Tyger, tyger burning bright
In the forests of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry
-William Blake
When Billy Blake penned this bad boy back in the 1800s, Eldrick Woods wasn't on his mind. But after watching our Tiger burn bright in the forests of the media since Thanksgiving, plenty of people have written plenty of things. And why not? It was too good to pass up! The infallible, pristine Tiger Woods...CHEATING? With PORN STARS? And ESCORTS? and PERKINS WAITRESSES??? (the punctuation here isn't mock alarm-ism...I'm sincerely puzzled.)
And in the days that followed the infamous Woods Family Thanksgiving Smackdown, all the man heard was "HOW COULD YOU?!?!?" "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!" "YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!!" Which is to be expected from a jilted wife. Except it wasn't coming from a jilted wife. Elin Woods was in Sweden...it was coming from us.
I'm not going to put the media on blast here. What's the point? They've got a job to do. Sell stories. Sell papers. Sell websites. Complaining about them is tilting at windmills. The mass media has changed over the past decade. We've reached a point where what was once one Page 7 on the National Enquirer now is on the front page of CNN.com. I kind of wish the great Walter Cronkite was still with us and on the air... "According to Ms. James, star of My First Sex Teacher, Tiger Woods enjoyed Male/Male/Female Threesomes. And that's the way it is."
We all know about supply and demand (Just ask Tiger! HEY NOW!) Its an economic practice so simple that I actually understand it. Give the people what they want and you'll succeed. Why did the New York Post cover sordid details of Tiger's affairs? Why did ESPN.com run full color photos of his harem? Supply and demand baby. America ate it up like we were at a China Buffet and they just refilled the Lo Mien.
Well guess what...I'm puking. I'm puking it back up right here on this little blog. Because it makes me sick. It turned my stomach to see Tiger Woods squirm and sweat his way through an uncomfortable apology to America this morning. But what turned this into Vom Party 2010 was people's reactions.
"Insincere!"
"Liar!"
"Not good enough for me!"
To those gnashing their teeth and beating their breasts, I've created a little flowchart I'd like you to consult.
I AM ANGRY THAT TIGER WOODS CHEATED!!!
Are you Elin Woods?
If you answered no to the above, are you related to Elin Woods or Tiger Woods?
If you answered no to the above, get a life.
Tiger Woods owes us NOTHING. Not an explanation, not a refund on his endorsements, and CERTAINLY not an apology. Think about this sentence for a moment and if you don't see the sheer absurdity of it, do yourself a favor and go lie down.
"I am angry that you cheated on your wife because you are good at golf."
There. That's the crux of this whole big damn deal. Don't tell me its more than that, because if it is, you're overthinking. The only reason we know the name Eldrick Tont Woods is because of a game. From his putt-off on "The Mike Douglas Show" in '78 to his face off with the media today, the only thing Tiger Woods has done worth noting is played golf. And playing it better than anyone ever has. But they didn't give him the Green Jacket for fatherhood. Last time I checked, his last ESPY wasn't for "Husband of the Year." We know him because he GOLFS. That does not make him a role model. That does not make him an icon. That makes him a man doing what he is great at. My father, Frank Charles Krenek, is a great transportation manager. If they had a transportation manager Hall of Fame, he would have been in the inaugural class. But if my father ever cheated on my mother (eligible for Mon Don Teacher HOF in 2013), he wouldn't have to go on ESPN and apologize. Why? Because nobody cares about the life of a transportation manager. But people care about Tiger Woods. Because he's on TV! He's in commercials! That makes him DIFFERENT! Why? Why does it make him different? I understand he has an "image." But that "image" was the product of a marketing team and publicist. Because that's what we want on our cans of shaving gel and boxes of cereal. An image. An image that we just CAN'T WAIT to tear down once someone gets it. To think we "knew" Tiger Woods because of how he sounded in interviews with Men's Health is mindbending. To those who say "The minute he signed up to be a spokesman, he signed up to be a role model!"...If I give you $5 million to say you like our radio show, you turnin' it down? Didn't think so.
