
PANTHERS (-7) over Bills
BENGALS (-1) over Bears
Saints (-6.5) over DOLPHINS
Falcons (+4) over COWBOYS
GIANTS (-7) over Cardinals


MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
WASHINGTON (+7) over Philadelphia
(I said I'd never pick Jim Zorn again. I never said anything about Sherm "Bingo" Smith.)


And for the hell of it:
Pettite (-1.5) over Saunders


RECORD SO FAR: 44-45

*all lines courtesy of ScoresAndOdds.com
*all knowledge courtesy of a unwarranted sense of expertise

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Week 6 Picks

When I say these were finished before the games began...well you're just going to have to believe me.


SAINTS (-3) over Giants
Chiefs (+6.5 over REDSKINS
Texans (+3.5) over BENGALS
STEELERS (-14) over Browns
VIKINGS (-3) over Ravens
JAGUARS (-9.5) over Rams
Panthers (-3) over BUCS
PACKERS (-14) over Lions
Eagles (-14.5) over RAIDERS
SEAHAWKS (-3) over Cardinals
JETS (-9.5) over Bills
PATRIOTS (-9) over Titans
FALCONS (-3.5)over Bears

MNF:
CHARGERS (-3.5) over Broncos



Record So Far: 37-38

Friday, October 9, 2009

Week 5 Picks: I'M OVER .500

Yes folks, break out the champagne. Your beloved SSR co-host is FINALLY over .500 after a 9-5 Week 4 showing. There's a part of me that wants to retire before a week from hell sends me back to JauronLand, but I am many things...a quitter is not one of them. Before we begin, I'd like to remind everyone that I am NEVER EVER EVER picking Jim Zorn's Skins to cover. Never ever. Let's see if the good mojo continues into Week 5.



WEEK 5 PICKS
Raiders (+15.5) over GIANTS
Vikings (-10) over RAMS
Cowboys (-8.5) over CHIEFS
PANTHERS (-3.5) over Redskins
EAGLES (-14.5) over Bucs
BILLS (-6) over Browns
RAVENS (-8.5) over Bengals
Steelers (-10.5) over LIONS
49ERS (-2.5) over Falcons
Patriots (-3) over BRONCOS
CARDINALS (-5.5) over Texans
SEAHAWKS (+3) over Jaguars
Colts (-3.5) over TITANS


MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Jets (-1.5) over DOLPHINS



RECORD SO FAR: 32-29

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

This is Beyond Blogging

I'm sure you've all seen those "Beyond Baseball" commercials they've been running all season long to hype up the game and now, the playoffs. They are cheesy. They are typical. They are over dramatic.They are fantastic. I love them. When I see a new one come on, my eyes automatically go to the screen. I'd love to see one about The Shore Sports Report hosts:

*cue piano music* "They know Moises Alou's career on base percentage. While others chatted up girls at parties, they loudly argued over Edgar Martinez's Hall of Fame candidacy with anyone who'd listen. Joe's been known to decline social plans for May Yankee games. Mike plans his whole summer around the Mariners/Yankees series. Their "code words" for "late night activity" with the ladies centered around who was playing what base for their favorite teams at the time. Shockingly, it took a while for "Dan Wilson" to occur.

This is beyond virginity. This is beyond Sports Talk Radio."



Brings a tear to my eye, it does. But we are now actually beyond baseball ladies and gents. We are into the 2nd season, the maddening times of ups and downs, sevens and sweeps, walk-offs and blown saves. We are in October. As any baseball fan will tell you, this makes it all worth it. The 162 game season, the sometimes excruciating minutia, trying to get not too high during win streaks and not too low for losing streaks...It all comes down to this. No longer can people like my father say "How 'bout we get to October first?" We're in October, Pops. Its business time.


8 Teams for 1 goal. 7 of those teams join the other 22 on the list of "Failed Seasons." You play those 162 (or 163 in Minnesota's case) to get the opportunity to play AGAIN to get to the World Series. And win that. Then and only then can a team claim they had a successful season. Does it get more dramatic than that? To those of you who are rolling your eyes and saying "baseball is boring". BORING! HORSEFEATHERS my friend...sheer HORSEFEATHERS. Were you not watching when Matt Stairs took Big Bad John Broxton over the right field wall, validating a long, laborious and mediocre career! Did you miss the memo about the lowly Tampa Bay Rays making a miracle run to the World Series? What about the 2004 ALCS? Under a rock for that? Or the 2003 ALCS for that matter! AND THE 1995 ALDS! REFUSE TO LOSE! REFUSE TO LOSE! HOW IS ALL THIS BORING!!!!

And if you did miss all that, do yourself (and me) a favor. Sit your baseball bashing butt down, put on ESPN or the MLB Network or go to some sports website if you're into that sort of thing and watch the highlights of yesterday's one game playoff between the Tigers and Twins. If the thought of baseball entering your eye sockets disgusts you, then just read about it. The "game recap" is more enthralling than anything Dan Brown has ever written. Nothing I say here will do it justice. Just take a break from this blog, go check it out, and come back to me.


Now tell me baseball's boring.