Tiger Woods is a failure as a husband and Tiger Woods is a failure as a father. This is not in doubt. But you know what else its not? Our business. It is so unfair to say that it is simply because he's living out what seems to be his destiny...playing golf. The only people who have any right to feel let down by Tiger's actions are his family and friends. Watching him play golf on Sundays, buying products with his face on them...these things do not make you his friend. We live in a society in which everyone is OBSESSED with fame and OBSESSED with gossip. The minute someones face comes across a movie screen or a Jumbotron, we flock to them like vultures to carrion. Why? What makes them better than us? The money? The recognition? Those things come from a combination of luck and talent. Nothing else. Are we to begrudge them that? Athletes are not role models. Celebrities are not role models. Hitting a ball or signing a song does not make a person "great." It makes them "great at something." Its high time we got our noses of the tabloids and back into reality. If you are the type of person who needs a "role model"....maybe the vetting process should be more stringent than "Rich/Talented." There are role models in your own life...people you can actually SPEAK to. People who can actually GUIDE you. Not posters on your wall or faces on the Wheaties Box. Find those people, leave Tiger to lick his wounds, and listen to The Shore Sports Report on Fox Sports 1310am and 1160 WOBM AM. Joe Giglio?...Now that's a role model.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Coming Out
Each and every weekday, I go on the air and talk about the NFL playoffs, the MLB hot stove, the Shore Conference and whatever else is new and now in the world of sports. I love every minute of it. Its quite honestly a dream job and a strong testament to the notion that us 2.0 (Note to my future constituents: always round up.) students can be just as happy as those four eyed bookworms who "attend class" and "don't piss away thousands of dollars in wasted collegiate education." Yet, each and every day that On-Air light goes on, I find myself ignoring a little voice inside my head. Each and every day, I try to hide a dirty little secret that gnaws away at me. I simply can't go on this way anymore. I can't live in denial and hide my true self behind a mask of high school sports and spirited Jets discussion. I know I'm in the minority. I know my kind is not welcome in many fan circles around the nation. I know few in my field share my orientation and I know the majority of that minority hide it for fear of being ostracized. But Mike Krenek's gotta be Mike Krenek. Its time to step out of the closet I've hid in for years and tell the world who I am.
I am Michael Krenek. And I am die-hard NBA fan.
Ridiculously dramatic hyperbole aside, its amazing to me how quickly the National Basketball Association has become the fat chick in the collective sports world's group of female friends. I can sit for an entire column and tell you about her great personality, but by the time I get around to describing her tremendous sense of humor, your eyes will have wandered to the glorious butt of Major League Baseball, or the shapely fun bags of the National Football League. And who can blame you? The MLB is a year round phenomenon...The Winter Meetings are a group of white haired gentlemen getting together to act like sports talk radio callers/fantasy baseball owners for a few days (I'll give you Ty Wigginton and a prospect...you give me Adrian Gonzalez!) and its covered with the same breathless respect as the Conclave. The NFL is working towards pushing its season longer, with the Super Bowl coming the day before President's Day , in hopes that businesses will no longer have to deal with having 98% of their work force calling out "sick" on Monday. Even hockey has an entire nation (granted, not ours) who views it as their national pastime. So what does that leave for the NBA? I'll tell you what it leaves...a whole lot of eye rolls whenever it comes up. Both my co-host (hey, I'm not in the TMZ business of "outing" celebrities, but ask Joe Giglio about the Reignman. See what happens.) and myself have been roundly mocked many, many times for our desire to talk pro hoops. "It sucks." "Its a joke." "No one cares."
I care. Joe cares. And I'm tired of pretending that I don't. I understand that we're in an absolutely abysmal NBA market (Knicks! Nets! YEEHAW!)...and I also understand that that "abysmal" tag doesn't just apply to our little corner of the globe, but rather to just about everywhere. I know the league is bleeding money, I know the salary cap is shrinking, and I'm aware that the most discussed NBA debate at this point is "Which Arenas are emptier...3/4ths of the leagues or the ones in Gilbert's head." I get it. But I bristle every single time I hear someone say "I can't watch it anymore" or "That's not basketball". You know why?
Because those people are wrong.
What is it you want, Mr. Purist? What about today's game makes you OH SO ANGRY! What makes the game "not the game" anymore. Is it the histrionics? The chest pounding? The self congratulatory screaming? Well sorry Grandpa, but we live in the Sportscenter Era. Everyone always says "Why's he dancing! Its his job!". I agree to a point, but when did dunking a basketball (or hitting a homerun/returning an INT for that matter) become as easy as bagging trash or delivering mail? Every time a Broadway actor mouths "Oh thank you!" and blows kisses during a standing ovation, do you stand up and scream "THAT'S NOT MUSICAL THEATER!!!"? I've also got some sour news for you Jack...sports has ventured into the "entertainment" realm too. Guys sinking set shots and jogging back on defense in their short-shorts may get you all hot and bothered, but it doesn't exactly set a crowd on fire. I consider myself an "old school" guy (Tim Duncan's my favorite player), but I don't cry myself to sleep each and every time Kevin Garnett pounds his sternum.
Maybe its not the theatrics. Maybe its "the way the game is played." Answer me this...have you WATCHED a game in the past 5 years? Go ahead, reference Vince Carter and Allen Iverson again. Its completely fine to ignore the fact that about 450 players have eclipsed both of them in "face of the game" status. Do you long for the days of stars who play both sides of the floor with tenacity and flair? Ever hear of one Mr. LeBron James? Or Kobe Bryant, he's pretty popular...Duncan, Garnett, Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Dwight Howard, Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade. None of them ringing a bell? Are there guys who yell "Help" the minute their guy crosses the half-court line? Sure. Have there been those guys in every single era? You bet your sweet ass there have. But because these players DUNK and PUT THE BALL BETWEEN THEIR LEGS (the HORROR!), they must be selfish, me first guys who don't respect the sport. Good logic, hoss.
Today's NBA has everything a basketball fan could want. The aforementioned complete stars. Role players who do one thing and do it great (I'm looking at you Raja Bell). Intriguing young athletes with seemingly no ceiling (The Durantula). Brewing rivalries. Clashing styles...yet Mr. Purist's ilk continues to bitch and moan. Even when all facts are laid out on the table, they still have two aces up their sleeve. "The contracts! Oh the contracts!" they scream. Well, they've got me there! What can I say! Those selfish, awful new era players are at it again! Because I know if my boss walked up to me and said "Here's $100 million dollars to do your job." I'd most certainly respond "No thanks Boss! Barely getting by works for me!" And what of the classic "WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A $1 MILLION CONTRACT AND A $99 MILLION CONTRACT! SHOULDN'T ONE MILLION BE ENOUGH!" You know what the difference is? Ninety-friggen-eight-friggen million dollars. A player choosing a contract that's for $110 mil vs one that's for $105 mil is like me choosing a night of passion with Scarlett Johannson AND Katy Perry over one with just one of them. Could I get by on choice B? You betcha! But dangle choice A in front of me and suddenly I'm Tommy Dreamer.
"Thug Image!" Mr. Purist shouts. Well I'm not going to dignify that with a defense. Hey look...Gilbert Arenas, Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson. These guys and those like them are dumbasses. But there's dumbass postmen, dumbass Senators and dumbass radio hosts. But to say you don't want to watch the NBA because of its "Thug Image" is one of two things. Its either unfairly lumping every single player into a negative group because of the behaviors of the bad apples. Or its basically racism. So pick your ignorant poison, Mr. Purist.
I'm not even a little sorry if this blog comes off as abrasive or angry. Because that's its intent. I am angry. I'm angry about the BS I have to listen to spewed about my favorite sport each and every day. I'm angry that while my beloved NBA squirms under the hot lights of financial worry, Mr. Purist pours salt on my wounds with his (or her) "In my day" tripe. I'm angry that the players of today's game are continuously disrespected and stereotyped. And I'm flat pissed that nobody cares. NBA fans, its time to take a stand. No longer will we be shunned and laughed at when we want to discuss Amare Stoudemire's stat line from last night's game. No longer will our "Paul or Williams" bar debate be greeting with chuckles or apathy. "Your day" is gone Mr. Purist. Our day has arrived. We're living in a basketball golden age and its time to acknowledge it! Long Live the King! Long Live the Mamba! The time is now to stand up and take back our beloved fanhood. Its time to march on Universal Sports Fan Headquarters (wherever that is) and say we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore! Will it be an uphill battle? Yup. Will we face mounting opposition along the way. Indeed. Is there a good chance the league undergoes a drastic makeover due to its financial sorrows? Sadly, yes.
But remember this my friends...Fight and you may be mocked. Abandon the game and you'll live...at least a little while. And dying in your beds, many years from now would you be willing to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell the naysayers that they may take our league, but they'll never take... OUR FANDOM!