PREDICTIONS:

Yankees over Twins: 3-0

Note to the afforementioned "baseball is boring" guy: Watch any series but this one. I doubt this will be pretty or fun for anyone but Yankee fans. Sure the Twins have Big Mo on their side, but the Yankees have a lineup that would win the World Baseball Classic and a pitching staff that we've seen shut down the best of the best. They also have that other Big Mo, the kind that will automatically quell any chance the Twins have to comeback in the 9th in a dramatic fashion. The bottom of Minny's order is not going to do much and Jack Morris ain't taking the hill. Great run, great game, great story...but not a great team. The Yanks on the other hand, are as good as they've been since '98. God Bless Ya, Minnesota. At least you'll get one more in the Metrodome.


Angels over Red Sox: 3-1

Los Angeles has somehow, someway flown under the radar all season long. Its so strange to see an Angels team slugging their way to victory. It seems...wrong. I feel dirty when I watch it. Repressed memories aside, the Angels can hack with the best of them. Their starting pitching isn't too shabby either...its the 'pen that worries you. On the other side, the Boston Red Sox have been baseball's Jekyll and Hyde this year. For some stretches they have looked very, very good. Others...very, very bad. I expect good Boston to show up, but I just think this Angels team is built for short series success and have waaay too much emotion on their side...Number 34 will be on the hearts and minds of Angels players. Couple that with their hot bats and battle-tested pitching, and you've got yourself a Yanks/Angels ALCS.



Phillies over Rockies: 3-1
I want to believe in Purple Reign. I want to believe in Rocktober. I want to believe in Tracymania. But unfortuantley, I can't. This Philadelphia team seems too rock solid to be shocked in a short series. The starting pitching has been very good and the lineup is outright filthy. I don't see the PHailure that is Brad Lidge factoring heavily into this one, as Philly is going to try to slug their way ahead early. The Rockies are a damn good team, much better than the squad that made the Fall Classic in '07. It would behoove the World Champs to get a good start out of Cole Hamels and sweep the first two at Citizen's Bank. Otherwise, perhaps that Rocktober magic may return.



Cardinals over Dodgers: 3-2
This is going to be a fantastic series. Both of these teams have had great seasons. I almost wish this was the NLCS, so it could go a little longer. The Cards have a clear advantage in the SP department. Two Cy Young candidates at the top, and Joel Pinero (laugh all you want...he's had a fine year and is matching up with Vincente Padilla in Game 2.) The Cards have had trouble hitting lefties all year, making the Dodgers throwing Randy Wolf and Clayton Kershaw in Games 1 and 2 respectively look very good. The Cards might have the edge at the plate, with Albert Pujols and Matt Holliday forming quite the duo but L.A. is loaded with young, underrated players looking to make an impact on a national stage. Manny Ramirez also looms large, but at this point, he's become more of an abstract idea than a hitter. "If Manny gets hot", "We've seen Manny do it before", "Manny is the X-Factor." Manny's hitting .219 in September. But...if he gets hot, we've seen him do it before and that makes him the X-Factor. Expect this one to go back and forth...maybe even some extra inning affairs. Ryan Franklin has been shaky in September and Big Bad John might still be seeing Matt Stairs stride up to the plate in his nightmares...in summnation, expect some heart pounding 9th innings. Ultimately, I see the Cards Big 2 of Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright being able to lead the team to the neccessary three wins...but it ain't gonna be easy.





I hate Halloween. Columbus Day means nothing to me. And my sister has reached the age where he birthday doesn't really excite anyone (26? Call me when you're 30, Jess.) All I've got this October is playoff baseball. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Expect the next few weeks of the Shore Sports Report to be jam-packed with everything you need for October baseball. Expect arguments. Expect analysis. Expect everyone under the sun to give their two cents. Because this is beyond sports talk radio...


This is playoff baseball.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Week 4: The Holy Grail Draws Near(er)

Here we are folks...After making the cardinal mistake of putting faith in both Jim Zorn AND Seneca Wallace in one week (its a wonder I get paid to talk sports), my 9-7 record puts me at a season record of 23-24. I'm no math wizard, but that puts me at one measely game under .500. As it stands, The Shore Sports Report Standings look like this.

Joe: 27-20, with a winning percentage just a few percentage points ahead of Bill Parcells

Mike: 23-24, with a winning percentage just a few percentage points ahead of Dave Wannstedt.


Hmmm. Guess we know who the SSR expert is.

But I only trail by four games, and had I not backed the Wallace/Zorn express, I'd be over .500 and feel like a real man.

Also, just as an FYI, IF the Skins do not cover this week, I will never, ever pick the Redskins to cover again. Ever.

THIS IS THE WEEK! WE BELIEVE! OVER .500! IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING! WE ARE ALL WITNESSESS!


WEEK 4 PICKS:
Giants (-8.5) OVER CHIEFS
Titans (-3) OVER JAGUARS
PATRIOTS (-2) over Ravens
Bengals (-5.5) OVER BROWNS
REDSKINS (-7) OVER Buccaneers
TEXANS (-9) over Raiders
BEARS (-10) over Lions
COLTS (-10.5) over Seahawks
DOLPHINS (+2) over Bills
49ERS (-9.5) over Rams
Cowboys (-3) over BRONCOS
SAINTS (-7) over Jets
Chargers (+6.5) over STEELERS

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
VIKINGS (-3.5) over Packers