I love this game. And so should you.
I am Michael Krenek. And I am die-hard NBA fan.
Ridiculously dramatic hyperbole aside, its amazing to me how quickly the National Basketball Association has become the fat chick in the collective sports world's group of female friends. I can sit for an entire column and tell you about her great personality, but by the time I get around to describing her tremendous sense of humor, your eyes will have wandered to the glorious butt of Major League Baseball, or the shapely fun bags of the National Football League. And who can blame you? The MLB is a year round phenomenon...The Winter Meetings are a group of white haired gentlemen getting together to act like sports talk radio callers/fantasy baseball owners for a few days (I'll give you Ty Wigginton and a prospect...you give me Adrian Gonzalez!) and its covered with the same breathless respect as the Conclave. The NFL is working towards pushing its season longer, with the Super Bowl coming the day before President's Day , in hopes that businesses will no longer have to deal with having 98% of their work force calling out "sick" on Monday. Even hockey has an entire nation (granted, not ours) who views it as their national pastime. So what does that leave for the NBA? I'll tell you what it leaves...a whole lot of eye rolls whenever it comes up. Both my co-host (hey, I'm not in the TMZ business of "outing" celebrities, but ask Joe Giglio about the Reignman. See what happens.) and myself have been roundly mocked many, many times for our desire to talk pro hoops. "It sucks." "Its a joke." "No one cares."
I care. Joe cares. And I'm tired of pretending that I don't. I understand that we're in an absolutely abysmal NBA market (Knicks! Nets! YEEHAW!)...and I also understand that that "abysmal" tag doesn't just apply to our little corner of the globe, but rather to just about everywhere. I know the league is bleeding money, I know the salary cap is shrinking, and I'm aware that the most discussed NBA debate at this point is "Which Arenas are emptier...3/4ths of the leagues or the ones in Gilbert's head." I get it. But I bristle every single time I hear someone say "I can't watch it anymore" or "That's not basketball". You know why?
Because those people are wrong.
What is it you want, Mr. Purist? What about today's game makes you OH SO ANGRY! What makes the game "not the game" anymore. Is it the histrionics? The chest pounding? The self congratulatory screaming? Well sorry Grandpa, but we live in the Sportscenter Era. Everyone always says "Why's he dancing! Its his job!". I agree to a point, but when did dunking a basketball (or hitting a homerun/returning an INT for that matter) become as easy as bagging trash or delivering mail? Every time a Broadway actor mouths "Oh thank you!" and blows kisses during a standing ovation, do you stand up and scream "THAT'S NOT MUSICAL THEATER!!!"? I've also got some sour news for you Jack...sports has ventured into the "entertainment" realm too. Guys sinking set shots and jogging back on defense in their short-shorts may get you all hot and bothered, but it doesn't exactly set a crowd on fire. I consider myself an "old school" guy (Tim Duncan's my favorite player), but I don't cry myself to sleep each and every time Kevin Garnett pounds his sternum.
Maybe its not the theatrics. Maybe its "the way the game is played." Answer me this...have you WATCHED a game in the past 5 years? Go ahead, reference Vince Carter and Allen Iverson again. Its completely fine to ignore the fact that about 450 players have eclipsed both of them in "face of the game" status. Do you long for the days of stars who play both sides of the floor with tenacity and flair? Ever hear of one Mr. LeBron James? Or Kobe Bryant, he's pretty popular...Duncan, Garnett, Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Dwight Howard, Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade. None of them ringing a bell? Are there guys who yell "Help" the minute their guy crosses the half-court line? Sure. Have there been those guys in every single era? You bet your sweet ass there have. But because these players DUNK and PUT THE BALL BETWEEN THEIR LEGS (the HORROR!), they must be selfish, me first guys who don't respect the sport. Good logic, hoss.
Today's NBA has everything a basketball fan could want. The aforementioned complete stars. Role players who do one thing and do it great (I'm looking at you Raja Bell). Intriguing young athletes with seemingly no ceiling (The Durantula). Brewing rivalries. Clashing styles...yet Mr. Purist's ilk continues to bitch and moan. Even when all facts are laid out on the table, they still have two aces up their sleeve. "The contracts! Oh the contracts!" they scream. Well, they've got me there! What can I say! Those selfish, awful new era players are at it again! Because I know if my boss walked up to me and said "Here's $100 million dollars to do your job." I'd most certainly respond "No thanks Boss! Barely getting by works for me!" And what of the classic "WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A $1 MILLION CONTRACT AND A $99 MILLION CONTRACT! SHOULDN'T ONE MILLION BE ENOUGH!" You know what the difference is? Ninety-friggen-eight-friggen million dollars. A player choosing a contract that's for $110 mil vs one that's for $105 mil is like me choosing a night of passion with Scarlett Johannson AND Katy Perry over one with just one of them. Could I get by on choice B? You betcha! But dangle choice A in front of me and suddenly I'm Tommy Dreamer.
"Thug Image!" Mr. Purist shouts. Well I'm not going to dignify that with a defense. Hey look...Gilbert Arenas, Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson. These guys and those like them are dumbasses. But there's dumbass postmen, dumbass Senators and dumbass radio hosts. But to say you don't want to watch the NBA because of its "Thug Image" is one of two things. Its either unfairly lumping every single player into a negative group because of the behaviors of the bad apples. Or its basically racism. So pick your ignorant poison, Mr. Purist.
I'm not even a little sorry if this blog comes off as abrasive or angry. Because that's its intent. I am angry. I'm angry about the BS I have to listen to spewed about my favorite sport each and every day. I'm angry that while my beloved NBA squirms under the hot lights of financial worry, Mr. Purist pours salt on my wounds with his (or her) "In my day" tripe. I'm angry that the players of today's game are continuously disrespected and stereotyped. And I'm flat pissed that nobody cares. NBA fans, its time to take a stand. No longer will we be shunned and laughed at when we want to discuss Amare Stoudemire's stat line from last night's game. No longer will our "Paul or Williams" bar debate be greeting with chuckles or apathy. "Your day" is gone Mr. Purist. Our day has arrived. We're living in a basketball golden age and its time to acknowledge it! Long Live the King! Long Live the Mamba! The time is now to stand up and take back our beloved fanhood. Its time to march on Universal Sports Fan Headquarters (wherever that is) and say we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore! Will it be an uphill battle? Yup. Will we face mounting opposition along the way. Indeed. Is there a good chance the league undergoes a drastic makeover due to its financial sorrows? Sadly, yes.
But remember this my friends...Fight and you may be mocked. Abandon the game and you'll live...at least a little while. And dying in your beds, many years from now would you be willing to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell the naysayers that they may take our league, but they'll never take... OUR FANDOM!
I love this game. And so should you.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Week 17 Picks
Both my horrific streak and the decade ended since we last talked. After a 9-6-1 (FIVE pushes on the year now. Fun!) Week 16, I'm finally back over .500 for the season. Many pundits (or just me) have proclaimed 2010 "The Year of Mikey Krenek), so let's find out if that is indeed the case.
WEEK 17 PICKS:
VIKINGS (-9) over Giants
Bengals (+10) over JETS
BILLS (-8.5) over Colts
PANTHERS (-3) over Saints
Jaguars (+1.5) over BROWNS
Eagles (+3) over COWBOYS
BEARS (-3) over Lions
TEXANS (-8) over Patriots
Steelers (-3) over DOLPHINS
49ers (-7) over RAMS
Falcons (-2.5) over BUCCANEERS
Packers (-3.5) over CARDINALS
BRONCOS (-12) over CHIEFS
RAIDERS (+10.5) over Ravens
CHARGERS (-3.5) over Redskins
Titans (-4) over SEAHAWKS
RECORD SO FAR: 117-116-5
WEEK 17 PICKS:
VIKINGS (-9) over Giants
Bengals (+10) over JETS
BILLS (-8.5) over Colts
PANTHERS (-3) over Saints
Jaguars (+1.5) over BROWNS
Eagles (+3) over COWBOYS
BEARS (-3) over Lions
TEXANS (-8) over Patriots
Steelers (-3) over DOLPHINS
49ers (-7) over RAMS
Falcons (-2.5) over BUCCANEERS
Packers (-3.5) over CARDINALS
BRONCOS (-12) over CHIEFS
RAIDERS (+10.5) over Ravens
CHARGERS (-3.5) over Redskins
Titans (-4) over SEAHAWKS
RECORD SO FAR: 117-116-5
Friday, December 25, 2009
Week 16 Picks
I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas. I certainly did...I'm currently bringing this to you via my brand new laptop which, among many other things, help me not even sniff the Crummy Gifts O/U from last week. I echo all of the sentiments in Joe's blog...you guys have made the Shore Sports Report possible and our time hosting it for you has been the greatest gift I've ever been given. As my rough season winds down and the holidays are warm in your hearts...I'd like to ask the fans of teams who either have wrapped up their berth or are scrapping for theirs to take a moment to remember the teams that have gone before you. At this joyous time of the year, turn your thoughts to the Rams, the Bears, the Browns, the Seahawks and all those like him. God Bless Ye Forgotten Teams. I feel your pain.
WEEK 16 PICKS:
CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR:
Chargers (+2) over TITANS
SUNDAY:
PACKERS (-14) over Seahawks
BROWNS (-3) over Raiders
BENGALS (-13.5) over Chiefs
FALCONS (-9) over Bills
DOLPHINS (-3) over Texans
GIANTS (-7) over Panthers
SAINTS (-14) over Buccaneers
PATRIOTS (-8) over Jaguars
STEELERS (-3) over Ravens
Broncos (+7) over EAGLES
Rams (+14) over CARDINALS
49ERS (-13) over Lions
COLTS (-5.5) over Jets
Cowboys (-7) over REDSKINS
BEARS (+6) over Vikings
RECORD SO FAR: 108-110-4
WEEK 16 PICKS:
CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR:
Chargers (+2) over TITANS
SUNDAY:
PACKERS (-14) over Seahawks
BROWNS (-3) over Raiders
BENGALS (-13.5) over Chiefs
FALCONS (-9) over Bills
DOLPHINS (-3) over Texans
GIANTS (-7) over Panthers
SAINTS (-14) over Buccaneers
PATRIOTS (-8) over Jaguars
STEELERS (-3) over Ravens
Broncos (+7) over EAGLES
Rams (+14) over CARDINALS
49ERS (-13) over Lions
COLTS (-5.5) over Jets
Cowboys (-7) over REDSKINS
BEARS (+6) over Vikings
RECORD SO FAR: 108-110-4
Friday, December 18, 2009
Week 15 Picks
I'm not writing anything witty anymore. Because what's the point. I stink. You know I stink. Time to go through the motions.
THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Colts (-3) over JAGUARS (picked on the show)
SPECIAL SATURDAY NIGHT EDITION OF THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (no, really):
SAINTS (-7.5) over Cowboys
SPECIAL SUNDAY EDITION OF A SPECIAL SATURDAY NIGHT EDITION OF THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Falcons (+6) over JETS
STEELERS (-2) over Packers
TITANS (-3) over Dolphins
Patriots (-7) over BILLS
CARDINALS (-12) over Lions
EAGLES (-8.5) over 49ers
Bears (+11) over RAVENS
CHIEFS (-2) over Browns
RAMS (+11) over Texans
CHARGERS (-6.5) over Bengals
BRONCOS (-14) over Raiders
SEAHAWKS (-6.5) over Buccaneers
Vikings (-9) over PANTHERS
FOOTBALL ON MONDAY:
Giants (-3) over REDSKINS
And for the hell of it
O/U on Crummy Gifts I recieve: 1.5
I'm taking the Under. Something's gotta break my way, right? Happy Holidays, my friends.
THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Colts (-3) over JAGUARS (picked on the show)
SPECIAL SATURDAY NIGHT EDITION OF THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (no, really):
SAINTS (-7.5) over Cowboys
SPECIAL SUNDAY EDITION OF A SPECIAL SATURDAY NIGHT EDITION OF THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
Falcons (+6) over JETS
STEELERS (-2) over Packers
TITANS (-3) over Dolphins
Patriots (-7) over BILLS
CARDINALS (-12) over Lions
EAGLES (-8.5) over 49ers
Bears (+11) over RAVENS
CHIEFS (-2) over Browns
RAMS (+11) over Texans
CHARGERS (-6.5) over Bengals
BRONCOS (-14) over Raiders
SEAHAWKS (-6.5) over Buccaneers
Vikings (-9) over PANTHERS
FOOTBALL ON MONDAY:
Giants (-3) over REDSKINS
And for the hell of it
O/U on Crummy Gifts I recieve: 1.5
I'm taking the Under. Something's gotta break my way, right? Happy Holidays, my friends.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Week 14 Picks
These were made before the games started. Why would I lie?
GIANTS (-1.5) over Eagles
COLTS (-6.5) over Broncos
Bengals (+6) over VIKINGS
BUCCANEERS (+3.5) over Jets
Bills (-2.5) over CHIEFS
PACKERS (-4) over Bears
Dolphins (+2) over JAGUARS
FALCONS (+10) over Saints
Lions (+14) over RAVENS
PATRIOTS (-12.5) over Panthers
Seahawks (+7) over TEXANS
TITANS (-13) over Rams
Redskins (-2.5) over RAIDERS
Chargers (+3.5) over COWBOYS
Cardinals (-3) over 49ERS
GIANTS (-1.5) over Eagles
COLTS (-6.5) over Broncos
Bengals (+6) over VIKINGS
BUCCANEERS (+3.5) over Jets
Bills (-2.5) over CHIEFS
PACKERS (-4) over Bears
Dolphins (+2) over JAGUARS
FALCONS (+10) over Saints
Lions (+14) over RAVENS
PATRIOTS (-12.5) over Panthers
Seahawks (+7) over TEXANS
TITANS (-13) over Rams
Redskins (-2.5) over RAIDERS
Chargers (+3.5) over COWBOYS
Cardinals (-3) over 49ERS
Friday, December 4, 2009
Week 13 Picks: I'm Ashamed
I don't truly know why I'm writing this. I think I proved to the whole wide world last weekend that I don't have an EARTHLY clue what I am talking about. 5-10-1. That is HIDEOUS. My Sunday record was a stellar 3-8-1. Now I've got two ties on my record. That's like two oozing coldsores on my lip. I could have sworn I picked the Bucs, the Bills, and the Redskins. Clearly, a wandering band of gremlins whose only purpose is to embarass Mike Krenek hacked into my account. Those guys have been on my tail for years...and their success rate has been very, very high. If gremlins work on commission, these guys are the Sultans of Brunei to the Goblin Community. I've changed my password and am growing a beard to hopefully throw them off the trail.
Somehow, I'm still above .500 for the season. Consider this week's picks a drowning man's last gasp for air. Sink or swim time.
WEEK 13 PICKS:
Thursday Night:
BUFFALO (+3) over Jets (Oh Joy! 0-1 to start!)
Sunday:
GIANTS (+2) over Cowboys
Broncos (-4.5) over CHIEFS
STEELERS (-14.5) over Raiders
Texans (PK) over JAGUARS
Titans (+6.5) over COLTS
Eagles (-3.5) over FALCONS
BENGALS (-13) over Lions
Saints (-9.5) over REDSKINS
PANTHERS (-6) over Buccaneers
BEARS (-9) over Rams
Chargers (-13) over BROWNS
SEAHAWKS (PK) over 49ers
Patriots (-3) over DOLPHINS
Vikings (-3) over CARDINALS
MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
PACKERS (-3) over Ravens
I'm feeling pretty confident. This is it. This is the week I show the world that Mike Krenek is not a man to be taken lightly! Mike Krenek is not a joke! Mike Krenek is not a man to be embarassed!!!
OH NO.
RECORD SO FAR: 88-84-2
Somehow, I'm still above .500 for the season. Consider this week's picks a drowning man's last gasp for air. Sink or swim time.
WEEK 13 PICKS:
Thursday Night:
BUFFALO (+3) over Jets (Oh Joy! 0-1 to start!)
Sunday:
GIANTS (+2) over Cowboys
Broncos (-4.5) over CHIEFS
STEELERS (-14.5) over Raiders
Texans (PK) over JAGUARS
Titans (+6.5) over COLTS
Eagles (-3.5) over FALCONS
BENGALS (-13) over Lions
Saints (-9.5) over REDSKINS
PANTHERS (-6) over Buccaneers
BEARS (-9) over Rams
Chargers (-13) over BROWNS
SEAHAWKS (PK) over 49ers
Patriots (-3) over DOLPHINS
Vikings (-3) over CARDINALS
MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL:
PACKERS (-3) over Ravens
I'm feeling pretty confident. This is it. This is the week I show the world that Mike Krenek is not a man to be taken lightly! Mike Krenek is not a joke! Mike Krenek is not a man to be embarassed!!!
OH NO.
RECORD SO FAR: 88-84-2
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